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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826918">Wildcard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesaddestcoolkid/pseuds/Thesaddestcoolkid'>Thesaddestcoolkid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>About being born in a lab?, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, BAMF TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), ConarEatsShit, Demon Darryl Noveschosch, Diamond Golem Hybrid Zak Ahmed, Dont worry hes still up and running, Good Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), He has trauma tho, He knows this, Human Experimentation, I Am Sorry, Im using the characters not the people, Laboratories, Like holy shit get this man some therapy, Married Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch, Minor Original Character(s), Non-Sexual Intimacy, Oh shit Tommy died, Parental Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Parental Sam | Awesamdude, Phil and Sam: HELLO NEW CHILD, Protective Phil, Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Ram Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Remember that thing that tommy joked about in a stream?, Sad orphan with possible tragic backstory: hell-, Self-Hatred, The egg is not what you think it is, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Tommy avoiding dealing with his trauma by using humor?, Tommy isnt human anymore, Vigilante Sapnap, Vigilante TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Vigilante Tubbo, Why does it say their real names thats wack, just dead, no beta we die like prince phillip, we been knew</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:36:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesaddestcoolkid/pseuds/Thesaddestcoolkid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>By the age of four, Theseus learns that you should always value life, for it can slip away at the most unexpected moments.<br/>Now 16 and a vigilante, Tommy has to juggle running away from heroes while simultaneously helping innocents, trying to pay the bills, and eventually, when all options run out... He has to work for the heroes as a civilian.<br/>Yeah, life might not be easy for him but with his two friends forged in fire, he might just make it work<br/>--<br/>ALL CHARACTERS ARE JUST THEIR PERSONAS, NOT THE REAL PEOPLE</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sapnap &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Tommyinnit, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>827</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Maybe we'll meet again, in another life.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fire was everywhere. It swarmed higher and higher, the building had gone up completely in flames. The heroes coughed and sputtered, looking for any survivors. A small child with a white headband tied around his head was struggling to pull himself from under a stray piece of rubble, and Bad gasped. "Oh my m-muffin, Sappy, what are you doing here-" He pulled his child up with a worried expression. "What on earth are you here for."</p><p>"I-I saw some kids, papa. One was bleeding but here wasn't on fire. One of them said his name was um..." The seven year old tried to recall. "Theseus?" Sapnap shivered, tears dripping down his face. "Papa, I'm scared! I wanna go home!"</p><p>"Shh, hey, it's alright. We're gonna go home."</p><p>Booming laughter rang through the wreckage as a magma covered villain stood atop the destruction. "Tremble in fear, for Magmaman is here!" A jet of burning hot lava was sent their way, and Badboyhalo easily dodged, even with his son in his hands. He hissed angrily. "<em><strong>How dare you</strong></em>-"</p><p>He didn't see it coming.</p><p>The magma made a sharp 180 turn and splashed him hard. His clothes were thankfully fireproof, but-</p><p>Sapnap was being carried back in the lava-</p><p>His son was immune to fire, yes, but he was <strong><em>being fucking TAKEN-</em></strong></p><p>Bad sprinted and reached out for his little bundle of sunshine, praying to whatever power above that his baby boy would be ok.</p><p>In the end, he was found sobbing on the ground. Everyone had managed to escape, and his husband, Skeppy, had walked up from behind him. "Bad? Oh jeez, what's wrong?"</p><p>"They took Sappy." The words rung in his ears, as if confirming what he dreaded was true. "They took our baby."</p><p>A shout was heard in the distance. "Tubbo! Kid, where are you?" The ram hero, Jschlatt, was searching among the rubble, near frantic. Philza walked up to the panicked man. "Was Tubbo here?"</p><p>"Yeah! He was playing with these two kids when that asshole attacked, and now I can't..." He trailed off. "I can't find him."</p><p>"The same thing happened with me." Bad slowly made his way over to the two, Skeppy trailed behind him. "Sappy was here because he said he saw a bloodied up kid, and one other one. I'm assuming that the other was Tubbo. As for where your son is now. Um." Bad looked away, unwilling to break the news. Skeppy, bless him, was the one to finish his love's sentence. "They took our son, they might've taken yours as well." Schlatt looked unbelieving, his frame shock slightly. "No, they... They couldn't have taken my boy, right?"</p><p>Silence was an oppressive blanket.</p><p>"R-Right?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, Schlatt."</p><p>The heroes silently mourned their missing children, and victory had never tasted so much like defeat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, new kids. Wake up." Tubbo was shaken awake. "Wh...?"</p><p>"Oh hey, you're up." Tubbo blinked himself awake to meet eyes with a scraggly looking boy. It was the bloody boy he saw earlier. "Oh! Um, you are..." He trailed off, not knowing his friend's(?) name. </p><p>"Theseus. You're Tubbo?"</p><p>Tubbo nodded.</p><p>"And that's Snapnap?"</p><p>"Sapnap. But yeah. Where are we?"</p><p>"We're at the facility."</p><p>"Facility?" Tubbo got up and looked around. He was in a cell, it was dingy and slightly cold. Sapnap lied in the corner, still unconscious. "When are they gonna let us leave?"</p><p>Theseus let out a dark chuckle, brushing some of his long blonde hair out of his face. It looked knotted. "If you're lucky? They'll sell you. Maybe back to your families for a ransom."</p><p>"If we're not?"</p><p>"Then they'll kill you, or you'll be one of their newest experiments."</p><p>It was dead silent. Tubbo looked horrified. "Oh my god." His eyes darted around frantically. "W-We have to get out of here."</p><p>"Good luck. I thought I'd gotten out, but I was too hurt to carry on."</p><p>"If you..." Tubbo contemplated, eyebrows scrunched together in thought. "If you weren't hurt, do you think you would've gotten out?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I know a lot of medical stuff." Tubbo looked at Theseus, determined. "Sapnap is good at fighting. Plus, you had gotten out before, hadn't you? That means that you're at least a little competent when it comes to fighting, as well as the layout of here."</p><p>Theseus looked shocked for a moment before a huge grin split across his face. "You know what? I think you may just be onto something, New kid."</p><p>Sapnao stirred, and Theseus nodded at his conscious cellmate. "I guess you can call me by my nickname then, although don't do it around the adults, k?"</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>"Call me Tommy."</p><p>"Nice to be working with you, Tommy."</p><p>"You as well, Tubbo."</p><p>Sapnap blinked his eyes open. "...Where are we?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So, what's the plan?" Sapnap looked between his new and old comrades. "We gotta have one if we're getting out of here."</p><p>Tommy sat down next to the other two. "I have a couple of ideas, here's my best one." He grinned a bit when he saw that the two were both looking at him intently. "So, we know that you-" he pointed at the black haired boy. "-are good at fighting, and you-" he pointed at the ram hybrid. "-are good at first aid. I'm good at fighting, but not any first aid, so Tubbo's gonna be a big help." The boy preened a bit at that. "My power is also going to be a main staple of this plan."</p><p>"What's it do?"</p><p>"I was getting to that." He pulled a pack of cards from seemingly nowhere. "My power is called wildcard. Each card of this deck has a different power on it, and whichever one I draw, I get for like, fourth minutes if I don't turn it off before. My wildcard always gives me a power that helps me achieve what I was going to use a power for. Sometimes I have to kinda guess though, like if I was drowning and did a pull and it gave me flying, I'd have to figure out how to solve the problem with flying. It never gives me something that won't solve the problem, thankfully. I just have to get creative sometimes." He grinned with the other two. "If I do a helpful pull, then we might be able to get out."</p><p>"That's super cool! Me and Sapnap have hybrid powers, he's half blaze and I'm a ram hybrid."</p><p>"Oh, cool." Tommy nodded. "So, here's the plan-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alarms blared through the facility. The researchers looked around, alarmed, and unknowing of what was happening.</p><p>
  <em>WARNING! SECURITY BREACH! WARNING! SECURITY BREACH!</em>
</p><p>They ran to the control pannels to the head officer. "Officer, what's going on?!"</p><p>"Theseus, along with the two others that we got back today escaped again! Search the perimeters, and don't leave a single stone unturned! We need those kids alive."</p><p>"YES SIR!" They ran off, unknowingly ignoring the seven year old that was sneaking in and downloading their files.</p><p>A few minutes later, a small voice reached the officer's ears. "Excuse me, Mr?" His eyes diverted quickly, and Theseus was standing there in his hospital gown glory. "Sorry about this." He fell through the floor, and the officer suddenly smelled salt. His eyes opened, and he found himself in the pacific.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy grabbed the USB before running off, his bare, calloused feet not making a sound on the polished linoleum. He mentally thanked his deck for giving him portals, and spoke into the walkie-talkie that he snatched from one of the wardens. "Guys, I got the files and am going to our meeting spot! Where are you?"</p><p>"We're in the med-bay! We've stocked up on stuff, but we locked the door and the scientists are almost in! We need a portal, now!"</p><p>"On it!" He envisioned his two partners in crime next to a swirling portal to the outside, but while he was trying, he bumped into someone amongst the chaos.</p><p>Magmaman stood there angrily. "Cmere, runt!"</p><p>Tommy turned and ran. "No, I don't think I will!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tubbo and Sapnap stood outside, worridly waiting for their blonde friend. "Do you think he got caught?"</p><p>"Nah, just give him a minute. He'll be out before you know it."</p><p>A purple swirling portal opened next to them, and lo and behold, Tommy hopped out of it. Tubbo cheered, and Sapnap sighed in relief. "Oh god, we thought you were caught."</p><p>"Me? Tommy? Never. I'm too good to be caught."</p><p>Schlatt's son laughed. "But of course." Sapnap's tail wagged excitedly, and only then did Tommy notice the rest of his mutations. He had horns and pointed ears, as well as sharper canines and slight claws. It was pretty cool, but Tommy'd never admit it. As for Tubbo, he had slight horns and goat-slit eyes, along with a puffy tail and what looked to be hooves, although Tommy wasn't sure.</p><p>He huffed, and looked back at the now flaming facility. Second burning building of the day, anyone? The reality of their situation finally seeped in, and he let out an unbeliving laugh. "We did it."</p><p>"Heck yeah we did!" Sapnap cheered loudly this time, hopping a bit in the air. "We did it tofather, all three of us!"</p><p>Tubbo giggled. "I'm just glad we're all safe. Speaking of, does anyone have injuries that I should patch up? Dad showed me the ropes of first aid."</p><p>"I scraped one of my knees bad, but that's about it for me." The half-demon not looked at his comrade. "Anything for you?"</p><p>"I ran into that magma bastard, so a few burns, but not much else."</p><p>Tubbo nodded. "I should be able to patch those up. Sit down, let's talk about what happens now."</p><p>A few minutes later, and somber acceptance had seeped into the hybrid's faces. "So, we won't be able to go back? To our parents, I mean."</p><p>"Yeah." To his credit, Tommy looked both uncomfortable and regretful, do at least he wasn't enjoying it either. "There are too many bad guys on the hero's teams, and if we go now then they're sure to nab us again, and I assume security won't be so lax the third round."</p><p>The sound of cause ripping was the only sound as Tubbo tied off the bandaids. "That makes sense. So, what... What happens now? Where do we go from here?"</p><p>"I want to stick together." Came out of the dirty blonde's mouth before he could stop it. "You guys are strong, and I don't think we'll survive on our own anyways."</p><p>"He has a point." Sapnap nodded. "Plus, we're friends now! I'm not leaving either of you behind."</p><p>Rubbo's smile was small and shaky, but it slowly filled with determination for the second time that day. "Well then, I guess it's been decided."</p><p>"That doesn't mean we can't talk to them at all." When the two looked at him confused, he sighed. "Sit down, it's time for me to tell you about the wonderful world of vigilantes."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The bittersweet release of forgetting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sapnap does something that he never wanted to do.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Toms! Get ready, we're going out!" Tubbo's voice echoed throughout the apartment, and the echoed <em>ok, got it</em> was his response. The three boys had been living in the apartment for a while now, Sapnap and Tubbo both kept track of their ages and birthdays, so the three were all around fifteen and sixteen. </p><p>Ever since the boys were eight, they had lived in the same old place, living off of the kindness of the woman named Clementine. Tommy once told her that if he'd ever gotten a pet, he'd name it after her, to which she chuckled and smiled.</p><p>Clementine was a kind old woman. </p><p>Tommy didn't like talking to her.</p><p>"Tommy?"</p><p>"Coming!" Tommy raced down the steps, suited in his vigilante costume.</p><p>"Alright. Aries, Eudaemon, are you two ready?" Tommy looked at the two. Sapnap had his blaze powers at the ready, his hands and below the knees were disconnected from the rest of his body and floated above where they should've been, a homage to his blaze heritage. Two flaming horns sat atop his head and his eyes were a blank white, his costume was made mostly of a black, although some blue lines had been stitched in.</p><p>Those were homages to his parents.</p><p>Tubbo's costume was also completely black, a simple turtleneck, pants, and black gloves combo with tall combat boots to finish off the look with some silver minor accessories.</p><p>Tommy had the simplest costume out of the three, he was also decked out in full black with a red highlights on some places.</p><p>They put on their masks and jumped out the windows, ready to start the patrol.</p><p>"Ready as I'll ever be, Atlas."</p><p> </p><p>"Get back here!" Willow, the mind control hero was chasing after them with a few other heroes trailing behind ever so slightly. The trio of boys sped past the buildings, huffing and laughing.</p><p>"No thanks!" Tommy leapt past a noodle shop. "Sorry big guy!"</p><p>Willow pulled down his own mask and let power flow into his words. "<em>Come here."</em></p><p>They stopped, fog overtaking their senses. Well, two of theirs, at least. Tommy pretended to go slack and slowly shuffled over to the man, a glazed over look in his eyes. The hero grinned and sighed, clearly out of breath. "Fucking finally. If all I had to do was mind control you, I'd have done it years ago." A piglin hybrid and a bird hybrid rounded the corner. "Where are they-"</p><p>"The troublemakers are right here. Can't believe it took so long to catch these little upstarts."</p><p>"Yeah. Poor kids, though." Philza frowned. "I wonder why they did it." He reached out to slip the mask off of Tommy's face when-</p><p>-his hand was slapped away.</p><p>"Wh-"</p><p>"Sorry, but you can't catch us right now. If that happens, then everything we're working towards will topple, and we'll just be in danger again."  He grabbed his friend's hands and sped off, mentally thanking Tubbo for creating speed-enhanced boots. Philza let go with a yelp, and Blade took no time in chasing after the two.</p><p>"C'mere."</p><p>"Shit-" Tommy survayed his options. "Shit, shit, shit, what do I do-"</p><p>"What's happening?"</p><p>"Willow got you guys, now the Blade is coming after us!"</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>!"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>Sapnap turned to Tommy. "I'm gonna fireball 'em!"</p><p>"Whatever, just don't kill him!"</p><p>"That I can do!" He turned and shot a few blasts to the hero hot on their trail. The smoke caused him to pause and cough, giving them enough time to make their getaway.</p><p>After a few moments, Tubbo wheezed. "T-That was..."</p><p>"Fucking terrifying?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Sapnap straight up cackled. "It was fun though, no?"</p><p>"Oh, it was fun as hell to torment those old men." Tommy intercepted. "But we gotta get back to patrol. Maybe somewhere where there won't be those assholes?"</p><p>"Good idea."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Philza watched his son trudge back to the other heroes pissed. Bad and Skeppy ran to the other two. "What happened?"</p><p>"We found the trio again today. They managed to get out, but not without saying something... concerning."</p><p>Bad's dad instictinsticts kicked in. "What happened? Are the boys in danger?"</p><p>"Not yet, apparently. Atlas said something about everything they're working towards would be falling, and that they'd be in danger again."</p><p>"Again?"</p><p>"I don't know." The winged hero looked at where the kids ran off, a regretful glint in his eye. "I wish I did."</p><p>He turned to his comrades. "Everyone, I want you to split up and look for the vigilantes!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Let's split, the heroes are probably searching for us right now."</p><p>"Good idea. Meet me back at home base in...." Tubbo pondered. "Does four hours seem good?"</p><p>"Perfect."</p><p>"Great. Eudae?"</p><p>"Good with me."</p><p>"Well then-" Tubbo smiled. "Get back home safe. Love you two."</p><p>"Love ya, bro!"</p><p>"...Love you. Bye, Aries!"</p><p>Tubbo nodded and took off. The two boys watched their brother figure hop away, and dashed the oposite ways.</p><p>Crime wasn't in just one spot, after all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sapnap leapt past buildings and laughed loudly. It was a great night, and he was just feelin' good. The wind on his hair, being able to use his blaze demon power to turn into this cool ass form, it was INCREDIBLY Gucci.</p><p>That is, until he saw them.</p><p>Skeppy and Bad were patrolling, presumably looking for him. </p><p>
  <em>Damnit, damnit, damnit, why them!? I don't wanna hurt my parents.</em>
</p><p>He looked around desperately before climbing to a taller building. Would they be able to see him from here?</p><p>....Guess it was time to find out.</p><p>After a couple of minutes of nothing, he curled up, tucked his knees to his chest, and really <em>thought</em>.</p><p>When was the last time he had a conversation with them? When was the last time he was just able to talk to his dads without them trying to catch them? </p><p>Was he a bad son?</p><p>He curled up further and further, his head dropped down. The sounds of Skeppy's boots were far, but they were getting closer the more that the minutes ticked by.</p><p>He sat up and stretched, still in a bit of a headset when-</p><p>"Gotcha!"</p><p>-Bad grabbed him. He didn't even notice the man's stealthy footsteps. But since it was an accident, and Sapnap was still not shaken out of his mindset, he said something that he'd regret later.</p><p>"Papa, stop it-"</p><p>Everything went quiet. Everyone went quiet.</p><p>Bad looked horrified at himself, and yet hopeful that his little boy might just be alive. Skeppy looked like he was still trying to process the words.</p><p>"S-Sappy...?"</p><p>Sapnap, terrified at the prospect of being found out, broke out of his father's hold.</p><p>"Wait, Sappy, is that really you?" Bad looked so desperate for it to be his son, for even a sliver of a chance for him to be his baby boy-</p><p>Spanap teared up and held out his hands slowly. He didn't care anymore about finding out. It was just something he had to accept that they knew. Plus... Maybe he wanted his dads back, too. "I-It's me." His voice quivered. "Hi, papa."</p><p>Bad immediately engulfed him in a tight embrace, arms shaking and tears dripping down his cheeks. "O-Oh, oh my muffin, Sappy, I missed you so-"</p><p>"Sappy?" Skeppy joined in their embrace. He was laughing and crying, little hopeful laughs. It was nice. "Holy shit, Sap, we thought we'd lost you for good." Bad didn't bother correcting him, too held up in embracing his boy.</p><p>"I'm sorry...!" Sapnap held on tighter, because in the end... it didn't really matter how much he wanted his dad and his papa back. He'd get them back eventually, but now was quite possibly the worst time for them to find out.</p><p>The darts filled with what Tubbo had dubbed "brain-forgetty-juice" sat heavy in his pockets. Tommy and Tubbo were both paranoid about someone ever finding out, and then made those.</p><p>Sapnap soaked in the embrace, knowing that it wouldn't last.</p><p>Nothing good ever did.</p><p>So, as he reached into his pocket to fish out the syringes, he sniffled. He was crying for two different reasons now.</p><p>You see, Sapnap knew what he had to do, but didn't know if he had the strength to do it.</p><p>"Papa?"</p><p>"What's up, Sappy?"</p><p>"You aren't supposed to know that I'm... here?" He trailed off. "You aren't supposed to know that I'm around. Not yet."</p><p>"Eh?"</p><p>Sapnap sighed. "You aren't supposed to know that I'm alive yet, papa. You too, dad."</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean...?" Bad looked confused, and slightly hurt. "But Sappy... Why?"</p><p>"No one can know yet, papa. It puts me and my friends in too much danger."</p><p>Bad bristled, but not at his boy. "Who's endangering you?'</p><p>"You can't know that get, papa. A lot of things are going to happen soon, and that's... That's when I can come home, alright? We can do stupid stuff that we missed out on." He let out a soft chuckle. "Bake cakes, see crappy movies, talk about boys- uh, I'm gay by the way, but I don't think that's gonna be a problem with you for obvious reasons." Sapnap discreetly looked at his papa's husband. "But papa, you can't know yet, and that makes me feel really bad for what I'm about to do."</p><p>"Do wha-" The syringe was jabbed into his neck, and he stumbled back. Skeppy reached out, only to be injected as well. Sapnap shook. </p><p>"S-Sappy...? Why?" Bad was crying again.</p><p>"Don't worry papa, it's not gonna hurt you, ok? You-" Sapnap's voice cracked. "You're gonna be fine, you just won't remember. Its too risky for you to know right now."</p><p>"Oh." Bad looked at his son, and gave him a weak smile. "I understand."</p><p>Sapnap's hand shook as he reached up and clamped down on the soft fabric of his mask. Bad gasped slightly as his mask was pulled down to show a quivering smile. "I'll come back, ok? This isn't a 'You can't know I'm your son ever,' it's a 'you can't know I'm your son yet'. Sapnap motioned his father to bend down, never quite getting over the fact that his papa was ten feet tall. When his forehead was in front of sapnap, he kissed it softly and hugged his father one more time. "I'm sorry it had to turn out this way."</p><p>"It's... Alright." Bad's eyes slowly fluttered shut. "When... When we meet again, and you're safe.... Can we... Do all those things?" </p><p>"That sounds great." Sapnap was crying harder. "That sounds great."</p><p>Bad smiled. "You promise, ya little muffin..?"</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>Bad shut his eyes and didn't open them, his voice a whisper from being dragged to sleep. "I love you, Sappy."</p><p>"Love you too, papa. To the moon and back."</p><p>Bad did not respond.</p><p>Sapnap lifted his mask back up and leapt away.</p><p>Crime... Crime wasn't in just one spot, after all.</p><p>(He felt regret settle heavy on his back.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Small trippable objects become public enemy number one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sapnap trips and falls lmao</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubo tightened Tommy's tie. "God, I still can't believe we're doing this."</p><p>"It's the only way, Tubs." Sapnap was draped lazily over their ratty couch. "We're too tight on money, and all the other places rejected us."</p><p>"I know, but..." He sighed. "It's dangerous. Yes, if we do this right, then we'll get a lot of money from a constant source, but if it doesn't then everything comes crashing down." He rubbed his horns slightly, a nervous habit that stemmed from sleepless nights. "I can't get an in person job, Sap might risk getting recognised if the forget-juice didn't work. You're our last hope."</p><p>Tommy nodded. "I'll be safe, alright? We can get money and stop living in this one-room shitty apartment with cheap ramen and water collected in public drinking fountains." He tapped his finger to his mouth. "How about we get some nice takeout for dinner? To celebrate?"</p><p>"Are you sure we can afford that?"</p><p>"Aye, Big man, don't even worry about it." Tommy puffed out his chest. "We'll eat real good soon if I manage to land this job."</p><p>"...Well, yes, but-"</p><p>"Tubbo. I can do this. I am Tommy, I'm like..." He screwed up his face. "98% sure tthat nothing will go wrong. Maybe."</p><p>Tubbo shook his head. "You're crazy. But... I have faith." He grabbed his broken down laptop and tapped on it once more. "Alright, all I need now is a power, or a hybrid."</p><p>Tommy summoned his deck and laid it all out. Raising his hand, he swiped one.</p><p>... What?</p><p>Big fuzzy cat ears sprouted from his head, and a blonde tail lashed behind him. His teeth felt slightly sharper, and his hands had pads on them. </p><p>He looked down at his card in horror. The words <em>cat hybrid</em> with a paw picture stared back.</p><p>"Oh fuck this." Sapnap cackled like a madman. "Holy shit- you- you're a fucking catboy-"</p><p>"Oh, shut it Sap." Tubbo typed it in. "Won't it be hard to keep that up though? Didn't you say your power only works for like, thirty minutes?"</p><p>"That's when I purposefully cut the time. When I don't stop it, I think it can last up to about two to three days."</p><p>"Oh." Tubbo blinked. "Well then I guess we don't have to worry about that."</p><p>"Great. Am I all good to go?"</p><p>"Stop just brushing this off!" Tubbo hissed venomously. "This is big! Huge!"</p><p>"That's what she s-" Tommy wheezed as he was punched in the stomach.</p><p>The ram hybrid shook his head angrily. "Am I the only one taking this seriously!?"</p><p>"Now you're getting it."</p><p>"I-"  Tubbo looked like he was having a particularly rough time. "-cannot believe you." Turning to his blonde friend, he hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. "Text me when you get out or if anything went wrong."</p><p>"I know. I'm just risky, not stupid."</p><p>"...eh..." Tubbo shook his hand in a so-so sort of motion. "Whatever you say."</p><p>"<em>Tubbo!"</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A teen pretending to be a man sat in the office, waiting to be called up. Heroes milled through the headquarters, some going up and talking to potential employees while others sat back and silently watched. It was only slightly unnerving for the boy, because right now he was not Tommy or Theseus.</p><p>His name was Thomas Smith who was an eighteen year old half cat hybrid.</p><p>Yeah, this was going to be and Experience™.</p><p>Then someone approached him, and he immediately was Buckled and Ready to Go. It was the mind control hero, Whisper, civillain name Wilbur.</p><p>He was not at all Buckled and Ready to Go anymore.</p><p>"Hey there."</p><p>"Hello." They sat in awkward silence for a minute, both unused to talking to strangers. "So, what's your name?"</p><p>"I'm Thomas Smith. You're Whisper?"</p><p>"Sure am! Although I'm out of uniform right now, so call me Wilbur."</p><p>Holy shit. A top ranking hero just. Gave him. The ability to use. His real name. He nodded carefully. "Then I'd prefer if you call me Tommy, everyone uses it."</p><p>
  <em>Nice!</em>
</p><p>Wilbur nodded, examining the boy. "How old are you?"</p><p>"Eighteen."</p><p>"And you're looking for a high profile job like this?" Wilbur tilted his head. "Kinda odd for a kid your age."</p><p>"With all due respect, I really need the money, and all the other places I was able to interview at didn't like hybrids." Wilbur winced. "I see. Sorry to hear about that."</p><p>"It's fine, just gets annoying sometimes."</p><p>The hero looked at him appraisingly. "I hate to change the topic, but what's your opinion on vigilantes?" He had gotten the same answers from all the other people trying to cater by saying something along the lines of <em>oh, they're horrible! I hope you catch them soon!</em> And prepared to hear the same spiel-</p><p>"They're useful." He snapped out of it. "Doesn't mean they should be excused, but they're useful."</p><p>Wilbur grinned. "Is that your final answer?"</p><p>The strange kid nodded sharply. "Yes."</p><p>The brunette chuckled. "I'm sure you'll do great things here, kid."</p><p>"You mean..."</p><p>"Welcome to the team, Tommy! A pleasure having you here."</p><p>The boy's slit pupils dilated, and a smile grew on his face with teeth a bit too sharp. "A pleasure being here."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He opened a groupchat.</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot Squad</strong>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I did it lads</p><p>Also who the fuck changed my name</p><p>Fire pun: :)</p><p>Tuberculosis: I couldn't stop him</p><p>Not like I was going to in the first place, <em>Sapnap</em></p><p>Fire pun: :(</p><p>Tuberculosis: suffer</p><p>BUT</p><p>TOMMY!!</p><p>Meow mix mascot: Tubbo</p><p>Fire pun: congrats dude</p><p>What was it like</p><p>Meow mix mascot: hell but with water coolers and the fucking Blade staring me down the entire time</p><p>Fire pun: yikes</p><p>Meow mix mascot: anyways </p><p>Whisper interviewed me</p><p>Tuberculosis: yikes</p><p>Meow mix mascot: yeah</p><p>He asked me what my opinion on vigilantes was</p><p>Tuberculosis: y i k e s</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I told him that they did some good shit </p><p>Tuberculosis: Y I K E S</p><p>Meow mix mascot: is there anything in your vocab other then yikes</p><p>Tuberculosis: look at my name that I gave myself from my own vocabulary</p><p>Fire pun: woah there Jamal no need to act a fool</p><p>Tuberculosis: woah there Jamal no need to act like you know what any words with more then three syllables mean</p><p>Fire pun: </p><p>Meow mix mascot: get bent you fucking walnut</p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot has changed fire pun's name to Court jester</em>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: do a little dance for us court jester</p><p>Court jester: sleep with one eye open Thomas Smith</p><p>Meow mix mascot: too late you can't threaten me anymore</p><p>You've lost all street cred</p><p>Court jester: shut up nerd</p><p>Meow mix mascot: BAHAHAHA </p><p>That's your best response? Bitch</p><p>Court jester: I can and will eat your knees </p><p>Tuberculosis: everyone knows that Tommy traded his knees for ratty emo clothing on the streets eleven years ago</p><p>Court jester: BFVDJSVSJSSVS GET HIS ASS TUBBO</p><p>Meow mix: this implies that I was out on the streets when I was like three Tubbo wtf</p><p>Court jester: none of us know your super mysterious past bro</p><p>Bro tell us your tragic anime backstory</p><p>Meow mix mascot: it all started when I was born</p><p>Both my mother and father failed to show up</p><p>Court jester: lmao relatable my mother never showed up to my conception</p><p>Meow mix mascot: OK WE GET IT YOU WERE LAID IN AN EGG</p><p>By your weirly tall dad who I don't even know how he laid an egg</p><p>Tuberculosis: this brings me to a terrifying conclusion if Badboyhalo laid you</p><p>Your other bio dad is uhh Skeppy right</p><p>Court jester: yeah?</p><p>Tuberculosis: eggs have to be fertilized sap</p><p>Court jester: ??????</p><p>Meow mix mascot: bad is a fucking bottom bro</p><p>Court jester: OH EW I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT</p><p>how would that even work </p><p>Skeppy's like 2'2 and bad is over ten feet tall</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I don't wanna know the technicals of your old men having sex dude</p><p>Tuberculosis: I hate to be That Person but what if he's a switch???</p><p>Court jester: stop stop stop this is giving me Bad Mental Images</p><p>Meow mix mascot: suffer for us, court jester</p><p>Court jester: sobs loudly</p><p>Meow mix mascot: yes this is adequate</p><p>Tuberculosis: how did the convo go from Tommy getting a job to Sapnap's parents having gay sex</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I don't even know anymore but I think sapnap is actually crying so I'm not really complaining</p><p>Court jester: you just live to see me suffer</p><p>Meow mix mascot: yes </p><p>Tuberculosis: looks into the camera like in the office</p><p>This is my life</p><p>Meow mix mascot: you should be damn delightled you get to know us</p><p>Tuberculosis: knowing you is like knowing the sleep paralysis demon I have</p><p>I know you're there and you don't leave no matter how hard I try</p><p>Meow mix mascot: thanks bitch</p><p>Anyways I'm on my way home rn</p><p>Court jester: great</p><p>What are we eating tonight</p><p>Meow mix mascot: pizza, no questions</p><p>Tuberculosis: sigh</p><p>Court jester: PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA</p><p>Tuberculosis: I'm getting cheese</p><p>Court jester: this pleases the court</p><p>Meow mix mascot: this pleases the court</p><p>Tuberculosis: please never contact me in any way shape or form ever again xoxo</p><p>Meow mix mascot: anyways I'm on my way home rn</p><p>Tuberculosis: insufferable parasite</p><p>Stay safe</p><p>Meow mix mascot: shhh stop </p><p>Sapnap doesn't know big words</p><p>Court Jester: listen up you fuckhxss</p><p>Bthsvsjsywcq abaj,:</p><p>Meow mix mascot: ??</p><p>Tuberculosis: he tripped and fell</p><p>Meow mix mascot: incredible</p><p>See ya</p><p>Tuberculosis: see you soon, Tommy</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter four, also known as SAPNAP HAS TWO GAY CRUSHES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sapnap is gay and is in love with two whole men</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Tommy hummed and clicked away on his computer. The first few days had been going fairly well, and as much as he craved the chaos that he normally brang, this could possibly be the main source of income for the boys.</p><p>Seeing so many small objects precariously places near ends of counters and tables but not being able to knock them off was torture, he decided. Being a half cat hybrid was incredibly torturous, he also decided. He dreaded the day that someone would put a cucumber behind him at lunch just to see how he'd react.</p><p>He beloved 100% that it would happen, because he was soon to find that everyone is this damned office was either an absolute idiot, or didn't care about the idiots. It didn't deter them from their work of course, but the day that Tommy had seen Wilbur walk in, several bananas taped to his head with teary eyes and he had proclaimed that god was real, it was getting harder and harder to believe that maybe he wasn't the most mature here.</p><p>That was saying quite a lot, considering he was himself.</p><p>The absolute bullshit cherry on the top of the cake of bullshit though, is that he had gotten more cat-like features then what he's originally seen the first time he'd shifted. When he had his "work persona" on (he had refused to call it his "catboy outfit", much to the dismay of Sapnap) his hands turned more into paws with pads, and his pupils were slits that dilated and shrunk much like a cat's. Another thing was that when he fell, he always fell on his feet with the reciol and damage reducing greatly. That was one thing he really liked. He could see in the dark, and his eyes were reflective. He could hear better, smell better, and he had the forbidden knowledge of what water tasted like now.</p><p>So, maybe his cat form wasn't so bad...</p><p>He hummed, sharp nails clicking away on his computer. Yeah, maybe this would be a good thing.</p><p>...He just jinxed it, didn't he?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Tommy!"</p><p>He looked up. "Hm?"</p><p>Wilbur and the Blade stood there, both grinning and holding something behind their backs, although it was difficult to tell when the piglin was emoting. "We have something for you."</p><p>"...Ok?" Tommy spoke hesitantly, absolutely not trusting them at all. "What is it?"</p><p>They looked at each other before Wilbur shook his head. "A-actually, nevermind-"</p><p>"No, no, show me. I'm sure I'll be incredibly delighted by whatever you manage to offer me." He said, a dangerous amount of sarcasm in his voice.</p><p>"It's-It's nothing, Tommy-"</p><p>"Do I have to get it myself?" The two brothers looked at each other. The blade blinked, turned around, and left. "You're on your own, Wil."</p><p>"Eh- Wait no!"</p><p>"<em>Wilbur</em>." Tommy looked at him,  and suddenly understood how Tubbo felt every time he and Sapnap were on their bullshit.</p><p>He only felt slightly bad.</p><p>"You can give it to me, because I'm assuming it will be <em>professional</em> and <em>not a prank</em> and <em>appropriate</em> <em>for the office,</em> yes?" Wilbur looked <em>very</em> close to breaking, shaking with suppressed giggles.</p><p>"M-Maybe..."</p><p>"Wilbur."</p><p>"Tommy."</p><p>"Wilbur, what did you do?"</p><p>After a few moments of hesitation, the man slowly brought something from behind his back, smile wide.</p><p>At the same time, Tommy decided that he was going to kill this motherfucker, quit, and then rob the place. </p><p><em>This man,</em> he thought, <em>this stupid finger twiddling bastard.</em></p><p>"Do you not like it? I got-" He giggled. "I got it just for you."</p><p>In his hands was a blue cat collar, complete with a large golden bell in the middle. </p><p>"You <em>bastard</em>-"</p><p>Wilbur dissolved into stutters and loud laughter, dropping the collar to the floor. "I- I can-"</p><p>"<em>Wilbur you motherfucker-"</em></p><p>The man only laughed harder. "Y-You're the resident cat, so I t-thought that y-you should get a collar!"</p><p>This was a horrible day. An absolutely awful day. And Wilbur, poor, poor Wilbur, didn't know that offering the new employee a collar pushed him over the edge. Tommy reachedvout his padded hands, lightning quick, and five minutes later, the brunette man walked out of his employee's office, bell in his mouth effectively gagging him while his arms were did behind his back with the surprisingly long collar. There were several cat scratches on him.</p><p>"So, how-" Techno stared at his brother, words cutting off as he took in the man's appearance. His eyebrows raised. "I take it he didn't like the gift?"</p><p>Wilbur spit out the bell, eternally grateful that there was no one else in the office but the three at the moment. "Yeah. Maybe it's because the quality of the collar was bad? Maybe he doesn't like blue?"</p><p>"See if you can offer him a red one in the future."</p><p>"Good idea."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The Sex Havers</strong>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: who changed the name</p><p>I mean I know who it was but I want sapnap to say it</p><p>Court jester: sigh</p><p>(Does a little dance) </p><p>Meow mix mascot: not what I was asking for but go off I guess</p><p>Court jester: shhhhhhhhh I'm poppin off</p><p>Meow mix mascot: </p><p>Tuberculosis: </p><p>Court jester: sigh</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I actually can't wait for the day that I can punt you off a cliff</p><p> Court jester: Tommy just always makes me feel so welcome &lt;3 </p><p>Meow mix mascot: death.</p><p>Tuberculosis: I am so tired of the both of you</p><p>Meow mix mascot: cool, guess what happened at work today</p><p>Court jester: owo?</p><p>
  <em>Court jester has been removed from the group.</em>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: anyways</p><p>Tuberculosis: Tommy.</p><p>Meow mix mascot: Tubbo.</p><p>
  <em>Court jester has been added to the group.</em>
</p><p>Court jester: Sapanp!</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I am this close</p><p>Tuberculosis: OK SO tommy what happened at work</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I fucking hate my bosses</p><p>GUESS WHAT THEY DID</p><p>Tuberculosis: ?</p><p>Meow mix mascot: THEY TRIED TO GIVE ME A BLOODY COLLAR</p><p>Court jester: GHSGAHSCSJSVSHS WHAT</p><p>Meow mix mascot: THW WHISPER TRIED TO GIVE ME A BLUE COLLAR WITH A BELL ON IT </p><p>Tuberculosis: I thought we signed you up for a job at a respectable office????? Why are you working at the circus</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I would like to quit</p><p>Tuberculosis: denied</p><p>Meow mix mascot: fuck</p><p>Court jester: I'm having the best day of my life</p><p>Tuberculosis: oh really?</p><p>Court jester: nvm I don't like that</p><p>Tuberculosis: hey tommy guess what</p><p>Meow mix mascot: ?</p><p>Court jester: ?</p><p>Tuberculosis: so me and sap were out shopping today</p><p>Court jester: WAIT NONONO DONT TELL HIM</p><p>Meow mix mascot: continue</p><p>Tuberculosis: and he saw these two boys that were cute, apparently</p><p>Court jester: they were fucking ethereal, beyond beauty and grace and they were so attractive beyond words, get it right</p><p>Meow mix mascot: look at this simp</p><p>Tuberculosis: sapnap one of them was in a onsie and the other one was drinking straight up five energy in a big gulp</p><p>Court jester: men after my heart</p><p>Meow mix mascot: <em>look at this simp</em></p><p>Tuberculosis: looking</p><p>Anyways, like the disaster he goes up to flirt with them</p><p>Meow mix mascot: oh god</p><p>Tuberculosis: WAIT I FORGOT</p><p>WE WERE ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND THE STAIRS WERE WET</p><p>Meow mix mascot: oh? OH?</p><p>Court jester: ok tubbo you can stop here haha</p><p>Tuberculosis: and so he does the wall leany thing while he tries to flirt</p><p>Meow mix mascot: OH??????</p><p>Tuberculosis: AND HE SLIPS</p><p>Meow mix mascot: THERE IT IS</p><p>Tuberculosis: BUT IM NOT DONE</p><p>Meow mix mascot: THERE'S MORE????</p><p>Tuberculosis: YES</p><p>AND SO HE GETS CAUGHT BY BOTH OF THE GUYS</p><p>Meow mix mascot: cliché but continue</p><p>Tuberculosis: and at the same fucking time they go "looks like you fell for us" one of them added a cutie at the end</p><p>Court jester: dbsgsvsgsgs I wanted to k i s s </p><p>Meow mix mascot: disgusting</p><p>Tuberculosis: but it gets better</p><p>He slips again and falls down the stairs</p><p>Meow mix mascot: HAHAHAHA</p><p>Court jester: YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT TELL HIM</p><p>Tuberculosis: I lied</p><p>And so he falls down the stairs </p><p>Meow mix mascot: smooth</p><p>Court jester: shut UP TOMMY</p><p>Meow mix mascot: FUCK OFF SAPNAP anyways tubbo what happened next</p><p>Tuberculosis: I'm so glad you asked</p><p>So he looks up at them and he has a bloody nose because he fell on his face and he's like "I'm sorry!" And the one with black hair goes "its alright, it just makes you look rugged and handsome!" And sapnap stutters, gets up, yells "thanks!" And runs away</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I-</p><p>YOU RAN AWAY????</p><p>Court jester: YES??? EHAT WWAS I SUPPOSWD TO DO</p><p>Meow mix mascot: talk to them like a normal person????</p><p>Wait did you even get their numbers</p><p>Court jester: ,,,,,,,</p><p>Meow mix mascot: spectacular</p><p>Court jester: shut</p><p>Tuberculosis: I'm sure we'll find them again!</p><p>Court jester: thank you tubbo, you're so full of optimism</p><p>Meow mix mascot: can we get an f in the chat for sapnap being single forever</p><p>Tuberculosis: f</p><p>Court jester: :(</p><p>Meow mix mascot: die mad about it</p><p>WAIT</p><p>hold on </p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot has changed the chat name!</em>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: its perfect</p><p>Court jester: wait what's it say</p><p>Tuberculosis: DJEVSJSVSH TOMMY OH MY GOD</p><p>Court jester: what's it SAY</p><p>Tuberculosis: it says " the sex havers (+sapanp)"</p><p>Court jester: TOMNY YOU ASSHOLE THOSE WERE THE LOVES OF MY LIFE</p><p>Meow mix mascot: die mad about it</p><p>Court jester: get back home immediately so I can kick your ass, I talked to TWO WHOLE pretty boys by myself</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I bet they weren't even that pretty</p><p>Court jester: THEY WERE</p><p>one of them has brown hair and he's beautiful and had a multicolored hoodie with a green swirl on the front and he had green eyes with little swirl pupils and little freckles and the other who was ALSO unfairly pretty had a beanie on and a little hair was poking out of it and he had really pretty brown black eyes and he had duck wings and he also had dimples AND THEY WERE BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND THE BROWN HAIRED ONE DID A LITTLE GIGGLE AT ME AND IT WAS SO ADORABLE AND THEN THE BEANIE ONE WINKWD AT ME AND HAD SUCH A HOT VOICE AND DJDVSHSVSJS</p><p>Meow mix mascot: wow. Stalker</p><p>Court jester: IM NOT A STALKER THEY JUST WERE SO BEAUTIFUL AND IM JUST OVWR HERE WITH A BLOODY NOSE AND A HEADBAND</p><p>Meow mix mascot: is this what a gay panic looks like</p><p>Tuberculosis: yes</p><p>Meow mix mascot: incredible</p><p>Court jester: I want to marry them so hard</p><p>Meow mix mascot: thsibdvddh</p><p>"Ah! I'm so sorry!" A man held his hand out. "I didn't mean to bump into you!" </p><p>"It's fine." The man had hazelnut hair, and someone trailed after him. Tommy realized two whole things right then and there:</p><p>The man trailing after him had duck wings and a beanie.</p><p>The man who helped him up had a multicolor hoodie and green eyes with swirls in them.</p><p>He made a third realisation a few moments later</p><p>These are probably the guys that his roommate had been ranting about for the past half hour.</p><p>"Hey, I don't mean to pry but-" Tommy brushed off his hoodie. "- Did you guys see a guy with a white meadband who flirted with you, fell down some stairs and then ran off? I'm Tommy by the way."</p><p>Brown hair blinked before a huge smile come over his face. "Yes! Do you know him?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>Beanie guy cut in. "He was so hot! Karl, why'd we let him get away?" He turned to Tommy. "When you see him, tell him that I think he's really fucking hot!"</p><p>"I think he's also unfairly attractive."</p><p>"He had muscles for days dude, but not too many. You think he had a six pack!?" </p><p>Tommy cleared his throat. "What's your names?"</p><p>Brown hair looked up. "Ah, I'm Karl, and this-" he festered to his friend. "-Is Quackity!"</p><p>"Hi! Does your friend have abs?"</p><p><em>Simps are scary.</em> "Yeah? His name is Sapnap, by the way."</p><p>Quackity sighed. "Sapnap... That's a pretty name."</p><p>"It is." Karl nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing. "Can you tell him we said hi?"</p><p>"Tell him that we want to fuck him, Tommy!" Karl choked. "<em>Don't do that part! I-I mean I'm not denying, but-"</em></p><p>"Oh, but I think I will, big man!" Tommy grabbed his phone. "Wait, can I get a picture with you two? I want to brag later."</p><p>"Sure?"</p><p>After a quick photo, Tommy sped back to the apartment with the full intention to tell Sapnap that they wanted to have sex with him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The sex havers (+sapnap)</strong>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: hey guys guess what</p><p>Court jester: what</p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot has sent one image!</em>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: these your mans?</p><p>Court jester: WHAT</p><p>YOU FOUND THEM</p><p>CAN YOU GIVE ME THEIR NUMBER</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I already left</p><p>Court jester: FUCK</p><p>Meow mix mascot: hey sapnap I'm almost home guess what</p><p>Hey sapnap</p><p>Court jester: what???</p><p>Meow mix mascot: they asked me if you had abs and I said yes because you do have abs and they fucking melted</p><p>Court jester: WHAT</p><p>AAAA WHAT????</p><p>Meow mix mascot: they're in love with you big man</p><p>Court jester: AAAAAAAAA IM IN LOVE WITH THEM SO BAD</p><p>Meow mix mascot: k</p><p>Oh I got their names btw</p><p>Court jester: spill</p><p>Meow mix mascot: the one with duck wings is Quackity, the one with brown hair is Karl</p><p>Court jester: ,,,,,they are so lovely ughhh they have such pretty names</p><p>Meow mix mascot: that's how they reacted when I told them about your name</p><p>They were all "ah that's such a pretty name" </p><p>Court jester: really???</p><p>Meow mix mascot: yeah</p><p>Court jester: hsvshsdvshsvzhsbs they think my name is pretttyyyyy</p><p>Meow mix mascot: I'm also about to say something but you need to mentally prepare for it</p><p>Court jester: alright im mentally prepared</p><p>Meow mix mascot: ok so they said that they wanted to have sex with you</p><p>Court jester:</p><p>Meow mix mascot: well technically Quackity yelled that he wanted to fucl you and then Karl was like "well I'm not denying it but don't tell him" so he wants to have sex with you too</p><p>Court jester: h</p><p>Meow mix mascot: how do you feel</p><p>Court jester: they </p><p>They said</p><p>They</p><p>Meow mix mascot: yes</p><p>Court jester: the prettiest men on the fucking planet</p><p>Meow mix mascot: besides me</p><p>Oh also quackity wanted me to tell you that he thinks you're really fucking hot and Karl said you were unfairly attractive</p><p>Court jester: they</p><p>Meow mix mascot: YES THEY SAID THAT NOW STOP SAYING THEY-THEY-THEY UH THEY- OVER AND OVER</p><p>Court jester: I physically cannot</p><p>Hhhhhhhhhhh I need to go</p><p>Meow mix mascot: bye </p><p>Tuberculosis: that was a disaster</p><p>Meow mix mascot: oh hey tubbo</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>GUYS I HAVE A BURNING QUESTION how was yall's days</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Secrets can rot people from the inside out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Uh oh! We're getting serious now</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm home." Tommy tossed his coat on the floor and slumped over the couch. "Where's Sapnap?"</p><p>Tubbo sighed. "Being gay."</p><p>"Oh god."</p><p>The brown haired boy nodded. "You shouldn't have told him about any of that stuff."</p><p>Tommy blinked. "But it was funny."</p><p>Hooves clicked on the ground as Tubbo went up to his best friend. "He burned two pillows and one of the walls."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Yeah. Go talk to him." Slit, catlike pupils stared into goat-esque ones before his friend simply picked him up and dropped him in front of the room. Tommy continuously forgot that under his friend's soft green plaid, he was built like a brick shithouse.</p><p>A <em>strong</em> brick shithouse. The guy was not lithe by any means.</p><p>The blonde sighed, his cat ears pulled back in irritation. "Oi, Sapnap, I'm coming in!"</p><p>The noise that greeted him sounded nothing less of a horse dying. It fit him, in a sort of weird way, Tommy thought. His friend was curled up at the head of the mattress, hair flaming.</p><p>"Hey dipshit, you're going to burn the place down. Calm yourself..." He pondered before grabbing a half eaten veggie off the night rest. "Here, have a carrot."</p><p>A verbal keysmash erupted from his friend's mouth once again. What? How is he doing that? How can one fit so many voice cracks into a single drawn out groan of gay agony?</p><p>The world may never know.</p><p>"Stop moaning weird and make human noises."</p><p>"Fuck you." Sapnap lifted his head up, and his hair died down.</p><p>"There he is!" Tommy spoke, fake enthusiasm seeping into his voice. "Wakey wakey Sapnap, time to fucking engage."</p><p>Tubbo leaned in the room. "Ah, he's out of it?"</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"Excellent." Tubbo grinned. "I have a job for you two."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Why are we here again?" Sapnap discreetly eyed his roommate, whispering. The blonde stared back. "Did you seriously forget?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"We're taking down a mafia group, dumbass!"</p><p>"Oh yeah."</p><p>"I- actually, you know what? Just be quiet. We have a job to do."</p><p>"Got it." The two sat in silence, watching the men below them talk.</p><p> </p><p>"And how much will you be shipping us, exactly?" A black haired man looked apathetically at the trembling man below him. "W-well sir, what were you thinking?"</p><p>"A metric tonne." The place went silent. The speaker for the drug dealers spoke. "A-A metric tonne?"</p><p>"That's what I said, yes. Did you not hear me the first, or are you simply incompetent?"</p><p>"Um, I heard you- it's just that I think it would take a bit to, uh, procure the stuff for you when you ask for that much."</p><p>"Oh? So that's a no, then."</p><p>"I'm sorry, it's-"</p><p>"The thing is, I actually don't do drugs." The place went silent again. "None of my team does. So, what else can you offer us?"</p><p>"Wh- um, drugs is all we do."</p><p>"All you do?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"I see." He shook his head lightly. "Well I suppose we can't have you and your little friends running around and taking advantage of people with addictions anymore."</p><p>A sleek pistol was removed from his coat and fired squarely into the drug dealer's representative. He gasped. "Y-you motherfucker-"</p><p>"God, even now you're all drugged up. I can see your eyes, that's what? Both weed and herion? I have no idea why they'd send someone who was clearly off his rocks to meet with the head of a mafia."</p><p>"I- I'll fuckin' kill ya-" The man stumbled. Was he drunk too? Probably.</p><p>Tommy didn't feel the need to intervene. Maybe it was the fact that the mafia boss was simply extremely pog. Maybe it's because it was frankly pathetic how the drugged up guy came in like that.</p><p>Maybe it was because the mafia man in a mask and hat looked oddly familiar. He couldn't place where for a moment, before-</p><p>
  <em>Oh shit, is that-</em>
</p><p>"Atlas, I think we should step in now." Sapnap stared.</p><p>"Eudaemon, trust me. Let these guys go. We can just tell Tubs we failed."</p><p>"...Alright. Let's just go."</p><p>They leapt away. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Uh..."</p><p>"...."</p><p>Tubbo stared at the two. "You're back early."</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>"Wanna tell me why?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>Tubbo sighed. "Did you not do it?"</p><p>"Y-Yup."</p><p>"It's alright." The boys looked up. "I was just testing you, I knew you wouldn't actually do it."</p><p>"Eh!?"</p><p>"I actually just wanted to get a read on the group. I've been working on these tiny little listening devices. Look in between you shoulder blades." The boys patted their backs before Tommy's hand came back with a tiny hexagon. "You stuck these to the back of our suits?"</p><p>"Yeah! They can listen in, have a built in camera, can record audio, and they can send out an SOS signal!"</p><p>"You managed to fit all of that-" Tommy made an exadurated hand movement. "-in this tiny thing?"</p><p>Tubbo nodded proudly, puffing out his chest. "Pretty cool, right?"</p><p>"That's bloody awesome, dude. How do you send out the signal?"</p><p>"Oh, you detatch it and press the button inside three times. It'll send the signal to me, but if I don't get there in twenty minutes then it send it to the nearest hero."</p><p>"Woah." Tommy stared. "Pog."</p><p>"The poggest, as you like to put it." Tommy chuckled while Sapnap was still examining the small device. "That's pretty cool, Tubbo." He spoke.</p><p>"Thank you guys. It took me a while to make it, so, yeah."</p><p>"I have a question about it, though."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>Sapnap stared. "Did you seep your bee obsession into the design?"</p><p>Tubbo looked away. "No, of course not." He said. You know, like a liar.</p><p>"Wait, is that why they're hexagons-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Alright guys, time for bed." Tubbo looked at his roommates. "You know the drill."</p><p>"What are we, five?"</p><p>"You might as well be, based on the the way you act. Constantly."</p><p>Tommy cackled. "Woah there big man, am I sensing salt?"</p><p>Sapnap looked at his comrade, batting his eyelashes. "Yeah, is that salt that I hear?"</p><p>"Shut up you... yee yee American." The black haired boy choked. "Yee yee-" </p><p>Tommy gleefully snatched his phone and tapped in the password. "That's your new name in the chat!"</p><p>Sapnap looked up. "You promise?"</p><p>"...Actually, you get to stay as Court Jester."</p><p>"Noooo-"</p><p>"Stop it you two. Am I the only mature one in this house?"</p><p>Tommy squinted at him. "You're not mature."</p><p>"Am too."</p><p>"You saw this guy that looked like he was on the verge of passing out from pure anxiety and slapped his ass."</p><p>Tubbo hesitated. "I... did do that."</p><p>"You are platonically married to this same man." Tommy squinted at him harder. "And then didn't invite me to your platonic wedding. The disrespect."</p><p>"I didn't even have a wedding though. Should I have?"</p><p>"Yes, absolutely. How will you show your love to him now?"</p><p>"My platonic love, mind you."</p><p>"Yeah yeah, that's what they all say. I'm going to sleep, supposed to be into work early tomorrow for some reason."</p><p>"Sleep well."</p><p>"And on the floor. I don't know why you do that, by the way."</p><p>"Long story, let's call it. Night."</p><p>"Night, Tommy."</p><p>"Sleep unwell, asshole."</p><p>"Thank you for your kind input, Sapnap." Tommy turned and made his way to the bathroom. It was a dingy old thing, some wallpaper peeling off, and cracks in the walls. He didn't particularly like it, but it was all they could afford.</p><p>He sighed. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So, you said you needed me early today?" Tommy looked at his boss, Wilbur. The chestnut haired man turned and grinned. "Ah, Tommy! I didn't even see you there! Come on in, and sorry for the cat collar thing I pulled."</p><p>"Are you apologising because you feel bad, or because someone told you to?"</p><p>"A little bit of both. Sit down." Tommy hesitantly slipped in the seat. "Hm?"</p><p>"Well, most heroes are actually going to be out for a mission." Tommy perked up. A mission?</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"Yeah. I can't tell you, but it requires quite a few of us. Unfortunately, that leaves some... problems." He paused.</p><p>"Well go on, then."</p><p>"You see, we've got a bit of important information in this building, mainly because it was being guarded by several high ranked heroes; now that we're leaving-"</p><p>"-It won't be guarded anymore." Wilbur nodded. "Yup. So, I've called up some heroes from a bit farther to come guard the place. We've actually got almost all the sensitive info in this building, so they don't really have any thing to protect over there."</p><p>"...Then why are you still acting like this is a problem? They come in and guard while you are all gone."</p><p>"There's gonna be two days where you'll be the only guy in here." Tommy blinked. What? "We can't push the mission back any further, but the heroes that are coming have to travel a bit."</p><p>"I see."</p><p>"Yeah..." It was jarring to see his usually cheerful supervisor so grim and serious, Tommy being used to the slightly snarky but upbeat mood of the man. He nodded. "Well then, if I just happened to have a solution to that problem, would you be ok with it?"</p><p>"A solution?"</p><p>"So I won't be alone for the two days. So I'll be protected, I mean."</p><p>"...By who? There aren't any heroes around that won't be coming."</p><p>"Now that-" He stood up, wary of the eyes on him. "-Is something I'm afraid I can't tell you." He turned and began to stalk out of the office. He heard the man's voice call out to him as he was about to leave.</p><p>"Why can't you tell me?"</p><p>
  <strike>(Dangerdangeryou'llbeindangerIalreadygottwopeopleIcareaboutindangerIcan'thaveyoutoo-)</strike>
</p><p>"We all have our secrets, don't we, Whisper?"</p><p>He slipped out.</p><p>(Wilbur stared at the closed door with no small amount or worry.</p><p>Techno and Phil needed to hear about this.)</p><p>As Tommy closed the door, his voice came out in a wobbly low tone. </p><p>"I just wish this secret would stop rotting me from the inside out."</p><p>(He thought that the chestnut haired man hadn't heard him.)</p><p>Whisper stared at the closed door with new concern.</p><p>(He wasn't known for his excellent hearing, but that didn't mean he didn't have it.)</p><p>He wrote a small note down to tell the rest of his family about his encounter.</p><p>Besides, what secret could be so bad?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Tommy is Not Ok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yeehaw let's trigger tommy<br/>Note: this chapter implies child r@pe and severe abuse. If you aren't ok with those subjects, just... try not to read this chapter.<br/>Thankk and  g o o d  l u c k</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm just worried for him, dad." Wilbur looks at the blonde man. "Things don't add up with him, and I feel like there's something behind the scenes going on. He's just so jumpy, and..."</p><p>"I know, Wil. Something is up with that boy, and it doesn't ail my worries with the fact that he just became an adult."</p><p>Techno piped up. "Just get someone to ask him, then. It's not that hard." His brother sighed. "It's more difficult then that and you know it."</p><p>"Easier to just force the answers out of Tommy."</p><p>"At what cost, Tech? That'll ruin his trust, and we don't need that."</p><p>Technoblade shrugged. "Fine, then."</p><p>Wilbur was silent for a moment. "I think there's something a lot bigger then what I think is going on behind the scenes."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"Might not seem like it, but I pride myself on being fairly observant." Wilbur looked far too uncomfortable for this to be a light topic. "He's jittery in hospital rooms, he doesn't like loud noises, sometimes his sleeve will ride up or his shirt and there are just- there's so many scars there, and I don't know if someone who had a perfectly normal childhood just happens to check off all the boxes for oh, I don't know, childhood abuse <em>or something?"</em></p><p>"Childhood abuse? That's a big accusation there, mate." Phil looked at his son worridly. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but if it really was something as that, then..."</p><p>"Yeah." Wilbur sighed, sounding far more tired then he should've been, and his father is temporarily reminded of how stressed his kid is. "Yeah, dad."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Whoever said it gets easier is a dirty fucking liar." His voice trembled.</p><p>Tommy did not want to be here. He desperately didn't want to be anywhere near here.</p><p>"Whoever said it gets easier probably never lost someone that was just too important, maybe."</p><p>A grave with a rotting body below it sat in front of him, and he felt sick.</p><p>"Hey there, Clem." He feels like he's dying. "I'm... I'm back."</p><p>Birds chirp throughout the forest and Tommy wishes he didn't remember what it was like to carry the corpse of someone who was good. He wished to remember anything but.</p><p>His sister's grave sat in front of him, and Tommy felt like he wanted to vomit. What do you say to someone who isn't there anymore?</p><p>"Things are hectic."</p><p>He took a deep breath.</p><p>(Behind him, a spirit of a girl is watching. She's bleeding badly from a hole in her stomach, and her dirty blonde hair falls in front of the sharp turquoise eyes she sports.</p><p>Clementine listens to her little brother and cries and holds him because she is not alive anymore, and she thinks that she was the worst big sister to exist.)</p><p>"So, lemme tell you all the bloody shit that's happened."</p><p>Tommy is shaking. The flowers he'd put down seemed like they were already wilting.</p><p>(I'm sorry, Theseus.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Here you go, I got you a bun this time. The baker was nice." Tommy placed a delicate looking honeyed bun on a napkin. "You like these, right?"</p><p>Sam chuckled. "Thank you, Tommy. You're a big help around here, I'm not sure what I'd do without you daily visits." The creeper hybrid was sat at his desk, tail waving lazily. He and Tommy had talked shortly after the boy had gotten hired and quickly taken a living to each other, Tommy was fascinated by the tech the centaur-creeper made, and Sam just enjoyed the blonde's excited rambling about his work.</p><p>"But of course! I am big man Tommy, after all." He waved a gloved hand. "Enjoy your bun, Big S. See you around."</p><p>"See you around, Tommy."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Tommy, would you see me in my office for a moment?" Wilbur was standing there, no trace of emotion on his face. "We have some things we need to discuss."</p><p>The blonde slowly got up. "...Sure."</p><p>"Good." They left.</p><p> </p><p>"So, uh, what's up?"</p><p>"Here, take a seat." The man offered him a chair and he shakily sat. He studied his bosses's face and noticed the shaky hands, the furrowed brows.</p><p>"Oh jeez, I'm not getting fired, am I?"</p><p>"Wh- oh, no! Not at all." </p><p>"Ah, good." Tommy sighed in relief which only prompted more hand fidgeting from the man across from him.</p><p>
  <em>Always expects the worst from me. Maybe because I'm an adult? Does he not trust people older then him?</em>
</p><p>"I've called you here today because I'm concerned." Tommy blinked. His thought process derailed entirely.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god, does this guy know? Is Wilbur gonna put me in danger? Do I have to get out of here?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't know why, but I don't want to...</em>
</p><p>"O-Oh? What exactly does that mean, Willow?" He was beginning to fidget, but he moved his hands skillfully and in a way that looked like he was merely bored and was toying with his hands, not like he was slowly reverting back to a very very dark place.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Do better, Theseus. We expect better. It's not that difficult." The scientists watched him activate as many cards as he could, but his body was shaking from the exertion of three. People had limits, and the power you are born with can't grow or change. It stays fixed, and that's what you have your whole life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He shouldn't be able to be doing this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Try harder, Theseus. Our little god should have no trouble completing these tasks, so why are you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Theseus sobbed and collapsed. He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't, there was so much blood, so much pain. The stupid filthy adults just tsked at him. One sighed and shook their head. "Pathetic. Honestly, it's like you're trying to disappoint us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll do better next time-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The scientist shushed him. "Hey, hey, quiet. I know you're tired, but the problem is that you've hurt us. You've hurt us by not being able to do the simplest of tasks. This isn't something that can just be forgiven easily, Theseus." The six year old sobbed from the cold stone floors. Mr. Tanaka was the only nice one to him, how'd he mess up this bad?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(That's emotional manipulation, little one. He is not kind, he is the cruelest out of them all.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We can continue this tomorrow morning, but know that I am beyond wounded at your lack of cooperation. We're doing what's best for you, why can't you just accept it and work with us instead of against?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"M-M' sorry, Mr. Tanaka. 'M sorry that I'm such a bad k-kid." The six year old shook, attempted to stand up, and then fell to his knees. Mr. Tanaka shook his head. "At least you're polite; you got that from me. I'll send you to the nurse's office, and once you're done, you can go back to your room. If you're good, we'll let you see your sister."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Theseus sniffled. "Really?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Really." Tanaka smiled down at him, the grin was filled with faux warmth and kindness,  it there was no way for the child not to know. He giggled. "Thank you, Mr. Tanaka!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course, Theseus." The man's hand that was once on his back slipped uncomfortably lower to the boy's rear, and Theseus shivered uncomfortably. Mr. Tanaka cared, so he should just stop being a big baby and stop getting uncomfortable every time the balding man looked at him like he was a meal, or whenever his lingering touches went just a bit too close to his no-no square.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mr. Tanaka cared, right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course he did, Theseus thought. Mr. Tanaka was creepy, but that was ok because he was the only one that cared.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(He doesn't, little me, that filthy bastard is only using you.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Tommy? Are you alright?" The blonde jolted slightly. "Y-Yeah, of course. I'm good."</p><p>"...Are you sure?" Instincts kicked in, and he responded with a "Yes, I can keep going." After a moment, he tacked on "Continue with what you were saying, please." He was shaking harder. His eyes were guarded, and his entire body was rigid. He felt like he should get somewhere high or secluded. He wanted to be anywhere except this particular room at the moment, but he had to stay.</p><p>The bills didn't pay themselves, after all. He didn't want to risk the chance of getting fired just because he was a little upset. It was no biggie, really.</p><p>He was just being overdramatic like everything else, he told himself. Really, he acted like a child.</p><p>
  <em>"You're just being a burden by acting out like this, frankly it's unacceptable. You should know better then to have your little tantrums, Theseus."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"C-Can't breathe-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And? How does that relate to me? Stop asking for help, you're six and yet you act like you're two. Just help yourself instead of pretending to have a panic attack just for attention."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not-Not faking- oh god help me, please, please, I'll do anything-" The child hiccupped and choked, vision blurred by streaming tears and blood dripping down his face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Weak. If you really are having one, then don't ruin my day by bothering me with it. Go find someone else to annoy with your irritating blabbering voice, you stupid child."</em>
</p><p>"Tommy?"</p><p>"Please continue with what you were saying."</p><p>"... Are you alright?"</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>Wilbur sighed and winced. "See, this is what I'm worried about. I just think that there's something you aren't telling me."</p><p>"...About?"</p><p>"Everything. So, Tommy." He nodded kindly. "If you would, please tell me what's happening? Or what happened."</p><p>Tommy stared blankly. "What?"</p><p>"Can you-"</p><p>"Yeah, no, no-" He rubbed his temple, feeling a headache forming. "I mean, what makes you think I'm going to tell you?"</p><p>Wilbur blinked. "Eh?"</p><p>"You're my boss, Willow." There was that damned name again, the one he used to distance himself from the man across from him. Wilbur really didn't like it. "I'm not just going to spill my life story to you."</p><p>"Oh..." He actually hadn't considered that. He was so caught up in his big brother brain screaming <em>protect protect protect</em> that he hadn't even realised that Tommy might not have wanted to tell him anything. In fairness, it was an odd situation. Your boss asking you for your life story because he was worried. "I'm sorry, then. I didn't realise."</p><p>" 'S fine. Just..." Tommy refused to make eye contact. "Whatever. Never mind. Thanks for caring, I guess." He bit his tounge on the last one, eyes widening. </p><p>
  <em>Fuck I didn't mean to have that slip out is he going to hit me is he going to slap me how's he going to hurt me-</em>
</p><p>"Tommy." The man's face was soft. "I know this might sound a bit odd, but I don't just care about you as a boss, I also care deeply about you as a friend. I just really don't like seeing you this jittery and upset."</p><p>"Ah- sorry." Tommy forcefully calmed himself from the incoming panic attack he knew would be eventual. "Well, um, that's nice of you to say. I-" He physically could not meet the other man's eyes; voice coming out in a broken whisper. "I c-care about you too. You're alright." His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, and his ears were pulled back.</p><p>The brown haired man giggled. "Alright, well, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here. You can always come to me as a friend too, not just your weirdly unprofessional boss."</p><p>Tommy brightened up a bit. "Alright. Thank you, Wilbur."</p><p>He smiled. "Anytime, Toms. Anytime."</p><p>Tommy felt as if that kind smile, one that he had almost never been offered by anyone in his life, was going to make him slip up.</p><p>(I just want a family.)</p><p>
  <em>(You don't deserve it.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Another step, another breath, another blink, another twitch.</p><p>Another second that went by before his eventual panic attack his him like a freight train.</p><p>
  <em>Calm down, calm down, calm down, it's ok, it's all ok, there's nothing wrong, calm down-</em>
</p><p>Everything was not ok. </p><p>He sharply turned a corner and dipped into an alleyway, distantly realising that panic attacks always hit hard, no matter if you expect them or not.</p><p>His breathing picked up, and he let out a few futile wheezes before collapsing to his knees and pushing himself up against the cold brick, arms hugging himself tight; too tight.</p><p>Fat tears stained his cheeks, and cat claws pierced through his black gloves, a shudder racked his body at the thought of why he always wore gloves.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"A precaution. You're strong, it'll be fine." The surgeon who he didn't know the name of rubbed a cotton ball on his hand, it became abnormally cold. "We don't have any numbing agents, so just bite this fabric and don't move or I'll give you something to cry about." He lifted the small plate from it's place on the cloth beside them; the square metal gleamed in the light, words on it incomprehensible for the chd who was four at the time. "Just. Stay. Still."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He placed the smooth metal on the back of the child's hand and lined up the first nail. "This is going to hurt."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then he brought the hammer down, and Theseus screamed.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Tommy wailed at the phantom pain, and shaking lifted his glove off. No one knew about the plate, not even Tubbo, or Sapanp. He stared down at the pristine letters, feeling like he was going to vomit. </p><p>
  <em>Experiment sixty, "Theseus."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>SS-rank. Dangerous.</em>
</p><p>Acid welled up in the back of his throat, and he wheezed a little bit as the tears fell faster. Oh god, why couldn't he ever escape it? Physically he had almost gotten away unscathed, but mentally...</p><p>(Patchwork skin littered his body, gray and pale skin that should not have been on such an innocent skinny frame had been stitched there, replacing the owner's flesh due to a training accident, a burn, when someone hit him too hard to the point where it left a scar. </p><p>The head scientist was crazy; he thought it made the child look beautiful.</p><p>Tommy, however, disagreed.)</p><p>Cat claws pierced though the skin on his arms; only some of it rendering in his brain due to the fact that some of it wasn't originally his, and he let out a wheezy sob. Why was this happening? Why'd he look like such a freak? Why him?</p><p>His questions went unanswered. He buried his head in his arms, bit down on the fabric, and s c r e a m e d.</p><p>No, no, <em>no, no no n o mono n on onn o n o non on nonono this isn't good this isn't nice I remember all the pain why do I want to forget so badly!?-</em></p><p>"Tommy? Is that you?"</p><p>He choked and looked up again, tears running down his face.</p><p>Piercing green eyes met his, and he pushed himself further into the wall.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Cat and mouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy's on the prowl.<br/>(Also cute dadschlatt! Let's go!!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"S'm?" The creeper hybrid gasped. "Tommy! Are you-" He paused. "Can I come closer?"</p><p>Tommy nodded quickly, even though every nerve screamed at him not to. He needed- he didn't know what he needed, but he needed it <em>now</em>.</p><p>"Alright, I'm going to come closer." Sam made his way over slowly before kneeling in front of the shaking boy. "Hey there, Tommy. Do you think you can match my breathing?" He gently took a hand- the ungloved one, Tommy thought with horror- and pressed it to his chest. His breaths were calm and steady. "Breathe in for six seconds." Tommy complied. "Hold it in for six, and then let go for six."</p><p>After a couple of tries, the blonde finally got control of his breathing and ripped his hand away from the man's chest, cradling it as if it was burnt.</p><p>"There we go, much better!" The hybrid sat down next to Tommy, an odd movement considering the fact that he was built like a centaur. "Are you alright now?"</p><p>"Y-Yeah. Thank you, Sam."</p><p>"Do you wanna... talk about it?" The man offered up.</p><p>Tommy shook again, and for a second Sam though he had brought on another panic attack when-</p><p>"It's a long story. I've just kinda been suppressing that attack for a while, so... Uh... Yeah."</p><p>The green haired man blinked. "That isn't healthy."</p><p>"Then it's a good thing I don't care about my health- I mean-" Tommy stuttered, obviously not meaning for those words to slip out. "I mean yeah, you're right, sorry."</p><p>"No need to apologize. Is everything alright?"</p><p>"Eh? Oh. Everything's uh, it's all good. Thanks." He reached out to grab his glove, but-</p><p>Sam got to it first. "I actually have a question for you."</p><p><em>Fuck fuck fuck play it cool, play it cool!</em> "Yeah?"</p><p>"I saw something on your hand-" <em>FUCK</em> "-May I get a closer look at it?" He angled </p><p>"Uh- nope!" He snatched his hand away once more, slipping on the glove. "Thanks for yourhelpgottagobyeSam!" Tommy stood up, feeling mildly woozy before turning.</p><p>"Tommy, wait-" He grabbed the plated hand, and Tommy choked painfully before turning around and hissing. "Don't <em>ever </em>do that to me <em>ever again."</em></p><p>"Tommy-"</p><p>"Save it. Goodbye."</p><p>"I'm sorry." Tommy paused. "Hm?"</p><p>"I'm just worried, Tommy." He paused. "But I can't force you to say anything. I'm sorry for grabbing your hand."</p><p>"..." He sighed. "I'll see you on Monday, Sam."</p><p>"See you on Monday..." Tommy scampered off.</p><p>Sam sat alone in the alleyway, thinking. He assumed it was at least a bad tattoo that Tommy was embarrassed about, but no. It felt solid and square under the glove. Like a plaque, almost.</p><p>Almost as if there was a pice of metal on... him...</p><p>Oh <em>no,</em> he thought. <em>Oh god.</em></p><p>With imperceptibly shaky hands, he dialed Wilbur's number.</p><p>"You're Tommy's boss, right?"</p><p>
  <em>"Yes? What happened?"</em>
</p><p>"There is something very, <em>very</em> wrong."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy stared down at his nameplate.</p><p>It stared back.</p><p>He wanted to rip that stupid piece of metal off of his hands.</p><p>
  <em>Nice going, idiot. Now he probably hates us.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tubbo was spying on someone.</p><p>His estranged father, to be exact. The hero had been leaping throughout the city, hooves clacking on every leap. The man and him were similar (related, but that wasn't important as of now), so he thought that some spying could teach him some things. He peeked over the current air filterer he was hiding to see the man punt a criminal into a wall.</p><p>It was <em>awesome.</em></p><p>After the fight was over, Tubbo continued to stare. Schlatt opened his mouth, and-</p><p>"Whoever you are, come out. I know you've been following me."</p><p>Ah.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>"Seriously, I don't know who you think you are, but I won't hesitate to kick your ass."</p><p>Tubbo cleared his throat and the older ram hybrid whipped around. "Um- hello! Hi!"</p><p>Schlatt blinked. "What."</p><p>"Can you teach me that move?"</p><p>
  <em>"What."</em>
</p><p>"Hello, Jschlatt!" The man blinked. "What's a kid like you doing out?"</p><p>"I'm sixteen! And vigilante stuff, that's what I'm doing."</p><p>"You shouldn't be."</p><p>The teen huffed angrily. "Well it's not like I get a chooce,-  but that's not what's important! Teach me that move!"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Well I'm going to be a vigilante either way, so you can help me to do it safely, or unsafely."</p><p>"...Alright, kid, c'mere. I'll show you how to do that kick."</p><p>Tubbo cheered. "Yes! Thank you!"</p><p>Schlatt chuckled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Ohhhh, so I'm supposed to push out my leg instead of moving it up?"</p><p>"Yeah, it puts more power behind your kick."</p><p>Tubbo tried it a couple times. Schlatt clapped. "Good job, kid. You're a natural."</p><p>The younger brunette giggled. "Learned it from the best. Actually, while we're here there's something I wanted to show you."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I had an idea for a support item with your horns! So, I know a lot of communicators look bulky, but-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, that sounds like a pretty fuc-freakin' awesome idea, but who's gonna make me that? I love the design, by the way." He pointed to the paper that Tubbo had gotten out. On it was a communicator that also looked like horn jewelry, fake gemstones functioning as buttons for the circuits underneath.</p><p>"Oh, um, I know how to make it! I just kinda wanted your confirmation that it was going to be used, so..."</p><p>Schlatt grinned. "God, you're one hell of a kid. Smart in fights and tech-wise?" He patted the boy's head. "You're gonna go places."</p><p>"T-Thank you." He blushed. "That means a lot to me."</p><p>"Hey, no problem. Actually, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"What's up?"</p><p>"Are you a ram hybrid?" Tubbo startled. "Uh- yeah? Why?"</p><p>"Ah, its nothing, just..." He trailed off. "Just wanted to confirm. Us ram hybrids gotta stick together, yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>After a moment, he felt himself get enveloped in a hug. Schlatt stood stock still before hesitantly wrapping his hands around the shorter's figure. "Uh?"</p><p>"You just looked like you needed it."</p><p>
  <em>This kid...</em>
</p><p>He hugged a little tighter. "Thanks, ...?"</p><p>"Aries."</p><p>"Thanks, Aries."</p><p>"It's no-" His stomach growled. "...Problem."</p><p>The older ram looked at him accusingly. "Have you eaten today?"</p><p>"Uh-"</p><p>Schlatt frowned. This probably wasn't Tubbo, he knew that it was practically impossible for his kid to be alive, but that didn't mean his parental instincts went away. All of them were blaring over and over to <em>see how skinny this kid is, look at his arms, he has like, three muscles what are his parents feeding him?</em> "What're your parents feeding you?"</p><p>Aries looked away. "...I don't have any at the moment." And <em>yeah, hi, what the fuck does that imply?</em></p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"I don't-"</p><p>"Come here." He gathered the kid in another hug. "'M sorry about your parents."</p><p>"It's ok. I'm gonna see h-them again, just..." He trailed off. "I can't right now. I'm involved in something dangerous, and I don't want to get them hurt. I think they also think that I might be dead, so..."</p><p>Schlatt ruffled the kids hair, hyperaware of the two little stubby horns poking out on his forehead. "They sound like shit." Directing his attention back to the kid, he could feel the boy's ribs through his costume, but also could feel a bit of muscle there, most likely from the constant activity that vigilantism put him through. "Come on, Aries, I'm getting you a sandwich. You feel like you could be knocked over with a particularly strong wind."</p><p>Tubbo went quiet. "Aries?"</p><p>"Can I..." He looked away. "Can I get one for my roommates too? We're all kinda in the same situation, and we're trying really hard to pay the bills, but our landlord is really mean, so it doesn't leave too much money for groceries."</p><p>Schlatt took a while to process this. "You are living with what now?"</p><p>"Um, two roommates?"</p><p>"How old are they?"</p><p>"We're all sixteen?"</p><p>The older felt his soul drop. "You are three kids, no parents, vigilantes, and paying your bills by yourself?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"So you can't get food?"</p><p>"Y-Yeah?"</p><p>"...Your friends can get sandwiches too. Meet me back here tomorrow."</p><p>"Are we getting the sandwiches tommorr-"</p><p>"No, we're getting them <em>now.</em> I'm just telling you to meet me here again tomorrow. Same time, same place. Actually, what time is it...?" He checked his watch and looked at Aries accusingly. "It's one in the morning, don't you have school tomorrow? Whatever, let's just go get that food."</p><p>He made a mental note to make a grocery list when he got home. <em>What do sixteen year olds like to eat?</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Sapnap, is that a skirt?"</p><p>"I found it in the garbage and I like it, so now it's mine."</p><p>"Fair. Just make sure to wash it when we go to the laundromat."</p><p>"I will. Don't tell Tubbo."</p><p>"I'm absolutely telling him."</p><p>
  <em>"Tommy, no!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oi, don't lunge at me you bloody bastard!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Sam had gotten back to work on Monday, he wasn't expecting Tommy to have left anything. He saw a small honeyed bun on a cloth though, with a note that read "<em>i'm sorry for running away on Saturday, take this apology bun"</em>, he felt his heart melt a little. A tiny coo of <em>aww, Tommy,</em> came out from his mouth, and he giggled, delighting in the honeyed bun before sitting down to work on his machinery.</p><p>Maybe the kid wasn't so mad at him after all. On his lunch break he went to go grab a cake pop and sat it by Tommy's desk, writing a little note back to him. "<em>I'</em><em>m sorry for grabbing your hand, Tommy. Thank you for forgiving me."</em></p><p>By the end of the day, there was no honeyed bun, but there's was a small note that read "<em>Th</em><em>ank you for forgiving me, too."</em></p><p>Sam felt his heart melt even more.</p><p>
  <em>Aww! Tommy!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hi, Schla..tt... What?"</p><p>"Got you these." He handed the bags to Tubbo. "You said you were having trouble with groceries, right? Got you some. Hope I got what you kids like."</p><p>He was tackled in another hug. <em>"T-Thank you, Schlatt!!"</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Guys, guess who got groceries?"</p><p>"Wh- Tubbo! We still need to pay our bills, holy shit!"</p><p>"No, no, listen, lemme tell you how I got these without spending a penny!"</p><p>"Did you steal-"</p><p>"I didn't steal! Just listen, stupid!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy woke up feeling like shit.</p><p>He hadn't bothered to take a shower yesterday due to the overwhelming hatred he had for his patchwork skin body and handplate, but now it felt like he had been slam dunked into a vat of oil.</p><p>He felt gross.</p><p>He felt like how he did back at the facility, with their sparse showers and infected skin, blood and pus sometimes leaking out of the cracks in between his original skin and his replaced skin.</p><p>It was a feeling he wanted to get off as soon as humanely possible, so he scrambled to the showers and turned on the faucet, mentally timing himself to go as quick as he could whilst sstill getting clean. Tommy gently lathered soap on himself, wincing when it hit his stitches. He was sure that the two skins had almost certainly fused together and that the stitches were probably useless, but it was a terrifying thought to know that his skin could still fall off of him because he didn't wait long enough.</p><p>Maybe in a year he'd stop stitching himself back up. Maybe.</p><p>(You can't keep your secrets from everyone forever, Tommy. You'll slip up and everyone's going to know what a monster you are. Do you even count as a human anymore? Considering everything, you probably never were in the first place. You weren't conceived like normal, you weren't born with normal powers, you don't even look normal, you experiment nameplate patchwork <em>freak-)</em></p><p>No, those thoughts would only send him spiralling again. He breathed in and out, only noticing that he mimicked what Sam taught him in the alleyway earlier after he calmed himself.</p><p>He sighed and lifted himself from the broken down bathtub. Today was going to be a long day, especially since all the heroes were leaving for a while and he had to guard the building.</p><p>...Well, if he'd gotten Tubbo and Sapnap's permission, maybe he could bring those two in vigilante uniform.</p><p>It's not like they had anything else today, right?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So." Tommy spoke up during breakfast. "You two don't happen to be open for the next two days by any chance?"</p><p>Tubbo blinked. "What."</p><p>"I'm free all the time. What do you need?"</p><p>"I need at least two vigilantes to be guarding the building that I work at for the next two days because all the heroes will be gone."</p><p>"Ohhhh, sounds like fun. Do we get to steal any sensitive information?"</p><p>"No, we're trying to prevent people from stealing sensitive information."</p><p>"Damn."</p><p>Tubbo shrugged. "I'm free today, but I have stuff tomorrow. Sapnap?"</p><p>"Same here. You think you can handle the building by yourself for a day, big guy?"</p><p>Tommy hummed. "As long as no evil organisations attack the base the one day that you two are gone, yeah, totally."</p><p>Tubbo laughed. "You just jinxed it."</p><p>"No I didn't! That wouldn't happen."</p><p>"Double jinx."</p><p>
  <em>"Tubbo!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy walked through the building, mentally going through his checklist.</p><p>
  <em>Any listening devices? Disabled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cameras? Disabled, or looping footage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alibi? Uh... I met these two and patched them up so they owed me a favor and I used it on this? Good enough.</em>
</p><p>He breathed a sigh of relief and continued to walk through the hallways, the tapping of his shoes echoing in the unusually silent office.</p><p>Until-</p><p>A tiny scuff caught his attention, he was immediately on guard, ears swivelling to catch ant signs of life other then him inside the office.</p><p>He could head a muffled heartbeat. He could smell someone else in the office.</p><p>He couldn't let that person know that he knew, though. "Who was that?" He pretended to look around before scratching the back of his head, quietly moving closer to the person. "I could've sworn I heard something move."</p><p>A tiny gasp hit his eears, and after a moment, he shrugged. "Huh, must've just been my imagination..."</p><p>A tiny sigh of relief was let out, before he spine again.</p><p>"Or maybe... it was you who did it?" He pivoted on his heel and grabbed their neck, wrenching the invisible intruder closer to his face. They cussed, and he grinned, baring his teeth. "I could hear your heartbeat from two rooms over, invisabitch. Turn off your power now, and I might let you leave with all fingers still attached."</p><p>They immediately dropped the cloaking to reveal a middle aged man, grinning. "Oh yeah, and how're you going to do that, kitt- <em>fuck!"</em></p><p>Claws had sunk into the tender skin of his neck, and his eyes widened as he let out a strangled gasp. Tommy threw him to the floor. "You know, people often underestimate me because of my looks, right? But even so, cats used to be at the top of the food chain thanks to their claws and teeth and speed. The only reason humans were able to change that is because they outsmarted the cats. Even now, feline are still predator animals. The funny thing is, if you put a defenseless, weak human in a cage with a furious lion-" When the man tried to get up, he stomped down on his chest and pinned him to the floor with a wheeze. "-who do you think's going to win?"</p><p>"H-hey there, no need t-to get v-violent, k-kitty."</p><p>"<strong><em>Call me that again and I'll show you why cats are born with claws, pussy boy</em></strong>." He unsheathed the noticeably longer claws, and the man startled. He smelled pungent, like body odor and cheap coffee.</p><p>"Eep!" And oh, how Tommy's cat instincts <em>begged</em> him to claw his prey, to hear that squeak one more time.</p><p>"Who sent you?"</p><p>"E-eh?"</p><p>"Who. Sent. You?"</p><p>"Uh- some dude wanted sensitive info and m-my power was just good for it, he offered a lotta cash- <em>don't point your c-claws at me, please!"</em> Tommy had kneeled down over the man. "Wow, are all criminals these days as pathetic as you? What was his name?"</p><p>"I dunno, man! G... Get offa me, you fuckin' psycho!" He pushed the lean boy off of him and scampered off.</p><p>Tommy grinned, unsheathing his claws once more as his tail flicked behind him.</p><p>He was up for a game of cat and mouse.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The girls are fightingggg</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next hour saw terrified screaming and laughter as Tommy chased the intruder down the office, the faint scent of urine staining the man's scent.</p><p>He thought it was hilarious. The man did not.</p><p>After about two hours, he decided that he was done chasing and confronted the man head-on.</p><p>He left screaming and crying whilst Tommy was left laughing on the ground.</p><p>
  <em>Oh my god, he really was pathetic!</em>
</p><p>He rumbled in satisfaction, although slightly peeved that he got no other information from the man.</p><p>Tommy hummed as he wiped the blood from his claws, irritation sweeping though him when his eyes caught the nameplate. He looked back to his gloves, which now had puncture marks at the fingertips.</p><p>Maybe he should invest in some fingerless ones...</p><p>Tommy's tail swayed as he thought. He had seen some very nice fingerless elbow height gloves in a nearby store, not unlike the black ones that the hero, Dream, wore.</p><p>After wiping his hands dry, he pulled his gloves back on and continued to maneuver his way down the halls.</p><p>Sapnao and Tubbo were patrolling outside, although he made sure to send them a text of a beat-up picture of the imposter, with the caption <em>you guys are shit at patrolling lmao.</em> They freaked out slightly.</p><p>He stopped by the main offices. Before making his way to Dream's area. He slowly peeked through the drawers, looking to see if he could replace his gloves, they annoyed him already. After a while of searching, he found a drawer that was filled to the brim with the gloves and masks.</p><p>...Weird, but ok.</p><p>He took a pair and shut the drawer, taking off his old gloves and throwing them in the trash. He then rolled up his sleeves, wincing in displeasure at how his patchwork skin was very much visible, as well as his nameplate, and putting on the elbow length gloves quickly.</p><p>He admired the article of clothing once they were in him. They covered up his arms up to his elbow and were a simple black fingerless glove design. Honestly, there wasn't much to say about the gloves.</p><p>He still loved them.</p><p>He heard the door open, and the world went still.</p><p>"Tommy?"</p><p>Ah, nevermind. It was just.. his... friends?</p><p>He snuck throughout the office, feet impossibly silent from one too many times he was too loud in fighting the scientists. Ever since he had gotten his cat transformation he had been able to place people's scents. Sapnap smelled like burning wood, Tubbo smelled like honey. Wilbur smelled oddly lavemder-like, Techno had an odd scent, like if the smell of blood could be casual, and Sam smelled like gunpowder.</p><p>Something was tinging the scents of his two friends. Something bad.</p><p>He continued to sneak. Something was very wrong, and his years of honed instincts told him to duck.</p><p>He did, just as a thorny red vine left a crater in the wall.</p><p>That wasn't normal.</p><p>He turned around and <em>oh Jesus, what the fuck?</em></p><p>There were red vines <em>everywhere.</em> They lined the walls, they threaded beneath the office. Sapnap and Tubbo were wandering around, calling his name. He opened his mouth to signal them to where he wwas, but the words died in his throat.</p><p>His friend's eyes were blood red. Not bloodshot, or maybe a burst blood vessel at worst, but no. Their eyes were practically glowing red, and that same red dripped down their cheeks in a disgusting imitation of tears. It wasn't blood, he could smell that, but what was it?</p><p>
  <em>"Tommy! Where are you? We just wanna talk!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on out, Tommy! We have something to show you!"</em>
</p><p>Hm. No! He stared harder. Their movements were mechanical and strained, not unlike what happened when Wilbur used his mind... control...</p><p>Oh.</p><p>He sighed. Today was the perfect day for that, huh? Just when all the heroes left.</p><p>Just him and him only.</p><p>(The only one not susceptible to mind control.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He hummed. "Hey Sap, hey Tubs." If these really were his friends and not some puppets, they'd at least make a joke about the nicknames.</p><p>"Tommy, there you are. We want to show you something, Tommy."</p><p>"Come with us, Tommy." They said nothing about it.</p><p>"...You guys alright?"</p><p>"Never been better, Tommy. We're so happy now, Tommy." They spoke in unison, which was <em>fucking creepy, what the fuck.</em></p><p>"You wanna show me something?" </p><p>"Follow."</p><p>
  <em>Secondary location, motherfucker. I don't think so.</em>
</p><p>"Where are you taking me?"</p><p>"Follow. Now." They repeated mechanically. It was weird to see his normally expressive friends so dull. He didn't like it.</p><p>"Alright, I just have to go to the bathroom, then we can go."</p><p>The two nodded in unison. Tommy slowly moved away and rounded a corner before breaking out into a sprint. He hadn't been here as long as the other employees, but that didn't mean he didn't know the floorplan like the back of his hand. He raced to Wilbur's office and stocked up on things he might need, but could still be hidden.</p><p>After a moment of careful consideration, he pocketed a glock, which really, who just had guns in their drawers?</p><p>Wilbur wasn't American, so it was quite confusing. </p><p>He pocketed an axe in his inventory, as well as some flashbands and communicators. Sticks of dynamite and a lighter found their rways into his hands, and he grabbed some rope. After all of it was hidden awah in his inventory, he scampered back out. "Sorry I took so long."</p><p>"Follow." The two boys mindlessly slunk out, Tommy followed hesitantly behind.</p><p>He hoped that he wouldn't get too messed up, although it was a futile hope when he saw what the boys were showing him.</p><p>In the middle of the city, firmly planted, was an... Egg? A red egg.</p><p>Weird, but ok.</p><p>He seemed to be saying that a lot these days.</p><p>"Look at it, Tommy, isn't it beautiful, Tommy?"</p><p>"Uh... Yeah."</p><p>A sea of puppeted heroes rushed in.</p><p>"You don't sound too sure about that, Tommy."</p><p>The blonde gulped. Everyone who was supposed to go to the mission was here, and not in control of themselves. Except Wilbur? Wait, where was Wilbur? He looked around.</p><p>After a moment, he saw. The man was hanging from the veling, red vines wrapped around his body. He was wincing, but by the looks of it didn't seem to fully be under control.</p><p>...So he was of no use. At the moment, maybe.</p><p>A horrible grating sound rang in his ears. He winced.</p><p>"̴͞C҉̛o-m̵͟..e̵̶ ͏cl̡̕o...se r͟,̢҉ c͠hi...ld.͞"</p><p>It's voice sounded familiar.</p><p>He couldn't place it.</p><p>"Fuck off, you stupid egg looking shit, I bet your mother is highly unimpressed."</p><p>"͡S͠uc͜h..̡.͡ a ̨mo͠u̧...t̵h ̶you ̨ha̴ve..͡. Y̶oųr͡ m͢o͏th͠e̢r.̷..̴ w͝ou͝ld be͢ ̸u͠p.̧.͞.̡s̵e̕t̵, ̢n̡o.͡..?̸"</p><p>"I'm an orphan, try again." He sneered. </p><p>The egg's messages burst out into a spurt of static before silence.</p><p>"Oi, egg fuck." He shrugged and began placing explosives around the egg.</p><p>"Stop̨ ͞t̛h͡-a͞t.̕"͟</p><p>"No, I don't think I will."</p><p>"Chi-l͡d, you͘.͠.. don͠'͞t͏ kn͘..̕.ow w̢h͟a-͡t y̵ǫu're̡ doin̴g.̵."͠</p><p>"Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing."</p><p>"I ҉c̷a͠n ̧giv̕e..҉.̨ ͢y͟ou thin̷g̕s̡ ̴be̷yond y͢ouŗ ͘w͜il-͞d̕es͜t ̡dre͜a̸ms͡..͏. ͡y̧ou'҉d ju̡st t̢h͜row ͠i͏t̵...̴ ̷a͢w̕-̴ay?"</p><p>Tommy sneered and glared. "Don't you fucking even imply that there's a happy ending in store for me. There is no happiness, there is no good end, there was no good start. All I've ever had is shit circumstances, and that's how it's gonna be forever." He set down the final stick of dynamite.</p><p>"̕W͟ai̧ţ-̶"͜</p><p>"Any last words?" The egg growled. "̢̡G̨Ȩ̵T ̴͞HĮ͝M!"͏</p><p>The heroes lunged, and he smiled.</p><p>
  <em>(" We have only one experiment that's ranked with the SS rank, good sir."</em>
</p><p><em>"Oh? An</em> <em>d what does SS rank mean? I've seen S and E and the others, but SS?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"SS means that it's the most dangerous, as well as the hardest to contain."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Was S rank not the strongest? If those things you showed me earlier weren't as strong as this..." The stranger trailed off. "I want to see it. Bring it to me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Um, sir, I highly suggest you go to it instead. If we let it out of it's enclosure without being drugged..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I see. Well then, what are we waiting for? Show me the way."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course, sir. Prepare yourself to meet Theseus.")</em>
</p><p>
  <em>SS rank is the most dangerous, as well as the hardest to contain.</em>
</p><p>"Come and get me, then. Fucking <em>try it."</em> He leapt up and the puppeted heroes crashed together. He cackled. "Oh, this is going to be <em>fun."</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Most heroes were on the ground. Some were unconscious, others were too terrified to move, even through the mind control.</p><p>Tommy was limping slightly, and bruises riddled his body. The boy was panting, one of his eyes was swollen shut. His nose was bleeding, and tears dripped out of the unnaturally cyan eyes. His grin was manic, and some of his suit was torn to show his skin.</p><p>"Who's next?"</p><p>He dodged a quick hit from Whisper and caught the blade that was swung at him from the Blade.</p><p>His heart pounded in his ears, and he smiled. This was familiar. This was practically child's play compared to what the scientists put him through.</p><p>
  <em>("Turn up the heat to 538 degrees."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But these are in celcius! That might kill him!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Blood poured out of his mouth as he felt his organs practically liquify. A raspy wheeze left his throat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But still, he persisted.)</em>
</p><p>He ripped a stray blade caught in his arm out with his teeth and used it to impale another hero in the gut, ignoring the voice in his head that told him that it wasn't sanitary to do that.</p><p>
  <em>That's the least of our problems at the moment, bitch!</em>
</p><p>He groaned in pain as he was kneed in the back where a bad bruise was forming. Almost all the heroes were down was the good news. The bad news?</p><p>The Blade, Dream, Badboyhalo, and Schlatt were his last opponents.</p><p>Damn.</p><p>He sighed and stretched his shoulder. He could probably take them out, but he wasn't sure if he could get back up after.</p><p>Only one way to find out, right?</p><p>He opened his pack of cards and pulled two. He could maintain three cards at most, but he was slowly working to maintain four at once. The cards read <em>Strength</em>and <em>Teleportation.</em></p><p>...He could work with that. </p><p>Tommy rolled his shoulders and prepared for a long, long battle before teleporting behind the Blade. That man was the biggest threat if he activated his "Blood god" boost, so the blonde would have to take him out first. Chopping the man on the neck on his pressure point, the piglin went down like a sack of potatoes. He wasn't unconcoius though, just dazed enough to fall to his knees. Tommy was about to quickly restrain the man when a kick hit him and most likely broke one of his ribs.</p><p>Bad stood there, growling, rearing up his foot for another powerful kick. Tommy caught the kick the second time and flung the man into a wall, leaving behind a crater.</p><p>(Dangerous.)</p><p>He teleported behind Schlatt and flipped him, knocking the air out of the ram hybrid before tying his hands behind his back.</p><p>(Dangerous.)</p><p>Dream roundhouse kicked him, making a direct hit to the back of Tommy's head, causing his vision to black out for a moment. Tommy turned and lunged at the hooded man and bit his shoulder with teeth too sharp to be anything but a monster's.</p><p>(Dangerous.)</p><p><em>Didn't they know- </em>He slashed at Dream -<em>that SS class are the most dangerous?</em></p><p>Obviously not.</p><p>Bad was slowly emerging from the broken wall, but his moves showed hesitance, and Tommy smirked. <em>Good, he's afraid. He should be.</em></p><p>Tommy grabbed the foot that was supposed to kick him squarely in the stomach and picked the entire man up, Dream let out a noise of confusion as his ankles were swiftly tied together before the teen proceeded to use him as a blunt force weapon.</p><p>Yes, the entire man.</p><p>Bad collapsed again, crumbling from below when Dream's struggling body was used to hit his knees.</p><p>He was hit again, and blood poured down his face. His shirt and pants were torn to hell and back, but the gloves stayed on.</p><p>Wilbur watched on. This... Man? This person was blowing through their numbers like it was nothing. Tommy's eyes almost glowed blue, and it hit Whisper like a freight train.</p><p>What he was witnessing, it wasn't human.</p><p>He should've known, he should've seen the sigjns the unnatural perfection on the boy when they'd first met. His bright blonde hair that looked more like gold, and his perfect ivory skin that apparently was patchwork-like as his eyes travelled down the boy's skinny yet muscular frame. The thing's eyes though, that's what really got him. They looked like skies, maybe. The teal in them was overpowering and sparkling in a way that something real and natural and safe could never be.</p><p>This boy(?), this person, this... Whatever Tommy was, he was dangerous.</p><p>Wilbur watched in awe as the boy threw Bad like it was nothing, he watch how Tommy used an entire person as a weapon against another person, he watched as the not defeated them all and roared at the top of his lungs.</p><p>He looked like a hero, Wilbur thought. From all those myths that his brother told him all about. Like Hercules, like Theseus.</p><p>Like Theseus.</p><p>Wilbur got a feeling that he had seen something he wasn't supposed to.</p><p>He met Tommy's stunned eyes, and watched as the boy stumbled blindly over, bones creaking. "W'lb'r.."</p><p>"Tommy! What- What was that?" The not reached into his tattered pocket and pulled out a... syringe?</p><p>"S'rry." With fluid hands, the boy graded his neck and injected it in.</p><p>Wilbur stared at him. "Why...?"</p><p>"I d'n't w'nt you t' put me 'n d'nger."</p><p>"From.. From who?" His vision was rapidly fading.</p><p>"Them."</p><p>He blacked out, dreaming of piercing blue eyes that stared into his soul. He dreamed of a monster.</p><p>He wasn't scared of it.</p><p>(Tommy pushed a button, and the entire place blew up in a brilliant flame.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy collapsed when he limped back into the apartment. He took note of all his injuries: four broken ribs, a dislocated ankle, he couldn't see out of one eye, a broken leg, his shoulder had been dislocated as well, and he was absolutely sure that he had a concussion. Bruises mottler his body, and he was absolutely covered in scratches, impaled with shrapnel, and he was missing a finger.</p><p>With hazy vision, he draw a shaky card that said <em>Regeneration.</em></p><p>...Whatever. He had turned off super strength and teleportation anyways after teleporting into his apartment.</p><p>Tommy felt his bones creak, he felt things snap back together, and he heard things squelsh and pop back into place. After ten minutes of pure agony, he groaned and sat up, shuffling his way to the window. In the middle of the square was a huge explosion, and he sighed. He might've been healed up, but that didn't mean he was finished.</p><p>He clicked Tubbo's contact.</p><p>
  <em>"T-Tommy?"</em>
</p><p>"Hey, big man."</p><p>
  <em>"Holy sh- where are you!?"</em>
</p><p>"Had to go home, was too hurt to continue. Van you delete all the footage from the nearby security cams?"</p><p>
  <em>"Of course. Also, how hurt are you? Do I need to take you to a hospital?"</em>
</p><p>"I pulled from the deck and got regent, don't worry. I just need you to make sure no one finds out what happened today."</p><p>
  <em>"Of course, Toms. Stay safe."</em>
</p><p>"Can't promise that, but I'll try."</p><p>
  <em>"Good. We still need you back at the office, though. Are you good to go there?"</em>
</p><p>"Yeah. I need a new outfit-" He stared down at his tattered, blood soaked and soot covered outfit. "-and a shower, actually, but I'll be good to get back, in like, thirty minutes."</p><p>
  <em>"Perfect. I'll see you soon."</em>
</p><p>"See you."</p><p>He hung up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. This chapter is just an absolute fucking rollercoaster lmao</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You see that nice little tag I made about the egg not being what you think it is??? Heehoo<br/>Also if you went hints abt the chapters check the tags, I update them while I write the chapter<br/></p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Tommy! Hello!" Wilbur waved at his employee energetically. "The mission was short...er then.. we..." He trailed off when the blonde turned to face him, giving him a clear view of his face. "Hello, Wilbur. How was it-" His face was grabbed and quickly examined. "What-"</p><p>"How'd you get hurt?" He looked upsettedly at the square patch of gauze on the boy's face. Tommy had quickly taped it over his cheek, unwilling to use energy to heal such a small (in his eyes) cut on his cheek. Wilbur, however, did not have the same lack of care for Tommy's health. "What happened?"</p><p>"I just got hurt, it really isn't important." The brunette huffed. "It is. Again, what happened?"</p><p>"I just fell, no need to worry. How was the mission?" The change of subject was not lost on the hero, but he accepted it, albeit reluctantly. "It was weird. We were supposed to be gone for longer, but something happened."</p><p>"Oh?" Tommy slowly turned and motioned Wilbur to walk with him. "Tell me about it."</p><p>"Well, we were supposed to be gone for about a week, right? But something happened on the second day. We finally found what we were looking for, but we all blacked out. When we woke up, it was just... Gone."</p><p>"Gone?"</p><p>"Well, not gone, but definetly destroyed beyond repair. We were still able to get DNA samples and sent them off to the labs to be examined."</p><p>Tommy hummed, absentmindedly sorting through some files and writing on a post-it-note on which ones should be updated. "That's good, I assume?"</p><p>"Yup. We'll get the results of who it was and stuff. Read their DNA."</p><p>"Oh, fun." The blue eyed boy waved his hand, attempting to shoo away his employer. "Well, that's fun and dandy, but I have work now. Gotta re-file these, whoever did it last did a horrendous job of it."</p><p>"Techno filed them last, we haven't filed them in a while."</p><p>"...I stand by what I said. How about you come back and talk to me when you <em>don't </em>have massive amounts of paperwork to fill out?"</p><p>Wilbur groaned. "But <em>Tommy</em>, I'm so bored, and you're the only entertained one here! Are you going to let me just die of bore-" He was shot in the face by a water sprayer. "Don't make me ask again, I'm not your personal events reminder, even though I have very good memory."</p><p>Wilbur wiped his face in disbelief. "...Did you just spray me? With a water bottle?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I'm your employer."</p><p>"And I don't care. Go finish your work, Wilbur. We can talk more after, I have my own business that I have to go do as well."</p><p>"..Fine. I will be back."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>True to his word, he was back in a mere three hours. "I'm back!~"</p><p>"Oh goddamnit-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy wasn't stupid. He knew the good mood wouldn't last forever. He knew that something bad was bound to happen, eventually.</p><p>But he didn't imagine this.</p><p>Almost every hero that participated in the raid was in this room, including him and a hero that was too injured to work on that day. </p><p>Wilbur sat at the head of the table, looking positively grim. The blonde wondered wwaht it was that made the man's mood tank so low in such a short amount of time. It had been only a couple of minutes that Wilbur was cheery and carefree, so to see him suddenly become a stone faced leader was jarring.</p><p>Dream spoke up. "I take it you got the DNA results back?"</p><p>"We did."</p><p>"Then why call us all here? Surely you can finish up the rest of the procedure, yes?" George questioned.</p><p>"We had a problem." He raised his pointer to the screen set up behind him. "As you know, the Egg was beloved to be a villain on a rampage, or a civilian that had lost control of their power." Wilbur paused. 'But we were... very wrong."</p><p>"What did the DNA results say?" Bad leaned forward.</p><p>"That's the problem. It's wasn't... It wasn't one person."</p><p>"But that's impossible? We only saw one target."</p><p>"I'm saying that there were multiple people's DNA found in our specimen." That caught Tommy's attention, and a sick, curdling feeling began to broil in his stomach.</p><p>Multiple people's DNA in one sample could only mean one probable answer.</p><p>Human experimentation.</p><p>His hands were shaking.</p><p>"Each of these DNA samples were all from missing people. Matthew Evergreen, Kathy Hart, Maria Lopez, and Keith Samuel. They had all gone missing about two to three years ago, although Mrs. Maria had been missing for close to six."</p><p>
  <em>There's no way...</em>
</p><p>"What's more, each missing person's DNA just so happened to correspond with a power that the egg had." He clicked to the next slide which had photos of all the missing people with their powers listed next to them.</p><p>One looked familiar.</p><p>(<em>C҉̛o-m̵͟..e̵̶ ͏cl̡̕o...se r͟,̢҉ c͠hi...ld.͞"</em></p><p>
  <em>It's voice sounded familiar.</em>
</p><p><em>He couldn't place it</em>.)</p><p>
  <em>There's no way... Right?</em>
</p><p>The photo of Maria seemed to stare at him, accusing.</p><p>
  <em>No, she's not gone.</em>
</p><p>("<em>Mrs. Maria, hello!" He waved to another person, one in a cage. The Mexican looked up and smiled kindly, braiding her vine-like hair. She was going to be a future experiment, the scientists had told Theseus to not get attatched, but her smile was so kind. So motherly.</em></p><p>
  <em>"Hel͢lo͘,̛ ch̕il͡d.")</em>
</p><p>Tommy was going to be sick.</p><p>"While we were cleaning up, my team found this." He clicked onto the next slide, and nothing could prepare Tommy for the sight.</p><p>It was a piece of the eggshell, but that's not what got his attention. Smack dab, in the middle of the shell, was a piece of metal.</p><p>A nameplate, his minds told him, along with a hissed out <em>hey look, you match.</em></p><p>He couldn't <em>breathe.</em></p><p>The words carved on read </p><p>
  <em>Experiment seventy two, "The egg", H-rank.</em>
</p><p>Tommy still remembered the rankings. At the top was Ss-rank, the most dangerous, as well as the one with the highest flight risk; the hardest to continuously contain. There was only one experiment with that rank, and he was sitting in that room right now, so there wasn't much worry there. It'd take the scientists several years to even make another experiment close to his caliber, especially since he was the main base for their experiment. The next was S-rank, it was still dangerous but not as much as an SS. There was H-rank, which meant dangerous, but not to the scientists.</p><p>E-rank was basically the same as H-rank, but less powerful. T-rank stood for experiments who worked with the scientists, their abusers, be it by their own free will or other. There was C-rank which meant basically that it was either an experiment that was powerless to stop it's torment, those had the intellegence and strength of an average human. The second to last rank was N. N-rank meant that the experiment used it's powers to heal and calm, which led to the eventual loss of all therapy for the more weak-minded people among the worker's troops. All of the therapists so far had tried to report the horrific things they had seen, by were quickly exterminated.</p><p>It was a cruel, cruel cycle.</p><p>The last rank, however, was the worst to be. F-rank.</p><p>It stood for failure, the only rank which actually had a word.</p><p>F-rank meant that you were a failed experiment, and all F-ranks had an extra letter on them, R for reusable, or S for scrapping.</p><p>Tommy pitied the experiments that had to be Scrapped. It hurt badly.</p><p>Not that he didn't know fully, the scientist had just wanted to see how he could hold up against it. The room was actually quite terrifying, the experiments would get pinned to a wall before their organs were gouged out by a large mechanical claw.</p><p>Needless to say, it was a traumatic experience for five year old Tommy, especially when the scientists would threaten him with getting scrapped when he couldn't reach their impossible standards.</p><p>His hands were shaking, so he his them under the table. He looked pale. Wilbur discreetly noted this, and looked over to Sam to see if the hybrid had known as well. Sam nodded imperceptibly, casting worried eyes to the boy. Wilbur continued, ready to finish up quickly so he could hug the boy. Maybe Tommy was too sensitive to this, the gorey side of hero work. </p><p>(He didn't know how wrong he was. Tommy had seen dead bodies splayed out on tables by the ripe age of four, he knew the full body system by the age of six, he knew how to remove the nerve system from bodies and how to insert and remove a string properly, he knew how deep you could carve into an eye before it got serious, he knew so so many things that he didn't ever want to.)</p><p>"That's all. I'll send you all off now, email me if you have any questions."</p><p>Everyone nodded and began to file out of the room. Tommy closed his eyes and sighed, making a mental note to drop off a list with all the ranks in his vigilante costume to Wilbur.</p><p>His leg bounced restlessly for a minute before he quickly stopped, remembering how people said it always looked strange.</p><p>Wilbur and Sam just looked more concerned. Tommy quickly stood up and tried to leave with the crowd, but Sam called out to him. "Wait, Tommy! Can you stay behind?"</p><p>The blonde stopped before hesitantly walking back. Once everyone was done, he spoke up. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Are you alright?" Wilbur slowly placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You looked jittery during the entire meeting, I'm sorry for bringing up such a gruesome subject. I know some people don't handle the... dirty parts of hero work."</p><p>"Its fine. Just... I'm fine. Thanks, Wilbur. Good luck with Schlatt." He turned to Sam. "Bye, you two."</p><p>"Tommy?"</p><p>The boy looked back. "Hm?"</p><p>"If you ever need anything..." Wilbur started. "Don't be afraid to ask, alright?"</p><p>"You can ask me too. We're here to help." Sam nodded.</p><p>Tommy blinked, and with those words, twenty thousand futures become possible.</p><p>(This is when Tommy realises that people might actually want to help.</p><p>He still isn't sure though, a mistake that will cost him greatly soon.)</p><p>"...Thanks. I'll see you two tomorrow." He turned on his heel and ignored the sinking distrustful lit in his chest for the slight fluttering hope that blossomed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Dad, how do I make friends with someone?"</p><p>Phil stared, either in awe or disbelief. "You want to ask someone to be friends?"</p><p>
  <em>He's never made an effort to go and make a friend. Is he being blackmailed or something?</em>
</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"And you came to me because...?" Wilbur blinked. "You're social."</p><p>"Because I have friends?"</p><p>"Don't make me say it."</p><p>"You came to your father for friendship advice, Wilbur."</p><p>Techno piped up. "This friendship is doomed to fail, obviously."</p><p><em>"Tech, don't say that!</em> I want to make an effort, really!"</p><p>"Really?" Phil laughed, warm and full. "Alright then. Let's show you how to befriend someone, Wilbur."</p><p>"Tell us about this guy." The piglin hybrid shut his book abruptly and leaned forward to stare at Wilbur. "I want all of the details. Now. What are his weaknesses?"</p><p>"Eh- Dad?"</p><p>"Tell us."</p><p>"<em>Oh my god</em>."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I needed this, its just Wilbur and tommy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Property destruction pog</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The sex havers (+sapnap)</strong>
</p><p>Tuberculosis: hello</p><p>Meow mix mascot: what did you do</p><p>Tuberculosis: why do you assume I did something immediately???</p><p>Court jester: what did you do tubbo</p><p>Tuberculosis: ,</p><p>Meow mix mascot: tubbo where is the MICROWAVE</p><p>Court jester: WHAT</p><p>Tuberculosis: ,,,,,</p><p>Meow mix mascot: oh my god</p><p>Tuberculosis: so you know grenade launchers</p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot has left the group!</em>
</p><p>Court jester: lmao mood</p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot was added to the group!</em>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: let me out</p><p>Tuberculosis: I sold a fucking grenade launcher that I made with the microwave</p><p>Meow mix mascot: ...how much did u get</p><p>Tuberculosis: dot dot dot</p><p>Meow mix mascot: if you sold it for less then a thousand dollars im going to be pissed</p><p>Tuberculosis: oh thank god, nah I sold it for exactly 1465 </p><p>Meow mix mascot: you are spared another day</p><p>Sapnap what intriguing and contributive things did you get up to today</p><p>Court jester: looked for my boys</p><p>Meow mix mascot: the entire day</p><p>Court jester: you're just fucking jel that I can feel love you weird furry</p><p>Meow mix mascot: keep telling yourself that so you can pat yourself on the back for a long successful day of doing jack shit. heart emoji (derogatory)</p><p>Tuberculosis: friendship: toxic edition</p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot has left the group!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Meow mix mascot has been added!</em>
</p><p>Meow mix mascot: LET ME OUT </p><p>Court jester: (dergotry) no</p><p>Meow mix mascot: dergotry</p><p>Tuberculosis: *derogatory</p><p>You just got corrected by a dyslexic person</p><p>Meow mix mascot: anyways as much as I hate to stop bullying sapnap (derogatory) I have something FAR more serious</p><p>Tuberculosis: oh?</p><p>Meow mix mascot: the scientists</p><p>Court jester: oh shit</p><p>Hold on we need serious in here</p><p>
  <em>Court jester has changed three names!</em>
</p><p>Sapnap: We're listening</p><p>Tommy: Ok so there's no real way to sugarcoat this</p><p>Tubbo: ?</p><p>Tommy: the scientists are back in full force, and I think they might be after something</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy sighed as he put down the phone. Staring at the wall, a door opening alerted him to his thoughts. He stared at a fashion disaster.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What the actual hell are you wearing?" It was probably unwise to ask his <em>boss </em>that, but he couldn't stop himself.</p><p>Wilbur pouted, but the effect was lost in the unimaginable rage Tommy felt. His brain was shorting out, his mind was doing cartwheels around a large that said <em>What the everliving fuck?</em></p><p>Wilbur had on a yellow sweater. Now, usually this would be enough to only get an odd look from the blonde but <em>no.</em> Things were never that easy.</p><p>Paired with the horrendous neon yellow sweater was a red beanie. With <em>brown pants.</em></p><p>Was this man <em>trying </em>to get mauled?</p><p>"Wilbur- oh my god, Wilbur, <em>what</em>?"</p><p>"Seriously, what is it?" He whined. "Do I have something on my face?"</p><p>"Do you- do you have something on your <em>face</em>? How about your entire <em>body</em>?"</p><p>The brunette blinked. "What's wrong with it?"</p><p>"You look like you just climbed out of a carnival, you <em>clown.</em>" That elicited a startled laugh from his boss. "Tommy-"</p><p>"No, I can't take this. I physically can't to this anymore. Are you going out in public looking like that?" Wilbur's laughter only got louder. "Tommy please-"</p><p>"Stop. No amount of begging can stop me now. Wilbur fuckin' Soot, esteemed hero and musician, I am going to burn that fucking outfit, you get to decide if it's still on your body when I do."</p><p>"Are you threatening to kill me, Tommy?"</p><p>"I certainly could if I wanted." Tommy paused. "Not because you're weak or anything, but I would be filled with just the perfect amount of white hot rage to slaughter you with my own two hands. Now tell me where you're going so I can escort you to your clown car." Wilbur was bent in half at this point, gasping for air. "Was- I was just going to go get coffee." He giggled, muttering the words <em>clown car</em> under his breath. "You seem extremely worried about my outfit, Toms."</p><p>"Don't even think about calling me that while you're in that stupid fucking outfit. I can't believe I work with you, now show me where you live so I can see what other abominations I have to work with."</p><p>"T-Tom-"</p><p>"It's a Saturday, and I refuse to associate with people who wear shit like <em>that</em>." He spat out the last word as if it was a cuss. "Take me to your house or I <em>will </em>find it myself." Wilbur typed something in his phone for a moment before handing it to Tommy. On it was a GPS tracker that said home in all caps, and Tommy sighed, mentally noting it down. "Good. Let's go, I font want to be seen in public with a runaway from the circus any longer then I have to, and take that stupid beanie off." He ripped said stupid beanie off.</p><p>Wilbur's eyebrows raised, and he muttered under his breath <em>friendship, toxic addition.</em></p><p>The blonde paid no mind to it, instead electing to grab his friend's(?) arm and drag him away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy stared at the closet in front of him.</p><p>This was<em> not ok.</em></p><p>This was not ok on <em>so </em>many levels. How many ugly pants and sweaters did this man own?</p><p>Was that a fucking neon pink and green sweater he just saw? The experiment almost frantically darted his eyes back, every fucking piece of shit clothing setting off his fight or flight with a new fun and interesting third option- scream.</p><p>"What are you going with that jumper?" Wilbur looked over his shoulder.</p><p>"Wilbur." Tommy's voice was quivering. "What the fresh hell is this?"</p><p>"It's... a sweater?"</p><p>The world ended. The sun exploded, the earth dried into a small little fuck. The water evaporated. The seas were gone.</p><p>"You mean you kept this on purpose!?"</p><p>"I got it?"</p><p>Tommy was this close to wringing the older's neck before sending him into the stratosphere. "Listen here you little shit-"</p><p>Wilbur was laughing again. "No-"</p><p>"Wilbur, I'm destroying this and there's nothing you can do about it-"</p><p>"Toms-" He cut himself off with a wheeze.</p><p>"No, no- shut up, <em>shut</em> <em>up</em>- <em>If you say another word then I'm going to shove an unbuttered spatula so far up your ass that your sphincter is going to be singing the Geneva convention for the next two years, I'm burning this and maybe burning you as well."</em> The blue eyed boy threw the freak of nature on the ground before rifling though the closet to find any more.</p><p>Soon, most of Wilbur's closet was in a pile. Tommy stared at him, disappointed. "Wil."</p><p>"Toms."</p><p>
  <em>"Wil."</em>
</p><p>"<em>Toms."</em> The man was smiling at him tenderly from the ground, opting to go and tune his guitar whilst he watched his younger brother figure absolutely destroy the quiet peace of his room. "Wanna tell me what you're planning to do with all those clothes?"</p><p>"Wilbur, I am burning these clothes."</p><p>"Oh yeah?" The man set down his guitar before ruffling Tommy's hair and <em>oh.</em></p><p> </p><p>Wilbur stared at the uncomprehending look on Tommy's face. His pupils were wide, and the man looked blissed out of his mind. The hero hesitantly lifted his hand off the surprisingly soft curls. "Tomm-"</p><p>His hand was grabbed and placed gently back on Tommy's head with the simple command of "Again." He complied, carding his hands though Tommy's hair before realising. Tommy opened a bleary sleepy eye. "Mm?"</p><p>"Tommy, do you like when I do that?" Too drowsy to deny anything, said boy made an incoherent grumble and head-butted the man's hand, huffing.</p><p>
  <em>"Aww, Tommy!"</em>
</p><p>The boy grumbled once more before reluctantly leaning away from the touch. "Wilby, I-" He choked on his own words to look at Wilbur, thinking the man hadn't heard him. He was wrong.</p><p>The absolute wave of tenderness and love that assaulted him when he met Wilbur's eyes was astounding. Overwhelming. "Did you just call me Wilby?"</p><p>"No-"</p><p>"Did you just fucking call me Wilby?" Tommy stiffened, completely forgetting the fact that Wilbur could also be hiding his face and was <em>angry</em>. He looked away, ears flattening to the back of his head as he caved in amongst himself, now the poster child for an upcoming anxiety attack. "S'rry."</p><p>Wilbur was quick to reassure him. "No- no, I'm not upset. I really like the name actually, Wilby is adorable."</p><p>Tommy was quick to snap back, a furious flush dusting his cheeks. "I did not call you <em>Wilby."</em></p><p>Wilbur giggled. "Of course."</p><p>
  <em>"I did not!"</em>
</p><p>"Do you wanna call me Wilby, Tommy? Do you want to call me Wilby?" Said boy scoffed and averted his eyes because <em>fuck </em>Wilbur and <em>fuck </em>Wilbur's nice warm words and kind smiles and a scent that smelled faintly of cookies and old books and everything relatively pleasant. "No fucking way, dickhead, not a chance in hell."</p><p>Wilbur cooed again. "Aw, Toms, you can call me Wilby if you want, you can. I won't mind."</p><p>Tommy turned. "I'm burning this stupid fucking stupid hell stupid goddamned sweater first. Do you only own sweaters? I saw like, two short sleeves in here."</p><p>"Sweaters are comfy."</p><p>"In the middle of bloody <em>July</em>?" The man nodded hesitantly.</p><p>Tommy squinted.</p><p>(He knows a liar when he sees one.</p><p>He also knows that Wilbur is just a tad too underweight, and the pieces click together in the sixteen year old's mind.)</p><p>"Shame, you're perfectly fine when you show off." He turned, face indecipherable.</p><p>"Tommy?" The boy gently took ahold of the hoodie that he'd seen Wilbur wear so many times, when he could practically feel the self hatred wafting off the man, flexed his claws before ripping it in half and destroying the fabric entirely. Wilbur's jaw dropped open. "T-Toms, what?"</p><p>"I'm getting rid of that one first." He threw the shreds of the black hood on the ground, looking at it as if it'd offended his family.</p><p>(In a way, it had, hadn't it? Every time Wilbur slipped on the uncomfortable fabric of his self-hate hoodie, it had taken a toll on him, he couldn't bear to see his arms and stomach because all that stared back at him was a burden and a disgusting-)</p><p>"Hey." Wilbur looked up. Tommy stared, face once more unreadable. "Focus on now." He reluctantly put a hand on the man's shoulder, sensing that the elder needed it.</p><p>
  <em>How'd he know?</em>
</p><p>The blank stare that Wilbur decided did <em>not</em> belong on such a young face, much less Tommy's, melded into a half forced smile. "Cmon, I'm destroying your clothes, bitch. Nothing you can do about it, now watch me or go back to tuning your guitar." </p><p>Wilbur smiled, and his voice came out a bit wobbly. "Alright, Toms. Show me what you're capable of, big man." He leaned back and grabbed his instrument, deciding that everything, just right now, was pretty alright. He strummed lazily to the background noise of full bellied laughter and the ripping of fabric.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. That's right boys its just more fluff</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ayo?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, what songs can you play?" Tommy gestured to the guitar. "M' curious."</p><p>"You want to hear me?" Wilbur shook his head. "Nah, I'm not very good I'm afraid, it's not-"</p><p>"I'm sure you are. Even if you weren't that good, the first step to being kinda ok at something is sucking at it first. Just imagine when I tell all your fans that I heard you play before you came an internet sensation, eh? I'll get loads of like, <em>oh, the great and handsome Tommy, how did he do it, how did he get so good?</em> And then I will not answer them."</p><p>Wilbur did that stupid little tender laugh-smile at Tommy again. "Alright then, Toms. Just for you, my number one fan." He picked up his guitar nervously and began strumming once more before letting the song flow from his lips.</p><p>"Well it's 2:45 pm."</p><p>Tommy sat there, entranced by the song. The tip of his tail flicked with interest, and he leaned in, ears completely perked up. His mouth was open a little, and his eyes were wide.</p><p>
  <em>This is a pretty good song. Wil's a good singer.</em>
</p><p>Too soon did the song finish, and Wilbur looked up, nervous once more. "How was it?"</p><p>Tommy grinned. "Wil, that was so fucking pog! It was amazing! But uh, that thing about depression...?"</p><p>"Ah, yeah." Wilbur grinned a bit. "Just a lyric. Don't pay too much attention to it."</p><p>Tommy hummed before getting up and stretching. "I'm already worried, you can't stop me. But I can deal with that later, what we need to deal with now is getting you some wearable clothes." The teen gestured to the shreds scattered across the floor. "You up for some shopping?"</p><p>"That... Was like, all of my clothes-"</p><p>"Sorry, but j had to do it. All your clothes were uh..." Tommy paused. "Still in the eighties."</p><p>"Tommy."</p><p>"Wil." The two stared at each other. The blonde broke eye contact first. "Sorry about ripping up all your ugly clothes. It wasn't too poggers of me to do that, ey?" His tail lowered and his ears leaned back as a small frown decorated his face. Wilbur shook his head. "No, Toms, it's all good! I told you you could, yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Well there we go, no one to blame for it but myself. You said you wanted to go shopping for new clothes with me, yeah?"</p><p>Said guy nodded. "If I let you go out there on your own who knows what you'd buy. Let's go."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy stared at the store with wide eyes. "Oh my god."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"This store is expensive. They've got the nice sleek walls 'n shit."</p><p>"It's not that expensive." </p><p>"No, Wilbur, you don't understand, I'm poor. If I set foot in that store the workers are going to fucking execute me on the spot. Public execution."</p><p>"I sure hope they won't. Come along, Toms."</p><p>"Wil-" He was dragged into the store by the older man.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"How about this?" </p><p>"Wilbur if I see you holding another neon colored sweater then we're going to have problems."</p><p>"...I'll go put it back."</p><p>Tommy glared at the softer colors before his eyes widened. "Oh hell yes. Wilbur, c'mere!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Put this on."</p><p>"Ok...?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The blonde paced outside of the waiting rooms. He tapped his nails together before a voice hit his ears. "Toms?"</p><p>Tommy looked and <em>hell yes.</em> "Oh fuck yeah."</p><p>"It's just a peach sweater?" The man looked at the sweater. "I don't really see what's so great about it."</p><p>"Wilbur, listen, peach is a good color on you, as well as white and grey. Black and brown and dark blue are good colors on you. Neon yellow and green is not, unless you want to look like you're fresh out of elementary school."</p><p>"Wh-"</p><p>"But I have to say, this is just a perfect look on you. The soft peach sweater paired with your plain black pants and shoes, uh hold on-" Tommy placed a black beanie on Wilbur's head, having to stretch on the tips of his toes to reach it. "There we go, ten outta ten! You look, dare I say it, handsome."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yup! How much is it though?" Tommy grabbed the price tag before cardiac arrest hit him like a train. "Oh, what the <em>fuck."</em></p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Thirty five dollars for just a sweater- I can't afford this, Christ."</p><p>"Wh?" Wilbur paused. "Tommy, I'm going to be paying."</p><p>"What."</p><p>"I'm... Going to be paying?"</p><p>Tommy blinked. "But I destroyed all your shit."</p><p>"And now I'm going to pay for a new one."</p><p>"Wilbur."</p><p>"Toms."</p><p>"How am I supposed to pay you back, though? Dunno if you noticed, but I don't exactly have the most cash. Do I have to pay it back in-"</p><p>"You don't have to pay me back."</p><p>Tommy winced. "Oh god, those are such weird words to hear- just tell me what I have to do, no need to lie to me."</p><p>"I'm serious! You can pay me back by helping me figure out more outfits, Phil and Techno are going to be overjoyed when they see what I wear now."</p><p>"Phil and Techno as in..."</p><p>"Philza and Technoblade, yes."</p><p>"Why'd they be overjoyed?"</p><p>"Oh, well Phil's been trying to get me to change my style forever, and Tech threatened to shred all my clothes, you beat him to the punch."</p><p>"But why?"</p><p>"Techno also told me that if I kept dressing like a unicorn puked on me then Phil'd disown me."</p><p>"Dis-disown?"</p><p>"Phil's my dad."</p><p>"..." Tommy stared. "Oh my god, it all makes sense. Does that mean that Technoblade is your brother-"</p><p>"He is my brother, yes."</p><p>"...Wild." Tommy didn't want to spend his last two precious braincells trying to comprehend <em>that.</em></p><p>Wilbur laughed. "Yesh, I guess."</p><p>Tommy ushered his friend back into the dressing rooms. "Well, if you're going to be paying then I have so many more clothes for you to try. Put these trousers with this shirt on, it's gonna look great."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wilbur flopped on his bed. "I don't think I've ever seen quite so many clothes in my life, Tommy."</p><p>"At least you look stylish?" The boy offered. "Don't worry, now when a woman sees you she'll be like <em>oh wow he's so hot</em><em>-"</em> Wilbur choked. "T-Tommy!" He whipped his head around to face Tommy, cheeks bright red. "Do you have no filter?"</p><p>"I have a very good filter actually, the things that I want to say are much, much worse." The older man groaned and collapsed on his bed once more. "You are disgusting. Horrible. Bad child."</p><p>"Not a child."</p><p>"Child. Itty bitty tiny boy."</p><p>Tommy huffed. "Piss off." After a moment, he got up, stretched his back and grinned. "You'd react like that though? A woman just comes up and you're all <em>uh-uh- I d- I c-"</em> He sung, dancing around the room.</p><p>Wilbur grinned. "You're so bloody peppy, how do you do it?"</p><p>"An unhealthy amount of my famous mix."</p><p>"What's in your famous mix, Toms?"</p><p>"Five hour energy, Gatorade, Red bull, Monster, kool aid powder, and a shot of vodka." Wilbur choked. "No way that's real. That's not real, right?"</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Aren't you too young to be drinking?"</p><p>"Aren't you too old to be alive?"</p><p>Wilbur choked again. "As your boss, I am asking you to please stop drinking that."</p><p>"As your employee, I respectfully decline."</p><p>"...At least stop putting vodka in it. Christ, what are you, twelve? That's gonna mess up your brain."</p><p>"I know, and I'm not twelve. I'm a big man, bigger then all the rest. My body screams testosterone and I have very very big muscles. Bodybuilder- actually no, that many muscles is kinda gross- I am very strong, just take my words for it."</p><p>"I wholeheartedly believe that you're a skinny twig."</p><p>"Wh- really?"</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"You're awful, I am so strong. The strongest."</p><p>"Ok, Tommy."</p><p>"No one is stronger."</p><p>"Of course." Wilbur patted the shorter's head after they got seated, running his hand through the silky curls. After a few minutes of lightly scratching the boy's scalp, he was rewarded with soft... rumbling?</p><p><em>No,</em> his eyes went wide. <em>He's purring!</em></p><p>Tommy looked completely content, his face was slightly chubby, Wilbur had realised. He looked like he was sixteen instead of eighteen, a thought that Wilbur was never able to get rid of. The blonde boy was smiling as if he'd never been hurt, and Wilbur noticed that <em>oh, he trusts me enough to let his guard down. He's practically laid in my lap, and trusts me enough to do this.</em></p><p>The chestnut haired man chuckled softly, and hummed a quiet melody as Tommy simply <em>was</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"-ommy? To-"</p><p>Huh?</p><p>"ms, wake u-"</p><p>What?</p><p>"Tommy?" The boy slowly opened his eyes. Wilbur was grinning at him, a clear fondness in his eyes. "Welcome back to the world of the living."</p><p>"Did..." The experiment started. "Did I fall asleep on you?"</p><p>"Yeah, it's alright though, I didn't mind." Whisper didn't mention how the other had started shaking and whispering <em>no </em>over and over in his sleep, how his ears pulled back and how prominent the eyebags on his face suddenly seemed to be.</p><p>"..Sorry."</p><p>"It's fine, really. Although, you should get back home now, it's getting kinda late." The other checked the time, eyes widening. "Shit, you're right."</p><p>"Want to meet up again tomorrow?" Tommy paused, which prompted Wilbur to keep talking. "Sorry, I just really enjoyed your company."</p><p>"...Alright. When and where?"</p><p>"I'll just text you the details- wait, you don't have my number- uh, here." He fiddled with his phone for a moment before holding it out, the screen read <em>add contact</em>.</p><p>The other punched in his digits and quickly got up. "I've gotta leave."</p><p>"See you tomorrow, Tommy."</p><p>"Bye, Wilby!" Tommy hopped out of the window, floating down for some off reason.</p><p>Wilbur only later realised that Tommy'd accidentally called him Wilby, and smiled, cooing to himself. "Aw, Toms."</p><p>He would protect this boy with his life, and maybe, just maybe, he would learn the secret that the other held so tightly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Court jester: (writhes on the ground in pain because I fell) help me up please</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>HAHA you thought it was going to be angst!!! Jokes on you I'm saving that for a while while later<br/>Savor the peace whilst you can, cowards</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Whisper." The hero turned quickly. The vigilante, Atlas stood there.</p><p>"Atlas." Wilbur was already reaching for his com's, ready to call for backup when the illegal hero slapped his hand away from it. "Chill, I'm not here to start shit. I heard you might need this, and since I'm such an amazing fucking person, decided to give it to you."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Just read it."</p><p>The brown eyed man scanned the paper, eyebrows shooting up. "What the hell? Where'd you find this?"</p><p>"Nowhere important. But..." Tommy started. "Whis- no, Wilbur, listen, ok? Don't fucking mess with them. Don't fuck with the assholes who did this."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"What the hell do you mean why-" He took a deep breath. "They're bad news, really bad news. I know we aren't on good terms, you an me, but for the love of fucking god and everything holy, <em>don't mess with them.</em> They're more dangerous then you can handle."</p><p>"We have to stop them."</p><p>"No you don't, just let me-" He sighed. "God, you are so fuckin' annoying. Don't mess with them, or else they're gonna hurt you and then ones you love in irreversible ways. You can't just bounce back to how shit was before after you see what they do, what they did." He turned, ready to just fuck off from the conversation when a hand grabbed his wrist. Whisper stood there firm, and stared down the shorter male. His eyes were worried, something Tommy was only used to seeing out of uniform. </p><p>"Atlas, what did they do to you?"</p><p>After a moment, the boy in question let out a bitter laugh, one that was the hero's way of saying <em>not enough to keep me down</em> and the coward's way of saying <em>I don't want to talk about it.</em> Regardless, he pushed on.</p><p>"God, Wilbur, what didn't they do to me? What didn't they-" he sniffled. "What the hell did they not do?" He leaned back and wiped his eyes quickly. "Just fucking stay away from them. You're one of my favorite heroes and I don't wanna see you dead or worse just yet." He ripped his wrist away and scaled down the building.</p><p>Whisper looked back to the list, a heavy feeling settling in his gut.</p><p>
  <em>SS-rank: only one. Strongest there is, the scientists could make only one of these. The SS ranked monster is sentient and has the mind of a human sixteen year old, they were able to escape the facility. They look relatively human but aren't one anymore. Near impossible to continuously contain, and extremely powerful. They're not a threat to you as of now though, so don't bother them.</em>
</p><p>Wilbur's mind was glued on a sentence.</p><p>
  <em>"They look relatively human but aren't one anymore."</em>
</p><p>Anymore?</p><p>He was reminded that this could possibly be a teenager.</p><p>
  <em>"The mind of a human sixteen year old."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Escape the facility."</em>
</p><p>(The SS rank was never in control of their fate, he realised dimly.)</p><p>They had to find this SS rank, now.</p><p>This person.</p><p>The teen.</p><p>(His thoughts drifted to Tommy, and a panicked call from Sam he'd gotten one lazy afternoon.)</p><p>Wilbur had an idea of where to look first.</p><p>(<em>"What do you mean a metal plate on Tommy, Sam?")</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The sex havers (+sapnap)</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Tommy: god these names are too formal now</p><p>Tuberculosis: agreed</p><p>
  <em>Tubbo gas changed Tubbo's name to Jar of bees</em>
</p><p>Tommy: why</p><p>Jar of bees: jar of bees</p><p>Tommy: got it</p><p>
  <em>Tommy has changed Tommy's name to Trauma! At the disco</em>
</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: nice</p><p>Jar of bees: nice</p><p>Sapnap: hmm</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: no</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has changed Sapnap's name to Court jester</em>
</p><p>Court jester: why</p><p>Trauma! At this disco: I'm never letting you live it down</p><p>Jar of bees: shakes jar of bees menacingly</p><p>Trauma! At this disco: anyways I gave Whisper the list</p><p>Court jester: whisper the listper</p><p>Jar of bees: great!! Awesome!! What's the next step</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: no idea! I'm meeting up with Wilb tomorrow though</p><p>Jar of bees: ooo I hope it goes well</p><p>Court jester: yuh</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: me too</p><p>Hopefully he doesnt notice the several glaring red flags that something is wrong and I'm not a normal person</p><p>Jar of bees: hopefully</p><p>Court jester: he just jinxed it again lmao</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I don't need your sass jester boy</p><p>Court jester: ye-ouch! (hits you in the face with a coconut cream pie)</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: STOP TRYING TO ROLEPLAY WITH ME THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK</p><p>Court jester: dhsbsvsjssn</p><p>Jar of bees: I tackled him</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: valid</p><p>Court jester: I demand a restraining order</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: overruled.</p><p>Court jester: can I at least get a </p><p>Trauma! At the disco: no</p><p>Jar of bees: no</p><p>Court jester: tommy ik youre going to say the line, just do it</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: cry for us court jester</p><p>Court jester: how many times has he made this joke</p><p>Jar of bees: like five times</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: it doesn't get old, fuck you</p><p>Court jester: :/</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: abuse</p><p>Court jester: child abuse</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: we are LITERALLY the same age</p><p>Court jester: lol. Lmao. </p><p>Trauma! At the disco: were it not for the laws of the land I would've slaughtered you</p><p>Jar of bees: we don't follow the law</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: oh yeah</p><p>:)</p><p>Court jester: YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO REMIND HIM</p><p>Jar of bees: just say no, he can't murder you if you don't give consent</p><p>Court jester: Thomas i am saying No </p><p>Trauma! At the disco: you get away this time</p><p>Court jester: (leans back in my chair to kick my feet up on the table but leans back too far and falls over)</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: tubbo</p><p>Jar of bees: putting another mark on the "when sapnap has tried to rp with us in the groupchat" tally</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: what number are we at big man</p><p>Jar of bees: gimme a second I have to count</p><p>Uhhh</p><p>Seventeen times in the last month</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: incredible</p><p>Court jester: (writhes on the ground in pain because I fell) help me up please</p><p>Jar of bees: (kicks you) eighteen</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Wilbur Soot</strong>
</p><p>Wilbur Soot: Tommy?</p><p>Tommy: Wilbur</p><p>Wilbur Soot: Tommy!! Hello!! I </p><p>Tommy: ?</p><p>Wilbur Soot: have some questions to ask</p><p>Tommy: denied</p><p>Wilbur Soot: ,,,,please</p><p>Tommy: fine</p><p>What's up?</p><p>Wilbur Soot: so</p><p>I got some information about our current case</p><p>Tommy: oh?</p><p>(There's no way, Tommy thought. He hadn't pieced things together this easy, right?)</p><p>Wilbur Soot: Would you be available for questioning tomorrow?</p><p>Tommy?</p><p>Tommy: Sorry, just dropped my phone. Yeah, I'm good, but why?</p><p>Wilbur Soot: I have some concerns.</p><p>Tommy: and we can't address them now?</p><p>Wilbur Soot: Toms.</p><p>Tommy: Just curious. We can meet at a coffee shop I know? It's got good food.</p><p>Wilbur Soot: sounds good with me</p><p>Tommy: I'll send you the address in a minute. Does twelve sound good?</p><p>Wilbur Soot: great</p><p>Sorry if I've made things uncomfortable, I just want to make sure of a few things</p><p>Tommy: It's fine</p><p>Here</p><p>
  <em>Tommy has sent one link!</em>
</p><p>Tommy: the link for the shop</p><p>See you at twelve</p><p>Wilbur Soot: see you!!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The sex havers (+sapnap)</strong>
</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: PROBLEM</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco sent one image</em>
</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I actually jinxed it what the fuck</p><p>Court jester: oh jesus</p><p>Jar of bees: ...not good</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: YOU THINK???</p><p>Jar of bees: uhh use a draw tomorrow before you meet him? You said your cards would help you out of any situation, right?</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: that's... Not a bad idea actually</p><p>Thanks tubbo, sapnap</p><p>Court jester: (does a little dance, but joyfully)</p><p>Jar of bees: (kicks you again) nineteen</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy sighed, straightening his shirt. He wore a simple combination of a black turtleneck, black pants, and white combat boots. He examined himself in the mirror, tidying up little parts of his appearance before heading out, electing to float out their window instead of going though the door like a normal person due to the fact that there would be at least one joke about how edgy his outfit looked.</p><p><em>It's not edgy, </em>he rmemebered telling them. <em>Modern! Mod-ern!</em></p><p>They made jokes about it anyways.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy his in the bathtoom, preparing himself mentally before manifesting his deck. It had changed over the years, from something that looked like a normal card deck to something more elegant, black cards with fancy golden font, and sleek illustrations of what each lower demonstrated. He loved it.</p><p>He spread them out on air as if a table were sat there, before picking one up and looking at it. He hummed in confusion, proofing his cards out of existence and looking at his hands.</p><p>"Illusion?" He muttered. "What's that gonna help?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Tommy is allowed to owo. Once.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catboy tommy says a horrible thing<br/>schlatt and Wilbur friendship pog? Its more likely then you'd think</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It popped into his head a minute later and he mentally berated himself for wondering. There was a good chance that Wilbur wanted to see something, and he had to hide it from the man. His skin, his plate, his face, maybe. Tommy thought he could lie well, but one could never be sure. If worst came to worst he could make Wilbur forget, Tommy would drag him to an alleyway, and when the man woke up he'd spin a "terrified" story of how they got mugged, the hero tried to intervene, but then got hit in the back of the head and Tommy scared them away with his claws.</p><p>Maybe he was thinking about this too much.</p><p>He quietly left the bathroom, and made sure that he was able to use his ability without hitch. His eyes scanned the room before settling on a figure off in the corner. Wilbur was leafing through a book, enraptured by the story if his face was anything to go off by. The blonde ordered the most bright and obnoxious colored drink he could because damnit, this might've been an interrogation but he wanted to be unprofessional! Calling him to <em>get interrogated</em> about him possibly being a <em>human experiment.</em></p><p>On his day off, no less.</p><p>Tommy was not happy.</p><p>He hesitantly tapped Wilbur's shoulders, not expecting the jolt the man made. Wilbur looked over and smiled. "Ah, Tommy! There you are. Again, apologies for dragging you here."</p><p>"Not like I had anything better to do." He had several things that he could be doing right now, but the other didn't need to know. "So, uh, questions? This is an interrogation, so let's get started."</p><p>"Forward. Well then, Tommy, are you ready? If it's any consolation, this'll be fairly short."</p><p>"Not really, but I can't exactly deny an investigation. Let's start."</p><p>Wilbur nodded. "First off, where were you born?"</p><p>"London."</p><p>"Your parent's names?"</p><p>"Grey and Melody Smith."</p><p>"Which hospital were you born in?"</p><p>"Ah, I'm not aware of that, I'd have to ask."</p><p>"Fair." Wilbur wrote something down. "We're just blowing through these questions, huh? Name your past schools."</p><p>"Uh, I went to the Hope's peak trilogy." The hope's peak trilogy was mostly a front for the scientists to launder money, but he didn't need to know that.</p><p>"All three?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Wilbur nodded. "Where'd you used to live?"</p><p>Tommy shrugged. "We moved when I was like, three, I don't remember and my parents never told me because they never deemed it as important."</p><p>"Also fair. Do you have any references you went to cal to confirm all this?"</p><p>"I don't. Don't know about you, but I was a weird gangly kid, had no friends whatsoever."</p><p>"If its any consolation, I only had Niki? I was pretty much the same."</p><p>Tommy nodded, you know, like a liar. All the answers for the questions he had thought he'd be getting were working so far. Wilbur looked down again at his book. "Well then, that's about it."</p><p>"That's all?"</p><p>"Well, I have one more but it might sound a bit strange." Tommy froze. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Can I see your hand?"</p><p>"Eh?"</p><p>"Sorry, sorry! It's just, uh, I got a call from Sam a while ago, and just wanted to, um.." He grew less confident as he trailed off. "Check?"</p><p>"...Ok." Tommy slid his glove off (no, <em>his</em> glove, fuck you Dream-) and conjured an illusion. He held out his hand to the man who inspected it. "Huh." He reached out to brush his finger over the middle, but Tommy yanked his hand back.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Sorry, I just hit it yesterday, and I'm trying to not hurt it again." <em>Illusions don't cover textures, and the texture of an invisible metal plate on my hand is pretty damning.</em></p><p>Wilbur nodded. "Completely understandable. Can I see the other?"</p><p>"Sure?" Tommy slipped out his other hand, thankfully metal-free, and presented it to the man.</p><p>Wilbur practically glared at the offended hands before sighing and leaning back. "Alright, you're good. You can put the gloves back on."</p><p>Mentally cheering, Tommy slipped the fabric over himself and forced a confused look on his face that might or might not've been thanks to an illusion. "Am I allowed to ask you why you wanted to see my hands?"</p><p>"Its nothing, really."</p><p>"Do you..." Tommy trailed off, looking around, unaware of how to breach the sensitive topic. He leaned in slightly and whispered. "Do you have a hand fetish?"</p><p>Wilbur leaned back immediately. "Oh fuck no, I just-" He cut himself off. "God, you're really trying to get me to spill, Toms."</p><p>"Yeah, maybe." Tommy's name was called by the barista, and he looked up. "Gimme a minute." He walked up to the front and grabbed his drink, nodding to the lady who gave it to him. The boy then lazily walked back over and sat down, sipping his drink noisily. Wilbur looked away, struggling to keep a straight face.</p><p>"T-Tommy."</p><p>"Wilbur Soot."</p><p>"<em>Toms, please, I can't take you serious like this."</em></p><p>"Damn, sounds like a <em>you</em> problem." Wilbur giggled and looked at his <em>employee </em>with a shocked expression. "You work for me, can-"</p><p>"Not right now I don't."</p><p>"Tom-</p><p>"Saturdays are for the boys, bitch." Wilbur just laughed, loud and full. "You are so immature- I- I can't take it."</p><p>"I'm the most mature man ever." He boasted. "I am! I have huge muscles and-"</p><p>"Am very strong, I know."</p><p>"Damn right." Was this asserting dominance? He didn't know. Whatever it was, at least it was working...?</p><p>Wilbur looked up before humming. His eyes flicked back to Tommy, but it was too late.</p><p>Tommy looked behind him and <em>oh?</em></p><p><em>"OwO?" </em>He muttered under his breath. <em>"What's this?"</em></p><p>None other then Schlatt stood there, talking to the barista about what was healthiest and what had how many calories. Wilbur sighed, knowing what was coming.</p><p>Tommy turned. "It's Schlatt, dude!"</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Invite him over. Make friends."</p><p>"No! Are you crazy?"</p><p>After a moment of real thinking, Tommy nodded. "Yup, of course I'm crazy. And that is why I'm doing this." He got up and walked over to the man. "Hello there." The brunette looked at him curiously. "Hey there, kid. What's someone your age doing out at midday? Shouldn't you be in school or some shit?"</p><p>"I'm eighteen, and I'm actually very, very interested about talking about that one specific thing with you and my friend."</p><p>"Oh?" The man looked confused, to say the least, but he couldn't help the spark of interest that had been lighted. "Well then, let's talk about... that. Where's your friend?"</p><p>"Oh, you know, just over there. C'mon, we'll steal minutes out of your day, it'll be great." He pointed to Wilbur who was very discreetly looking the other way, embarrassed from how he felt singled out. Schlatt's eyes widened. "Oh damn, is that Whisper? I was in a mission with him a couple of day ago."</p><p>"Oh, I know. Just call him Wilbur, by the way. Help him stop being a little bitch, please."</p><p>Tommy cackled internally. I<em>'m going to make them such good fucking friends. I'm the best person ever. Finally, Wil's not going to be an antisocial little bitch!</em></p><p>What he realised a moment later was that Schlatt was a ram hybrid and had two large fluffy ears of the side of his head. Large ears usually meant better hearing, so he tacked on the words "Disregard that last part, Big S. Here, come, sit down. Wilbur, introduce yourself."</p><p>Wilbur smiled, fiddling with his sleeve. "I'm Wilbur, although you already know that, it's nice to meet you. Or, see you again, I should say." He held out a slender hand.</p><p>"Wilbur, huh? Your little friend, <em>I</em> <em>need you to give me your name too, kid</em>, told me your name was Wilbur Soot."</p><p>"Soot's just my last name, font think too hard about it."</p><p>"Oh yeah, I'm Tommy!"</p><p>"Just Tommy?"</p><p>"Thomas Innit Smith, if you want to be a little bitch about it." Both men choked on their spit. "But enough about us, tell us about <em>you</em>, Mr. Jschlatt. I'm mostly interested in your credit card numbers, but I'm sure Wilbur'd love to be friends with you." Leaning over, he sent his boss a very <em>"I'm doing this on purpose and there's nothing you can do to stop me"</em> like shit eating grin, the one he got back was nothing short of venomous. Schlatt grinned back. "Well, I just came here to snatch some coffee and be on my way, but there was this little blonde gremlin that invited me to his table to have a lovely chat with his boss and here I am. Nothing much other them that, though." Tommy's smile only got wider.</p><p>"Oh wow, really? Well Wil, why don't you tell him about you? We can have a little meet and greet, just the three of us."</p><p>Wilbur hated this little shit. He was going to fire him. "I have brothers, and I am a hero...?"</p><p>"More."</p><p>"Um..." He thought. "I've never tried... Hot pockets....?"</p><p>Clearly this was the right thing to say, as Schlatt's eyes lit up. Of course, what he just said was the absolute worst thing to say, because when Schlatt spoke, his voice had gone down about <em>twenty fucking octaves</em>. "You want me to tell you about hot pockets?" Tommy choked on his drink just the tiniest bit.</p><p>A lot of people seemed to be choking today, he noted absentmindedly.</p><p>Wilbur sighed. What was Tommy pulling here? Had he paid the other man to be friends with him or something?</p><p>At least the ram hybrid was interesting...?</p><p>"Schlatt." He leaned in. "I would absolutely <em>love</em> to hear about hot pockets."</p><p>He grinned. "All you had to say, Soot."</p><p>Tommy winced and discreetly inched away from the two.</p><p>It was, to say the least, not a very pogchamp moment. He muttered.</p><p>
  <em>"I came here to get interviewed, not watch two awkward antisocial full grown men try to befriend eachother."</em>
</p><p>When Tommy got back, he was repulsed at the sight. Not only were Schlatt and Wilbur still raking about hot pockets, but they were playing what looked to be tic-tac-toe on a piece of spare paper.</p><p>Since the experiment loved ruining most good things, he pulled the two apart. "Alright you two, now while I'm sure both of you'd like to have a cool sleepover or whatever people your age do, it's getting fairly late, and I don't feel like walking home."</p><p>Wilbur coughed, broken by his hardened glare at the paper. "But-"</p><p>"Not important as of now. Schlatt, me 'n Wilb just have to get going, so any last things y'all want to talk about before we scoot the fuck outta here?"</p><p>Schlatt leaned back, grinning a bit. Did this man ever not have a smug grin on? Whatever, it gave him a cool "bastardized from the family when I was young and proud" vibe, it was like he was about to sneak Tommy our of his house to go do something fun but also slightly illegal, maybe steal a stop sign, or graffiti.</p><p>Tommy has only done one of those, mind you.</p><p>"Nah, thanks for lettin' to me talk to him though. Real great guy."</p><p>Tommy grinned. "Glad you think so, Big man. Cmon Wilbur, let's dash." He pulled the other up and waved to Schlatt, scribbling on the corner of the of paper while his boss wasn't looking and slipping it into Schlatt's hands. The other unfolded it confusedly, before chuckling.</p><p>
  <em>Wilbur's number!!! Take good care of it loser</em>
</p><p>
  <em>***-***-****</em>
</p><p>He typed the digits into his phone and saved them for later. Shooting a nod at the kid, he turned to go get his drink from the barista.</p><p>The teen turned happily. Confused, Wilbur asked him what he did.</p><p>Tommy did not respond.</p><p>Schlatt walked up to the two. "I'll see you two around, then." The other man nodded, smiling softly. "See you around, Schlatt."</p><p>"See you, Tommy." He turned to the singer. "See you soon, too, maybe?"</p><p>Wilbur laughed. "Of course, Schlatt."</p><p>"Aren't you glad you came to the shop with me?"</p><p>"I hate you."</p><p>"Hey, I got you a friend. You literally said that Niki was your only, and I'm out here getting slandered? Bit-"</p><p>
  <em>"Tommy Smith."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wilbur Soot."</em>
</p><p>They stared at each other before Tommy broke eye contact. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll hear from him again soon. Then you can plan your next tic-tac-toe session later, hopefully with me not in it. It was weirdly intense, you two looked like you are about to fight."</p><p>"Wh- huh? What do you mean plan a tic-tac-toe session-"</p><p>"...Promise you won't get mad?"</p><p>"Tommy, what did you do?"</p><p>"I gave him your number."</p><p>"You..." Wilbur stared blankly. "You <em>what."</em></p><p>"You're antisocial. He's antisocial. A perfect match for bffs."</p><p>Wilbur reached out, but Tommy just leapt away from his hand. </p><p>"Get back here you little shit-"</p><p>"No thanks!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel like I dotn have to tell you guys this but c o m m e n t it gives me strength, it waters my flora, it plants my crops and hydrates my skin</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Mmmm.... Monkey.....</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angst<br/>Also important note at the end go see it you bafoolagins</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the short chapter, bad shit is happeing at home rn so I couldn't give you guys as lengthy an update as I wanted<br/>Enjoy anyways I guess</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy awoke feeling unusually numb.</p><p>Unusually apethetic.</p><p>It was horrible.</p><p>He got up and looked in the mirror, wincing. The teen looked terrible, his hair stuck up and his forehead had a sheen of sweat despite sleeping on the cold floor with no blankets.</p><p>
  <em>("I just sleep that way. I like it better than sleeping on a bed." He didn't, but a change was too confusing. Sleeping on cold stone floors to a soft, plush surface was jarring, and he didn't like it. On their first day out of the facility, he crawled out of the bed they all slept on and curled up on the floor instead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was all he'd ever known; could you blame him?)</em>
</p><p>His eyebags were prominent, and his eyes were dull. Tommy bit his tounge and shook his head. He was supposed to be cheerful, he was supposed to be happy. He had friends, he wasn't getting hurt by the scientists anymore, he...</p><p>He didn't want to move from his spot o the floor.</p><p><em>What am I doing?</em> <em> I have work.</em></p><p>Tommy didn't move.</p><p>Well, he was moving a bit. Shaking. Why was he shaking? Why couldn't he gather the motivation to move, damn it?</p><p>Wetness slowly crawled down his cheeks. What was this? What... What was going on?</p><p>(Emotions, Tommy thinks, are the worst enemy to have. You can't tell them to fuck off, you can't hit or punch or kick them away, you can't kill a feeling as easy as you can kill somthing that lives and breathes. Emotions don't leave, they don't disappear when you tell them that you hate them, they laugh and taunt you with what you don't want to hear, and you can't do <em>shit</em> about it.</p><p><em>Because at the end of the day, what Tommy was more scared of then emotions and torture and you aren't good enoughs </em> <em>was the concept of helping himself, was the thought that people might actually care.</em></p><p>"<em>Tommy?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"Hm?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you ever need anything..." Wilbur started. "Don't be afraid to ask, alright?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You can ask me too. We're here to help.")</em>
</p><p><em>Liars. </em>Tommy refuses to make the stupid mistake of trusting adults again.</p><p>
  <em>("Mister Tanaka?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What are you doing?")</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Are you alright?" The blonde groaned. "Peachy."</p><p>"Tommy, go home." A hand that was supposed to be comforting rested on his back, but it made his skin crawl. He turned to face Sam. "I'll talk to Wilbur, just... Go home, alright? You don't seem the best."</p><p>"I'm fine, Sam."</p><p>"You aren't."</p><p>He tried to smile kindly, but it felt more like a toothy grimace. "I'm fine, ok? Just didn't get enough sleep last night, big man. Thanks."</p><p>Sam paused before sighing. "Alright, Toms. Alright."</p><p>Tommy felt as if the topic wouldn't be dropped forever. "Just a bad day, nothing big. Gonna be over before you know it, and then you're gonna feel dumb for being so worrisome." He forced out a laugh. "Just cool your breaks, Sam."</p><p>Sam nodded. "If you insist. </p><p>"I insist. Just... Go take a break, I dunno. Calm yourself, have a carrot." He offered a baby carrot to the man. Sam blinked in confusion. "Where'd you get tha-"</p><p>"You're hallucinating. Go sit down, here." He gently guided the man over to his office. "Drink some water, take a breath, meditate or some shit. Maybe you're the one who needs to go home if you're hallucinating carrots."</p><p>"It's right there, in your hand-"</p><p>"Are you sure?" Tommy gulped it down in one swallow. "I don't think so."</p><p>"...I..." Sam was at a genuine loss for words. "Just... Go to your station."</p><p>"Okay." He proceeded to turn around and black out.</p><p>He collapsed while the sound of a terrified sizzle was let out by the creeper hybrid who was watching him leave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"-mmy?"</p><p>"T-"</p><p>"-omm-" </p><p>"Calm-"</p><p>"Oh my-"</p><p>He groaned and opened his eyes. Several figures were hovering above him. Puffy gasped. "He's awake!"</p><p>Sam let out a shaky sigh of relief. "Tommy, what the hell?"</p><p>The teen laughed nervously. "I think my legs gave out, I'm really sorry for causing such a fuss."</p><p>"When was the last time you slept?" The blonde blinked. "Eh?"</p><p>"Or ate?" The creeper stared at him accusingly. "Well?"</p><p>"Recently?" It came out more questioning then final, and Sam's eyes only squinted further in distrust. "I'm afraid I don't believe you. Tommy, are you overworking yourself?"</p><p>"No, no, of course not-"</p><p>"<em>Thomas</em>." The boy grimaced. "Ah, fine, I do take my work laptop home sometimes to do some extra stuff, but that's not important."</p><p>"It is! You shouldn't be doing that, and while i'm happy that you aren't slacking, working yourself to the bone isn't healthy."</p><p>"It's..." He trailed off. <em>I'm allowed to take breaks? Is that allowed?</em> "Allowed?"</p><p>"To- to take breaks?" Sam faltered. "Of course it is." By now, everyone but the two had left. "Are you..." He started. "Were you ever in a place where it wasn't?"</p><p>
  <em>("STOP SLACKING!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"P-please, I can't move anymore-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Get up now, or I'll give you something to cry about. You miss your sister, freak?")</em>
</p><p>"No."</p><p>Sam slowly pur a hand on his shoulder. "Tommy, go home."</p><p>"No. Sam, I'm fine now. It's fine."</p><p>"You obviously are not-"</p><p>"Just... Stop. Please." He blurted out. "Thank you, but I have work. Bye."</p><p>"Aren't your parents worried, at least? They-"</p><p>Tommy scoffed. "God, did you not really not read my profile? I'm a fucking orphan, Sam. I don't <em>have </em>parents. Thanks for the <em>lovely</em> reminder though." He turned and stormed out, angrily making his way to his station.</p><p>
  <em>He didn't know, he didn't. He didn't say it on purpose to taunt you. I'm overreacting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>("Take it, take the child." The blonde woman babbled on endlessly, unstable laughter coming from her mouth not a moment later. "God, just fucking take it. Anything to help you. I'd give my life for this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The woman was promptly shot in the forehead and killed on the spot, just like the father. They had no say in what happened to them, they never did. The scientists looked back at their newly made specimen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's eyes were open, how strange for a human.)</em>
</p><p>There was something called infantile amnesia. At least, that's what he thought it was called. NosNost people had it where they couldn't remember what happened before they were five years old.</p><p>Tommy did not have it.</p><p>He had a freakishly good memory in fact, some might call it photographic. The scientists were thrilled when they had figured it out, an added bonus to their already selectively bred experiment. They had kidnapped people with the more attractive traits to them, like smarts and strong powers, mixed with people who were unnaturally beautiful. They had got what they wanted in the end, an unnaturally attractive baby with an overpowered skill that could be trained and bettered.</p><p>The "donors" to the experiment were all killed after, of course. They had outlived their usefulness, and the cruel higher ups didn't care about how much they begged.</p><p>But something strange happened, there was not one, but two babies that were born. A girl, and a boy. At first, the scientists had thought they'd hit the jackpot with two miracles, but they were quickly proven otherwise. The girl had no power whatsoever. At first they all agreed to exterminate her, but then-</p><p>(<em>"Not yet." He had said. "Let them form a connection. Let them bond. Children are rebellious, and I have no doubt that if experiment 60-A were to act up, we can use 60-B to... motivate him to not do it again.")</em></p><p>People always said children were cruel, but no one was born evil. Tommy knows that the children, the youngers, always learn it from someone.</p><p>(Children are merely copying what they see in the adults, what they see in others.)</p><p>Children can be cruel, but adults will be worse.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>HULLO AUTHOR'S NOTE HI</p><p>Hullo y'all I have been getting some comments about Schlatt and Wilbur both saying that they were uncomfortable with people shipping them together!! Uh!!! I am deadass so sorry I had no idea I am never informed of anything ever (not my point-)</p><p>MY POINT IS that I'm going to be rewriting the chapters that have schlattbur in them and re-doing the story line if it involved any if that shit. Im hella sorry if I came off as an asshole or disrespectful to the people who commented about it and I didn't respond back (THANK YOU TO THE USER WHO GAVE ME THE TUMBLR ABT THE CC'S STATING THEIR BOUNDARIES N SHIT BTW I OWE YOU MY LIFE) so the next update will, unfortunately, take a while whilst I 🌟rewrite🌟 and try to capture a better depiction of their weird friendship that they have going on (using the IRL dynamic) uhhh but I'll try hard to capture the essence of whatever the friends have going on in their streams (no one knows, especially not them lol)</p><p>To make up for this HEINOUS CRIME, i was thinking.... Qna... For the characters..... (Don't be afraid to adk anything, I'm trying to make a chapter out of it)</p><p>Comment some questions you want to ask them down below, and I'll answer the ones that don't spoil stuff!!! Thank you all SO MUCH FOR READING and to all a good night (bows but trips over my feet and falls over) shit-</p><p>Update: I FIXD EVERYTHJNG UT SACFIRFICED MY ALEEP SCELDUALE IM TIRE D</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. QNA TIME BOYSS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Me? Putting lore in the qna? Its more likely then you'd think</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy shrieked as a small box popped up in his peripheral. It was grey, and had the words <em><strong><span class="u">Extratiredofyourcrap</span></strong></em> sat on the top. He edged towards it slowly, staring at the thing like it was a bomb. It could be. He didn't want to risk it.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong> <em>Tommy's sister died from a stomach wound, was she an f-class?</em> </strong> </span>
</p><p>He stared.</p><p>The box floated there, unnervingly. </p><p>"What the hell?"</p><p>Actually... Where was he? He looked around. The teen was floating in a white void, erased of any and all life, besides him. A piece of paper, besides the box-thing, floated in there. He snatched it up, reading the words out loud.</p><p>
  <em>"Answer the questions to leave. You won't remember this, DW lol. From Satan?"</em>
</p><p>How had he gotten here?</p><p>"Satan...?" He muttered. "Why?" A second later, a knife was embedded in his knee. He screeched, and made a mental note to not ask questions. "Ow- fuck- uh, my sister?" He turned back to the box. "I'd... Rather not talk about her. She wasn't an f-rank. E-rank, if I remember correctly. Apparently she was working with the scientists, even though I don't think she wanted it. Actually, was she an E-rank..? Not sure if I'm remembering correctly."</p><p>
  <em>("What rank was I?" A blonde ghost floated in a faraway forest. She stared at the strange, hovering box. "I was... Well, it's a bit weird to say, but I wasn't actually ranked. Not with any of the ranks, you've heard before, at least." She paused, and light gleamed off of a small plate made of what looked to be cheap scrap metal. They didn't even bother giving her anything of worth, the worn hospital gown and cheap smell of bleach could attest. "I was W-rank. Tommy was never told what it meant, so he might've forgotten." She paused once more, looking up. It was a lovely day in her opinion. She wished her firecracker of a sibling was here to witness it, but he'd probably break down crying at her grave once more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, the forest seemed slightly less peaceful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"W-rank stood for worthless. I was the only one who'd ever gotten it, my body wasn't even useful for scrapping. They eventually got tired of me, and killed me when Tom-" Clementine cut herself off. "That's a story for another day. I should-" She was cut off by the sounds of yelling. "Eh? What's happening?" Men in white coats cane into view, and she shrieked. "W-What!?" The spirit gasped for air, despite she had no lungs anymore, and desperately clawed at the men, but it was no use. Eventually, she stopped trying to attack them and started clawing her arms. Her voice was frantic. "No, no, no! What are they doing here, they shouldn't be here! I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, get OUT OF HERE<strong> NOW-"</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her screams fell on deaf ears as they dug her grave up and took her half-decayed corpse out. A stupid, ugly, horrible old man stood in a suit at the front. His dace was a bit creased with age, and he was balding and short. "Out it in the bodybag and transport it back to HQ. I want it undamaged."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes sir, Tanaka sir!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clementine watched numbly as they carefully transported her body onto a stretcher. Why were they taking-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, she realised numbly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh.)</em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong>"Tommy, how do you feel about the landlord having the same name as your sister?"</strong> </em> </span>
</p><p>He stared at it, tears pricking his eyes slightly. This was not a topic he was happy to stay on, but the faster it got him out... "My old landlord, you mean. It was kinda weird, because Clementine-" He choked on her name. "-isn't a common name. I don't really have an opinion on it, besides the fact that it kinda sucked whenever I had to call for her. She had to transfer ownership of the building to some prick, though. He makes us pay hella, and is a total asshole, shit was cheap up until his pompous ass came along."</p><p>"<span class="u"><em><strong>Tommy how long can you keep up the cat act?? How many cards can be activated and used at the same time, how's it like living with tubbo and sapnap, who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?"</strong></em></span></p><p>"Keep up the cat act...? What's that supposed to mean?" He shook it off. "If you're asking how many cards I can have activated at once continuously, it's three. The more cards I have on, the lesser my amount of time is. Like, my maximum is about two to three days, yeah? That's if one card was activated. If I had three going at the same time, I could probably hold them for..." He pondered. "Seven hours? I'm working on getting stronger and extending my limits, so there's that, too. It's difficult, but it rewards in the end."</p><p>He hummed as he read the rest if the question before chuckling. "Me and Sapnap are the big spoons, we all cuddle together relatively often. Like brothers, I tell you. The three of us are just like brothers. I don't like sleeping on the bed, though. We usually cuddle there, and then I'll slip out when they're both asleep. Don't like the feeling of a comfy matress, weird, I know."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sam blinked his eyes open. Where was he?</p><p>A box floated in front of his face, alalong with a piece of paper that read <em>Answer the questions to leave. You won't remember this, DW lol. From Satan.</em></p><p>The creeper hybrid floated in the abyss for a while, enjoying the silence that it brought. He was always so rushed to finish work, and it was always so loud if you were a hero. The quiet was nice. </p><p>He decided to meditate for a bit before answering the question. </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong>"Sam, what are your opinions on Tommy as a person?'</strong> </em> </span>
</p><p>"As a person?" He put his hand to his chin. "He definitely has little, if no regard for his own health, and always wants to help with something, so he's definitely selfless. I personally think he's great, although I might be bias since we're friends. He actually reminds me of myself when I was younger. Unsure, loud, but absolutely blazing with personality. The boy seems anxious about something, though." The man's voice echoed. The void seemed a bit colder.</p><p>".... I can't help but wonder what it is."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong>"Wilbur, where did you get the collar? Also how adorable is Tommy when you play with his hair?"</strong> </em> </span>
</p><p>"I got the collar at a pet store." He answered, already aware of his situation. "As for Tommy?" His smile widened. "He's <em>adorable.</em> Turns to putty in your hands when you do it, I swear."</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong>"What's your opinion on Tommy as a boss?"</strong> </em> </span>
</p><p>"That's difficult, to be honest." The brunette paused. "He's smart. People don't see it, but he definitely brings up the office morale by quite a lot with jokes and little gifts. It's nice. He can be unprofessional, but he only does that to people who are unprofessional back. He matches the energy of the people he's talking to, a difficult feat. I personally believe that Tommy is vastly smarter then everyone thinks he is, but he doesn't want people to know, for some reason." He stared at the question box again.</p><p>"The problem is that he's too quick to throw his health down the drain, and that he's impulsive. Not impulsive with important or big things, thank god, but he can be quite the firecracker sometimes. At the end of the day, he's a surprisingly helpful asset, and I'd hate to lose him." He nodded.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong>"What are your suspicions about Tommy? What about the egg, how much do you remember and how do you think he's connected?"</strong></em></span>
</p><p>"...What do those things have to do with each other?" His eyes widened. "There's something that you know, don't you?" He pointed at the box. "There's something you know what I don't." He sighed. "But you eknt tell me, will you. Even if you did, I won't even remember." He looked miserably at his shoes before taking a breath. "Now that you asked those two questions connected, of course I'm going to be suspicious. I was thinking that Tommy could've been an experiment, or at least worked with the scientists. He didn't have a tag though, and the rare times that we did spot a runaway human experiment, all of them had tags on their hands. Tommy couldn't be one, though. Most of them were feral, and I don't mean that in the funny lighthearted way. They weren't really, uh, functioning properly. Some just foamed at the mouth and screeched at us." His face contorted into something grim. He wasn't happy talking about this subject, but he had to answer to get out. </p><p>"Other times we saw them, they were graphic. Gore galore, I won't get too into it, but it was horrific." He thought. "Dream wanted us to all disregard it though. I don't know why. He kept acting like we should just have turned the other way, or something, which was weird. I can't imagine why he'd want that."</p><p>(He'll understand one day. Wilbur wishes that he hadn't.)</p><p>"As how Tommy is connected to the egg? Eh, that's a weird question. I don't remember anything-" He choked on the words before wincing in pain and touching his temple slightly. "What the...?"</p><p>(Tommy forgot one important thing- get all of the serum into their bloodstream. If a clumsy, bloodied person were to do it and remove the syringe halfway through....</p><p>Well, who knows what could happen?)</p><p>"I remember- I remember blue. A terrifying turquoise blue. I think they were the unknown person's eyes."</p><p>(What do you know?)</p><p>"I just remember thinking that what I saw wasn't human, or something. I wasn't afraid of it, though. Them? Yeah, I wasn't afraid of them, whoever they were, which is an odd thought considering the fact that they defeated literally <em>everyone in the area."</em></p><p>Wilbur looked around awkwardly. "So, back to Tommy's supposed connection to the egg, uh? I don't know? Does he have one?" The man recieved no answer back.</p><p>"H-Hello?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong>"Tommy, get some rest! When do you think you'll be able to tell everyone? How close are they to finding out, and what do you think they're going to think when they do know?"</strong> </em> </span>
</p><p>The blonde sighed "I don't- I don't know. I don't know that answers to any of those questions. I might tell them when I've brought down the organization and need proof getting them all in jail, I might never tell them. It's probably not likely that they're ever going to find out."</p><p>The void said nothing.</p><p>"That is, if no one else finds out first."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <strong>"What is Sapnap's job?"</strong>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>"Woah!" The teen jumped at the sudden appearance of the strange... Box? He leaned over to look at it. "Huh, weird..." He poked at it a bit more before shrugging and opening his mouth. "I work at a relatively shady company to code for them. It sure as hell isn't legal, but hey, they pay, so who's the real winner here?" He grinned. "Oh, also I take shifts at a bar sometimes as a bouncer and a bartender. I'm pretty strong, so it's funny when they see the guy who they thought wasn't a threat make them haul ass outta there."</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <strong>"How's it going with Karl and Quackity?"</strong>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>He blushed. "Shut up."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A box popped up in a dark room.</p><p>Huh?</p><p>(A question for me??? What??) I look at it.</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <strong>"More Karlnapity soon? If so, what direction is it going in?"</strong>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>"There is more Karlnapity soon, don't worry your little head, reader." I laugh. "As for the direction, I have a good one, but don't want to tell you yet." I say, you know, like a liar.</p><p>I have no direction for Karlnapity. This story dosent have a planned out storyline I'm just as in the dark about what's going to happen next as you. The only thing that might count as a plotline is all the plot twists in the future.</p><p>You fools, you thought I knew what I was doing the whole time!</p><p>"Jokes on you, even I don't know what comes out of my mouth half the time, how dare you even imply that I have any idea what's going on in here ever."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Theseus and Ariadne, two halves of a whole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Heavy gore in the beginning :)<br/>Clem's story</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(<em>"Tommy! Tom- help! Help, please! I don't-" She sobbed. "I'm afraid of death, Tommy!" </em></p><p>
  <em>He didn't move. He couldn't move. A scientist slowly walked over to a lever- the accursed lever that had taken so, so many lives. Clementine screamed. "TOMMY, PLEASE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"<strike>Y-You're not going to die, I promise! Just count down from ten, okay!?"</strike></em>
</p><p>
  <em>She sobbed, huge bluebird wings cramping uncomfortably. "Ten, n-nine, eight- s-seven-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her brother followed. <strike>"Six, five, four, three, two, one! See, you're fine, you're alright!"</strike></em>
</p><p>
  <em>She slowly smiled. "T-Tomm-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her insides spilled out, and <strike>Tommy</strike> watched in horror as the claw slowly retracted. She wheezed, attempting to stop the blood flow, but it was no use as blood cascaded down her face and her small intestine was brought back, stuck on the large mechanical killer. Her body convulsed in pain, and she weakly looked at the other. "You p-prom..ised..." One of the girl's eyes had popped out from the sheer force of the blunt blades that had pierced her flesh, and blood was gushing out like a fountain. The skin that had been ripped apart was already turning pink around the edges.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Theseus threw up. He was promptly kicked, and the scientists leaned down at him. Mr. Tanaka stared at him from above. "Tommy, hmm? What an adorable little nickname." The experiment was harshly slapped, and he fell in his own vomit, staining and ripping his hospital gown. "It doesn't suit you. Too nice. You're a filthy monster, understand? This wouldn't have happened if you'd just behaved like a good little boy." He gestured to the mauled corpse, and <strike>Tommy</strike> gagged again, this time stomach acid falling out of his mouth to mix with the bloody vomit he had excreted moments before. He allowed only a few tears to slip past his carefully crafted walls, although he refused to sob. What was he, two? Crying already made him look weak, pathetic. Tanaka shook his head. "Ah, Theseus, you know better then to cry. Crying is reserved for people, not things. Don't be stupid." He was hit again, and he made the mental note to do a draw from his deck later in hopes of getting regeneration of any sort. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You were a bad experiment, and this is your punishment. I really did not want to do this, I cared for her too, you know? I watched her grow, and I watched her evolve. I wish she could've become a nice young lady, but that just isn't possible anymore, is it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is she-" he cut himself off, feeling stupid and childish for speaking without permission. Just because his sister died didn't mean that he was suddenly allowed to break the simple rules set in place. Seriously, he was being such a fuck-up today. Tanaka nodded. "Speak."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is she allowed to have a proper burial, Sir?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No." The younger's eyes went wide, and he bit his tounge in a valiant effort to stay silent. He wouldn't get out of breaking the speaking rule twice in such a short amount of time unscathed, and he didn't feel like getting a concussion today. Mr. Tanaka hummed. "Well, I suppose if you do the rest of your tasks extra-well, I will think about it." The experiment perked up, nodding jerkily and saluting. "Good. I'll have someone escort you back to your room, wait until we retrieve you. Is that clear?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes sir. Thank you for your kindness, sir!"</em>
</p><p>"<em>Marvellous. Before you go, I want fifty push ups. Dont waste my time." With renewed vigor and the incentive of not failing his sister again, <strike>Tommy</strike> started to move to the side-</em></p><p><em>"Do it there, don't get in our ways while we observe." It was a shit reason, but Tommy didn't know that at the time. He got in position, nose wrinkling at the smell and sight of his vomit. He quickly completed his exercise, and although it left his arms shaking more than normal, he got up and saluted once more. Tanaka nodded. "Alex, take him to his room." A woman with a buzzcut and stern face nodded once, gripping his shoulder and steering the boy away from the carnage.</em> <em>Once <strike>Tommy</strike> left, one of Tanaka's coworkers turned to him. "You're going to give it a proper burial?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"Of course not. I hated that thing anyways, it was just something to waste resources on. We'll still get some labor out of a false promise, though."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sir-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't want to hear it. Clean the corpse and prepare to dispose of it in the pit."</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Sir, may I ask a question, Sir?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Proceed."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I have finished all of my tasks, Sir. May I request a proper burial for C- Ariadne, Sir?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The man made a small hand gesture to the other scientists, and they quickly restrained him. <strike>Tommy</strike> looked around worriedly. "Sir?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, she will not get a proper burial." He gestured to the other white-coated menaces who grabbed a familiar body. "N-" He choked. He didn't want to get hit, he didn't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His sister's one eye looked at him, but, he squinted, it wasn't glazed over. It wasn't dead, not in the way he had seen so many other's.</em>
</p><p><em>She was still alive. He struggled to escape their clutches, but despite his otherworldly base s</em> <em>trength, the five year old could only struggle. That didn't mean he didn't put up a good fight, it only meant that the adults got a dose of ketamine in him before that. Ketamine was a strange thing, it paralysed the human body in the correct amount, and killed it in high dosages. Soon enough, he stopped struggling as he had to watch his sister's very much alive body get thrown in the Pit.</em></p><p>
  <em>He closed his eyes and bit his tounge to stop the scream of agony, because what else was there to do?)</em>
</p><p>Heroes don't get happy endings, he had heard once.</p><p>
  <em>(Clementine had been crawling around in the Pit for a wile, but there seemed to be no escape. Only corpses. She stared up at her kid brother's terrified face, and wished for a moment that her last words weren't accusing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was a horrible older sister, and she wasn't going to escape. These were the two things she knew. She also knew of the story of Theseus and Ariadne. Theseus slayed the Minotaur-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>((<strike>Tommy</strike> continuously fought, braver and braver until he cowered and his from the fearsome beasts that plagued his world.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ariadne had fell in love with him at first sight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>((Clementine and <strike>Tommy</strike> met eyes, the two year olds babbling nonsense at eachother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She loved him immediately, and went in for a hug but got pulled away by one of the scientists.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had helped him away from the labyrinth, and they had sailed away together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>((The two were being brought to an odd room they had never seen before, what was it?)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then, Theseus had abandoned Ariadne, sailing off to be a hero.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because that's how the story went. As she watched her brother being dragged away, she couldn't help but think that <strike>Tommy</strike> looked like a hero. He was terrified, and vomit spilt down his face, but muscle was there; the power was there; the hardened glint in his eye that spoke of betrayal and determination and the newly ingnited fire of the need to survive had grown brighter. She smiled weakly, and clotted blood fell down her rapidly greying face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There were two ends to the story of Ariadne. In the first, she hung herself, unable to cope with the loss of her love. In the second, she is found by Dionysus and taken away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How tragic, that there were two ends for the tale, and only one end for her. But Clementine refused to go out just like that, she refused to go out without entertaining the invisible audience that watched. She was an actor, and had to finish the script whilst hundreds of hungry eyes watched, eager for the final tragedy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her hands were her noose, and death was her Dionysus.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bringing her quivering fingers up, she placed them on either side of her head and turned. As Clementine's vision blacked out, she felt the embrace of silence, of death. A whispered sentence, a tragic twist of harshly spilt out syllables writhed it's way out of her bloody chapped lips.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Goodbye, Theseus."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Heroes don't have happy endings, and she was a horrible twist of fate, something that should have never been.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clementine's cause of death: suicide.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy woke up terrified. His heart beat in his chest which was an odd sensation, because he'd felt it give out about half an hour ago. He groaned, looked at himself in the mirror, and what the fuck?</p><p>His skin was grey and clammy, and blood gushed down his front.</p><p>
  <em>Hm. That's nice.</em>
</p><p>The worst part is that his back fucking <em>hurt, </em>the biggest man ever was in <em>pain.</em> His vision swam as he reached and pulled himself up.</p><p>He brushed a hand on his back and almost screamed before retracting it as if they were burnt.</p><p>There were two rashes on his back, and he groaned. Today was not the day for some weird ass parasite to manifest in his body, he had <em>work.</em></p><p>Willing the pain to go away and also taking an unhealthy amount of pain meds, he stared at himself in the mirror. His skin hadn't gotten back to normal, and he in fact looked worse. It was now a complete gray instead of an odd looking peachy-pale-greyish tone, and he <em>hated it.</em> It just made him look like a corpse.</p><p>He groaned and grabbed the concealer from his cabinet, along with power for the rough nights when he'd get hit on the face during patrols and didn't want questions to be asked. The boy privately wondered if his heart had actually given out, and he slowly brought a hand to his neck.</p><p>There was no pulse.</p><p>Fear skyrocketed, and he maneuvered his way over to Sapnap's sleeping figure, shaking it. After a moment, there was a displeased grunt. "I'm up, I'm up. What is it?"</p><p>"Sapnap, check something for me right fucking now." The black haired man's eyes shot open. "Tomm- Why are you grey?"</p><p>"That's the problem, Sapnap, I don't have a pulse."</p><p>"...What?"</p><p>"My heart isn't beating."</p><p>His roommate quickly held out his hand and placed it on Tommy's neck. It felt warm, and Tommy was suddenly reminded of how he was legally a <em>corpse.</em></p><p>"Holy shit." He checked again. <em>"Holy shit? How are you alive?"</em></p><p>The blonde shrugged worriedly. "I don't know? I'm assuming this is some weird human experiment shit going on?"</p><p>"Probably."</p><p>"Also, this might be related to my uh, heart stopping, but I haven't needed to breathe either? Like, I can do it if I please, but I'm living just fine without it. Which is weird too. Again, I think I died?"</p><p>Sapnap passed out.</p><p>"Sapnap? Wow, didn't even get to tell him about my back pain. What a prick."</p><p>He went back to the bathroom to lather his body in concealer, glad that his casual wear covered up most of his body. After dabbing on some powder, he attempted to close the drawer, but a product got caught. He stared at the eyeliner.</p><p>The matte black liner stared back, and he sighed, electing to ignore how weird it felt to breathe now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Tom...my?" Wilbur stared at him. "Woah."</p><p>"Wilbur. Hi." Tommy waved a gloved hand lazily. "What's up?"</p><p>His boss took the boy's head in his hands and stared hard at his eyes. Tommy slapped his hands away. "What's wrong, don't think men can wear makeup? This shit's gender-neutral, bitch."</p><p>Wilbur shook his head. "No, no! Men can wear makeup, it's just..." He trailed off. "Weird seeing it on you, I guess? It looks fantastic, and I'll have to tell one of my makeup wearing friends later about how good you can pull off a cat eye, but I've just never seen you with it on."</p><p>"Mm, I'm sure that's the reason. I feel great though, I think it looks <em>handsome."</em></p><p>Wilbur chuckled. "Hell yeah it does."</p><p>Tommy groaned loudly. "Also guess what? I woke with horrible back pain, it hurts to even touch."</p><p>Wilbur looked up. "Let me see?"</p><p>"Wh- no?"</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Tommy sputtered. "Because it hurts?"</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Just forget about it, I'm sure it'll go away soon."</p><p>"...If you're sure."</p><p>"I am."</p><p>"Or maybe you're just getting old?" Wilbur proposed. "Old man innit?"</p><p>"I'm eighteen, big man! Although my birthday is in a week, so soon to be nineteen, I guess."</p><p>The brunette's head whipped around. "Your birthday is in a week?"</p><p>"Y-Yeah?" Tommy paused. "Why?"</p><p>Wilbur gasped loudly, drawing the attention of some passrbys. Phil looked up from where he was passing and stared at the two.</p><p>"You must have a birthday party! What day is it exactly? It it in an exact week? What do you want for a present? Do you like-"</p><p>"Uh, what's a birthday party?"</p><p>The office went deadly quiet. Almost everyone slowly turner to look at him, and he stiffened.</p><p>"D-Did I say something wrong-"</p><p>Chaos erupted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Parental unit time (Tommy is still dead)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy should've been rotting by now, so why isnt he?<br/>I noticed no one talked about the back pain yesterday :) you should pay attention to that :)<br/>:)<br/>:)<br/>:)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A BIRTHDAY PARTY IS!?" One of the interns, Charlie, if he remembers correctly yells. Tommy looks at the slime hybrid. "Wh-"</p><p>Puffy looks at him worriedly. "Would you like a birthday party, duckling?"</p><p>"What presents do you think he wants?"</p><p>"I dunno, man."</p><p>"Does he seriously not know what a birthday party is?"</p><p>Philza put a hand on his unusually cold shoulder, and his back stung more from the man's touch, most likely from how close it was to the painful areas. "I can set up a party at my house, Tommy, you just come over, alright?"</p><p>"I- what-"</p><p>"Party for Tommy! Party for Tommy!" Someone began to chant, and before he knew it, almost everyone joined in. Skeppy was in the back having the time of his life, Wilbur had come in at one point and immediately joined in the chanting since it was about Tommy, Phil had joined in with a giant grin, and Techno wasn't chanting, but he was pumping his fist in the air ever so slightly with his ears up, so that meant he was beyond enthusiastic to give Tommy a party.</p><p>"Can-" Tommy started as the crowd quieted down. "Can someone just tell me what a birthday party is? Please?" Phil smiled at him that made the living corpse's heart feel like it was pumping again. "Of course. A birthday party is when someone throws a party to to celebrate another's date of birth! It's usually celebrated with a sweet of some kind, and presents."</p><p>"And a party is a celebration, right?"</p><p>"Right." Phil nodded, slightly concerned. Did this child not know anything about fun or taking care of himself? It was beginning to become worrying.</p><p>Tommy pondered over this information. "But why would you celebrate someone's birthday? They just exist?"</p><p>"And that's what we celebrate! It's our way of telling them that we're happy that they're with us, and that we care."</p><p>The younger blonde blue screened. Celebrating one's mere existence? Just to show that they were happy that the other was alive?</p><p>They wanted to do that for him?</p><p>"You want to to that for me?" He looked up, confused. "It's just when I was born, there's really no big deal."</p><p>"But it is a big deal!" Wilbur cut in. "You were <em>born</em>! Brought into this world! Your parents must've been ecstatic!"</p><p>Sam flinched at those words before making several abort mission gestures. <em>Tommy's an orphan, you idiot!</em></p><p>"Seriously. Wait, are you going to invite them? Oh, we should invite your parents! Tommy, can we meet them?"</p><p>"Wilbur-" He started, but it was no use. </p><p>"Oh, we should meet them! Wait, what do they like? Should we bring gifts? Do your parents like cookies? I'm decent at making cookies, and also brownies. They're delicious. Tommy, what do your parents like?" He smiled brightly. Tommy's face slowly contorted more and more into sadness.</p><p>"I'm an orphan." Someone in the crowd choked before laughing. Wilbur's face dropped into an <em>oh shit </em>expression whilst Phil looked very <em>very </em>interested at this new piece of information.</p><p>So did Techno. "Orphan?" He slowly put his hand on the handle of his <em>Orphan Obliterater enchanted netherite sword</em>, to which Tommy proceeded with zero caution. "Yeah." He knew full well of Techno's weird hatred for orphans.</p><p>"You. Me. We fight at dawn."</p><p>"Sorry, I'm just too good. Train for a hundred years and come back when you think you can win." He said to one of the most powerful people in the country.</p><p>Someone in the crowd <em>oohh</em>'ed. Techno looked very insulted. "Trying to run from a fight, Tommy?"</p><p>"Nah, just trying to make sure that you don't get hurt too bad, would be a shame if your hero career ended this early into the game." He grinned. The two had slowly come face to face, Tommy had to stare up a bit at the taller. Wilbur came between the two, laughing. "Break it up you two, Tommy, stop provoking my brother. Techno, stop trying to fight all orphans when I'm here, you can do that when I'm not around to see."</p><p>"Aren't you going to try and stop him?" Wilbur's response to the question was immediate. "It's not my business what he does in his off time."</p><p>"...But-"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Okay." Tommy accepted this easily.</p><p>So, he might have to fight one of the strongest men in the country. Who hates orphans. Who could expose his identity to several people.</p><p>All he wanted to know was what a stupid fucking birthday party was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Wait, Tommy, do you know what this is?" Skeppy and Charlie had kept pestering him with images of things he didn't understand that apparently normal humans understood.</p><p>Then again he was a walking corpse, so was he really human?</p><p>(Never, his mind whispered. You were never human.)</p><p>"Hey Tommy, you look a little blue there, big guy." Charlie winced. "Er, grey? Did you get paint on your cheek?" He pointed, and the blonde made a show of not knowing what he was talking about and reaching for his phone to check the camera. Part of his concealer had smudged off, and it contrasted sharply against the pale tan of the concealer. He faked a surprised look. "Yeah, I'm painting my walls at home. It must've gotten smudged on my cheek or something." He shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "I'm gonna go wash that off, be right back."</p><p>"Oh, alright. Wait, Tommy! Before you go-" Charlie typed on his phone. "What <em>is</em> this?" He held up the screen to display a... bear? With buttons for eyes? What?</p><p>"Button... Bear?" Tommy stared. "Never mind, I'm going."</p><p>The diamond golem and slime hybrid shared a glance. Tommy didn't know what a teddy bear was? Did he grow up with zero connection to the outside world or something?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy knocked on the door before walking into the bathroom stalls, only to come face to face with the hero, Eret. She and him hadn't interacted much, but Tommy's heard that they were an efficient hero which immediately had gained at least a little respect for him.</p><p>Eret was also one of the only LGBTQIA+ heroes out there. Tommy felt hypocritical asking the person for this, especially since he'd said that very morning that makeup wasn't gendered.</p><p>"Do you have any concealer on you, Miss?" He asked feebly.</p><p>She smiled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Thank you." He sighed in relief. The two were almost the same skin color, or at least the skin color that Tommy was trying to replicate. "Eret, right?"</p><p>"Yup. You're Tommy?"</p><p>"Mhm." He nodded. "Nice to meet you, Eret. I wish we hadn't met with me asking you for something, though." </p><p>"Ah, it was just a bit of makeup! What did you use it for though? You just turned around and did something as soon as I handed it to you."</p><p>"It's-" He paused. "A long story. I didn't do anything weird, don't worry."</p><p>"A long story" was the understatement of the century but he couldn't exactly say <em>oh yeah, I died and now my skin's all grey and shit but I lived because I'm the most powerful human experiment probably on earth! By the way, can I borrow some makeup so no one finds out?</em></p><p>Yeah, no.</p><p>Eret nodded, their hair slightly bouncy. "Alright then. As long as you didn't take a bite out of it or something, we're all good." Tommy snorted. "No thanks, I resort to eye shadow when I need a snack. Because people do that, I guess." They laughed, and Eret bid him on his way. She left the concealer with him though, "just in case he changes his food pallet."</p><p>The hero wasn't so bad after all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Wilbur Soot </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Sam: WHAT WAS THAT</p><p>Wilbur Soot: IM SORRY SAM</p><p>Sam: WHY DIDNT YOU READ HIS PROFILE</p><p>Wilbur Soot: I THOUGHT YOU DID</p><p>Sam: IT WAS A REQUIREMENT WHY DID NIETHER OF US DO IT</p><p>Wilbur Soot: AAAAAAAAAAAÆ</p><p>Sam: What else did we miss? Does he have a secret sibling? Was he adopted yet?</p><p>Wilbur Soot: don't tell Phil he's already looking for ways to adopt adults</p><p>Sam: not if I get to them first</p><p>Wilbur Soot: Sam???</p><p>SAM???</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>POGCHAMP plus dream</b>
</p><p>Chimken Nunget: I am adopting Thomas</p><p>Minecraft's grim reaper: not if I get to him first, fool</p><p>Fuck: Phil, Sam, please,</p><p>What</p><p>Who changed my name again?</p><p>Short: haha</p><p>WHO CHANGED MY NAME WHAT THR FUCK ILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU</p><p>Dream: You sure about that?</p><p>Short: suddenly nevermind</p><p>Potato-senpai: Dream change my name back</p><p>Did you change everyone's names</p><p>Short: is that.... Is that techno</p><p>Potato-senpai: I live a miserable existence</p><p>Short: okay that's techno got it</p><p>Anyone else?</p><p>Parental unit: Me as well</p><p>Dream </p><p>Dream: mother</p><p>Parental unit: hello duckling!! Change everyone's names back</p><p>Dream: or else what?</p><p>Parental unit: or else a mother's rage might get the best of me</p><p>
  <em>Dream has changed several names!</em>
</p><p>Dream: mother why</p><p>Puffy: :) thank you</p><p>Techno: I hate this fucking family</p><p>Sam: wait no I liked mine :(</p><p>Ponk: out of curiosity what did it mean</p><p>Sam: Skeppy</p><p>Skeppy: didn't you hear? He's a creeper minecraft's grim reaper blowing up blocks like Al Qaeda he's not a creature that'll eatcha but he'll leave you petrified</p><p>Sam: that</p><p>Ponk: I wish I didn't ask</p><p>Wilbur: PHIL I AM NOT OPPOSED TO GETTING ANOTHER BROTHER</p><p>Sam: I'm getting him first you little weasel</p><p>Phil: NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT</p><p>Ponk: this... This is so intense</p><p>Sammie chill</p><p>Sam: a</p><p>Phil: love? Gross</p><p>Ponk: you're just mad I can hold a relationship with someone that isn't a Samsung fridge- oh wait</p><p>Phil:</p><p>Wilbur: OH FUCK HE WENT FOR THE NECK</p><p>Phil: but I di</p><p>Ponk: oh I know you're divorced</p><p>Phil: ...</p><p>Wilbur: THE NECK GENTLEMEN ONE HIT KO</p><p>Phil: . . .</p><p>Techno: Phil's doing something</p><p>Wilbur: friendship: toxic edition??</p><p>Eret: And what if I adopt Tommy first</p><p>Dream: Woah, Eret's joined??</p><p>Phil: Eret i know where you are</p><p>Eret: suddenly nevermind</p><p>Sam: Phil if you even look at Tommy with the intention of adopting him I will pluck all your pretty black feathers off your body, skin you, and then make you a limited edition philza body pillow to sell to a bunch of fifteen year old girls, don't fucking test me</p><p>Dream: SAM??</p><p>Phil: Sam if YOU even look at Tommy with the intent of adopting him I will rip YOU limb from limb by hand, grind them up into gunpowder, fuel a cannon with them, and then nail you directly in the stomach with a full steel cannonball. You wanna fight? You wanna test me? Be prepared when I come back swinging, bitchboy</p><p>Dream: PHIL???</p><p>Badboyhalo: I... Don't know how to respond.</p><p>Sam: bring it, old man</p><p>Phil: respect your elders or die you little shit</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Slmccl: did...did he just break the fourth wall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy does a thing</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Note because I didn't want anybody to get the wrong idea THERE IS FLIRTING NEAR THE END OF THE CHAPTER IT IS PLATONIC THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP STUFF GOING ON WSNTED TO MAKE THAT CLEAR okay you can read now thank</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy didn't fucking trust Dream.</p><p>Now, this distrust wasn't unfounded. He had been neutral, even kind to the man at the start, but it slowly turned into an odd friendship, the duo were what could be called friends, even though they were just coworkers who were more friendly then what was considered normal.</p><p>Then everything changed.</p><p>Tommy couldn't place the exact time that it happened, but it'd happened a while ago, and all Tommy knows is that he saw the man one morning, waved and smiled, but then the scent hit his nose and it wasn't Dream.</p><p>Whoever it was, it weren't Dream.</p><p>The blonde watched in concealed horror as the... whatever it was, copied Dream's wave exactly. What the hell? What was it, why was it pretending to be Dream?</p><p>All he knew was that it <em>wasn't</em> his friend.</p><p>This was something else entirely, and it smelt faintly of the facility.</p><p>(Fake-Dream, He noted, smelt like the facility too.)</p><p>It could've just been his imagination.</p><p>(Tommy didn't believe in coincidence.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy wasn't paranoid. He wasn't.</p><p>If he'd put a few more syringes in his bag, a few more quickly scribbled sigils and a dagger, well nobody needed to know. If he walked quieter around Dream(?) And yet still acted friendly to the man, whom did it concern?</p><p>A famous phrase Tommy had learned long, long ago was at the forefront of his mind as he chatted casually with the Not-Dream.</p><p>Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.</p><p>He was doing that, no? He was keeping an eye out, he was... He was...</p><p>He was inviting Dream to a restaurant. No big deal.</p><p>(The pills sat heavy in his pocket. It only took one to knock someone out, and the two were going to simply <em>grab a quick meal and catch up on everything.</em> He wasn't about to kidnap the imposter, grill him for details for weeks on end in a faraway warehouse whilst he used his card deck to make a perfect impersonation of Dream to take the faker's place. He wasn't going to drug the Not-Dream once he was done so that he'd forget completely, transfer all the memories from his impersonation to the faker, and then finish behind the scenes because good people didn't do that.</p><p>It's a good thing, he thinks as he slips the pill into the other man's drink and watches it dissolve, that he wasn't a person at all.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If Tommy needed oxygen, he was sure his breath would come out in ragged, torn gasps. </p><p>Why did his back hurt <em>so fucking bad?</em></p><p>What was this? The two rashes on his back had become swollen, and he feared that a parasite could've actually gotten in his body. This fear only tripled when he saw the two bulges <em>twitch.</em></p><p>Like, deadass <em>move</em>.</p><p>What. The. Fuck.</p><p>They wriggled under his skin, and he gagged. <em>Oh god- this is disgusting-</em></p><p>It felt like they were trying to carve out of his fucking body and he <em>hated it.</em></p><p>Tommy actually threw up this time, although since he'd eaten nothing, the only thing that left his mouth was stomach acid.</p><p>It splattered on the floor uselessly, Tommy bit his tounge to stop himself from screaming, and <em>wasn't this familiar?</em></p><p>He tasted a mixture of stomach acid and blood in his mouth and willed the instinctual tears to go away. He was writhing in pain in a <em>public bathroom.</em> It thankfully was just him, but he should probably get out and get on with it. He slowly got up, and lo and behold, his makeup was ruined again.</p><p>Some tears had slipped out, and messed up his concealer, creating the sight of grey lines down his face. Tommy absentmindedly texted Tubbo that he needed waterproof concealer. The man blended in the concealer that Eret gave him, and left the bathroom.</p><p>He had so much work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy squinted at his phone. "What the fuck is a carnival? How did Charlie get my number?"</p><p>He muttered under his breath. "Stop adding me to a groupchat, fucko."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>the loo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Slmccl added Trauma! At the disco</em>
</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: no</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: WHAT IS THAT NAME</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has left the group.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slmccle added Trauma! At the disco!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has left the group.</em>
</p><p>Slmccl: YOU CANT FIGHT IT TOMMY</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: PISS OFF</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has left the group.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slmccl added Trauma! At the disco!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has left the group.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slmccl added Trauma! At the disco!</em>
</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: let me out</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: TOMMY??????</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: conar</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: why is that your name holy shit</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: my life is currently all the panic and one of the disco</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: Valid, continue.</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: don't use that fuckin proper grammar at me</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: I don't know what you might be talking about, Thomas.</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: coming over to wring the life out of you you miserable parasite</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: I'll kill you</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I'll take your stupid sonic hoodie and tie a noose with it before boiling your spinal fluid and making your mother drink it. I'll rip your spine from out your back and blend it whilst using your tears and spinal juice as a fluid to make a Connor smoothie, and I'll laugh at you when you sob and beg for me to stop. Think I won't? Think I'm not watching you as we speak? I'll fight anyone at anytime, you don't stand a chance, hedgehog boy</p><p>Slmccl: holy fucking shit</p><p>It was me, Deo: is it just me or was that kinda... hot</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has left the group.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slmccl added Trauma! At the disco!</em>
</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: LET ME OUT</p><p>Slmccl: yeah hes gonna fit in just fine here</p><p>It was me, Deo: So tommy</p><p>Tell me about yourself</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I think I'd rather die </p><p>Slmccl: ignore deo he flirts with everyone when they first meet</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: oh thank god</p><p>It was me, Deo: yeah I'm not into anyone at the moment</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: good good</p><p>It was me, Deo: MOVING ON did you hear</p><p>Slmccl: hear what</p><p>It was me, Deo: apparently some idiot in the office doesn't know what a birthday party is lmao</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: </p><p>Slmccl: ...</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: so you're just going to say that huh</p><p>It was me, Deo: yea I didn't catch his name tho</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: Deo</p><p>It was me, Deo: what</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: that was tommy</p><p>Tommy didn't know what it was</p><p>Trauma! At the disco:</p><p>It was me, Deo: <em>oH</em></p><p>TOMMY IM SORRY</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: wow we're off to a great start nice to meet you deo</p><p>It was me, Deo: IM SORRY TOMMY I DIDNT KNOW</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: this fuck is going to shit talk me to me and has the audacity to come crawling back with an apology</p><p>It was me, Deo: I can give you something else ;)</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: cash</p><p>It was me, Deo: what</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: cash, bitch</p><p>It was me, Deo: I have like 2 money</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: accepted</p><p>It was me, Deo: thank you intense phycological distress at the discothèque</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I'm already regretting staying</p><p>Slmccl: stay, we have uh</p><p>Deo what do we have</p><p>It was me, Deo: wouldn't you like to know, weather boy (derogatory)</p><p>Slmccl: hey tommy feel free to leave anytime</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: finally</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco has left the group.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slmccl added Trauma! To the disco!</em>
</p><p>Slmccl: I lied</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: bitch (derogatory)</p><p>Slmccl: bitch (endearing)</p><p>It was me, Deo: bitch (ravenous)</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: deo what does that mean</p><p>It was me, Deo: (ravenous)</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: DEO???</p><p>Anyways can we get back to the slightly troubling screen name that tommy has</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: what's the problem</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: are you serious</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: what's the problem bitch</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: you... You okay there buddy</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: what are you, my therapist</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: you have a therapist?</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: no I don't like talking about my problems</p><p>Slmccl: this gives me the vibes of that one tumblr shitpost that says "I don't feel like dealing w my problems I'll just be stupid online"</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: yeah that pretty much sums me up</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: your vibes are horrible and sad</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: you should see my life</p><p>Slmccl: ajdgdjsbsjs</p><p>ANYWAYS @everyone introduce yourselves</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE</p><p>Santa's bitch: who changed my name again</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: who.... who are you</p><p>Santa's bitch Callahan</p><p>
  <em>Slmccl changed Santa's bitch's name to Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn</em>
</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: you live for now</p><p>Slmccl: (clenches fist with all the righteousness of a wronged protagonist in a kung fu film) I am the king</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: weirdly specific but okay</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: owo?? What's this??</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: ignore him</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: ooowwooo???</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: you're the janitor I don't even know how you got into the chat</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: I slept with Fundy to get in uwu</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: @IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY what do you have to say for yourself</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: HE DID NOT</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: compelling argument but do you have any eyewitnesses or proof</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: OF ME AND HBOMB NOT FUCKING???</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: fundy wundy smoogums pie if you wanted an eyewitness to be there whilst we had hot steamy sex all you had to do was ask</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: WE DONT HAVE SEX</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: but when we do</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: *IF</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: WHEN </p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: what</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: moving on</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: WHAT</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: hi tommy!!! So glad to see another cat hybrid in the office \(ˆ o ˆ)/</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: what abt antfrost??</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: what about him</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: ,,,,</p><p>Slmccl: @Pancakes down the stairs on thursaday how does this make you feel</p><p>Pancakes down the stairs on thursday: afraid</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: okay that's too long of a name, the authors gonna get a fucking seizure if he has to type that out whenever you open your stupid mouth. we were already pushing it with Callahan's name</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: what</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: what</p><p>Pancakes down the stairs on thursday: what</p><p>Slmccl: did....did he just break the fourth wall</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: anyways</p><p>
  <em>Trauma! At the disco changed Pankcakes down the stairs on thursday to cat (derogatory)</em>
</p><p>Cat (derogatory): ....you're a cat hybrid too???</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I'm just better</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: we're better then you antfrost hows it feel</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: not you</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: ajdhdkashsi that reply came so quick</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: tommy :(</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: we haven't even met and I already hate you possibly the most simply because of your name</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: what's wrong with neko fembot nightmare</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: literally everything</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: okay intense phycological distress at the discothèque</p><p>It was me, Deo: oi stop stealing my lines</p><p>Neko femboy nightmare: die mad about it</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: @Trauma! At the disco you probably already know me but I'm ConnorEatsPants or just Connor</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: that explains the name</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: I don't want to talk about my name</p><p>Slmccl: I'm charlie slimesicle Im made of flesh and bone</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: no you arent</p><p>Slmccl: thank you for your astounding observation Fundy Soot</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: WAIT WAIT WAIT</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: waiting</p><p>Slmccl: woute</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: SOOT???</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: yeah??</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: does Wilbur have a secret lovechild that I'm not aware of</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: secret <em>what</em></p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: A SECRET LOVECHILD???</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: IT WAS MY BEST GUESS</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: I mean its not really a secret </p><p>Trauma! At the disco: I'm assuming you're adopted considering the fact that he's human and you very much are not</p><p>EAT PANT CONAR: FURRY</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: EAT SHIT CONAR</p><p>Slmccl: ConarEatsShit confirmed???</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: he fucked a fish</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: ʷʰᵃᵗ</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: Wilbur fucked a fish and had fundy</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: that's not real right please tell me it isn't so</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: if you're so unsure then ask him yourself</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: why would I do that</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: because its gonna be hilarious to watch you casually try and bring up weather he had intercourse with a salmon</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: A SALMON???</p><p>Not like, a mermaid or something???</p><p>Water nymph???</p><p>Rudolph the red nosed hellspawn: a fish</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: oh my god</p><p>I have to make fun of him but also publically humiliate him </p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: don't do that</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: well now I have to do it</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: TOMMY</p><p>THOMAS</p><p>THOMAS INNIT SMITH PLEASE</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: radio silence everyone</p><p>IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY: I will pay you</p><p>Trauma! At the disco: you couldn't afford me</p><p> </p><p>He snapped his phone closed to the sound of a spammed out chat. </p><p>Life was good, he was having a great time, and he had Cursed information.</p><p>It was an alright day, and he hums as he heads off to an abandoned warehouse in an undisclosed area to go have a lively little chat with a tied up man in green.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Come scream at me on twitter my name is Insomnia-hours</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Wilby: love you too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thomas Innit makes an astounding revelation</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The tip of his tail flicked as he slowly walked away from a decript warehouse. The answers from not-Dream weren't satisfactory enough, and he was simply bringing surgical tools to motivate the man to answer correctly.</p><p>...God, he sounded like the scientists. Maybe no surgical tools.</p><p>He thought. He'd just have to use a different kind of annoyance.</p><p>Maybe he could play the same sound over and over for weeks in end? Months? Until that bastard gave him answers, but no longer then that.</p><p>For now though-</p><p>He summoned his deck, grinning at the "copy" card and "puppet" card.</p><p>-he'd have to make do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy blinked blearily at his monitor. He was <em>so tired.</em> Between torturing his, uh, <em>temporary</em> prisoner, not sleeping due to a combination of screaming back pain and night terrors that left him feeling restless, horrible insomnia, and using three powers at once, he was suffering. He sighed, and leaned his head against his desk. It was late hours too, nearing on eleven at night. Only he, Wilbur, Phil, Techno, and Sam had stayed, everyone else was a <em>coward </em>and succumbed to silly things like <em>sleep</em> and the concept of <em>spending time with family.</em></p><p>How silly, they should be working! Tommy'd never understand why they'd ever want to go home when there was work right here.</p><p>...Okay, he was slipping too much into his old self, working himself to the bone. Maybe some sleep would be good. He signed and his head lolled forward as his vision blacked out for a moment. The teen groaned as he tried to right himself, his eyelids feeling droopy.</p><p>He was so fucking tired. Surely his boss wouldn't mind if he drifted off for a few minutes, right? </p><p>No! That was a loser's mindset. He shook his head and got up to strech, almost screaming when he lifted his arms. His back pain had gotten so much worse, and it hurt to move at this point. It was easier to hunch over slightly and just be miserable then anything else.</p><p>He stumbled his way over to a vending machine, much to the concerned eyes of his boss, ordered a red bull, a monster, and mixed them together, along with a vial of... Something in his pocket that was faintly glowing and several small pills.</p><p>Worrying.</p><p>His employee proceeded to mix them up and drink it, a few drops of luminescent fluid dripping down his chin.</p><p>"Tommy, what are you drinking?"</p><p>He drank faster.</p><p>"TOMMY-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"What even <em>is</em> this?"</p><p>"My drink?"</p><p>"I'm pretty sure one sip of this will kill you." Tommy snorted for some odd reason, attempting to take the drink from the taller again. Wilbur held it out of reach, and Tommy frowned. "Wilbur, give me back my drink."</p><p>"It's not safe. This thing is probably a hazard, and I also saw you put a glowing liquid in it. You don't get it back."</p><p>
  <em>"Wilbur."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tommy."</em>
</p><p>"I'll wrestle you for it, that shit is my life essence."</p><p>"Come at me, gremlin."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wilbur had sorely underestimated Tommy. The blonde teen was grinning and finishing his drink as a defeated and winded Wilbur laid on the floor. "How? How'd you do it?"</p><p>"I'm just that good." Human experimentation.</p><p>"How are you even that <em>strong, </em>were you born in hell or something?"</p><p>"I was born in a lab, your honor." The other chuckled, not realising that <em>Tommy wasn't actually lying about that.</em></p><p>"Fuck you catboy, you need to be studied in a tube." Tommy hummed. "Okay, Wilbur."</p><p>"I hate you."</p><p>"Okay, Wilbur."</p><p>"I <em>hate</em> you."</p><p>"Hey, this is a judgement free zone."</p><p>"Says who?"</p><p>"Says me." Tommy said pointedly.</p><p>"You don't get to decide that."</p><p>"Well if this isn't a judgement free zone, does this mean I get to make fun of you for having sex with a fucking fish?" Wilbur choked. "Who told you?"</p><p>"So it's real?"</p><p>The other stayed silent.</p><p>"<em>Wilbur</em>."</p><p>"Again, who told you?"</p><p>"Your little son boy, that's who."</p><p>The chestnut haired man looked up. "You know Fundy?"</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"How?" He got up to his feet, attempting to snatch the drink from Tommy only to end up on the floor again. He sighed. "I've never introduced you two to each other."</p><p>"We communicate telepathically, how else?" He scoffed. "I'm in the interns and employees group chat."</p><p>"You guys have a groupchat?" Wilbur looked at him with interest. "Can I joi-"</p><p>"It's literally the employees and interns groupchat. Everyone except heroes are allowed."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because we plan murders and shit, what else?"</p><p>"I've committed a murder."</p><p>"So have I, you're not special." Tommy looked away, drying his mouth with his sleeve.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Tommy-"</p><p>"Moving on, I- stop trying to steal my fucking drink, you bitch- I can't believe you- Wilbur STOP-" He protected his drink. His sip-sip, his prized possession. He'd flip the older man if it meant that he'd stop trying to steal Tommy's life juice. Tommy hissed, ears flattening. "Don't fuck with me, I have the power of god and anime on my side."</p><p>"But-But you-"</p><p>He tripped the man again and ran off, screaming internally.</p><p>
  <em>AAAAAAAAAAAAAA??</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Fishfucker</strong>
</p><p>Fishfucker: tommy where are y</p><p>Oh you bitch</p><p>Tommy: lmao fishfucker</p><p>Fishfucker: MY NAME???</p><p>Tommy: self explanatory</p><p>Fishfucker: you are so unprofessional</p><p>Tommy: says the man who:</p><p>A- tried to offer me a collar</p><p>B- let me burn his wardrobe</p><p>C- had sex with a literal fish and HAD A FOX CHILD(?)</p><p>D- I'm not even going to get into the fruit hat thing you did in like my first week of working here</p><p>E- you're related to techno so I immediately have no respect for you</p><p>Fishfucker: what was that last one</p><p>Tommy: I have no respect for that 21 year old man after he tried to fight a teenager because I have no parents</p><p>Fishfucker: on a different note</p><p>Tommy: no</p><p>Fishfucker: BIRTHDAY PARTY</p><p>Tommy: what does one do at birthday parties</p><p>Fishfucker: party ig</p><p>Tommy: I really don't need a party</p><p>Fishfucker: its too late, the banners are going up</p><p>Tommy: Wilbur no</p><p>Fishfucker: I'm getting the balloons from party city already</p><p>Tommy: WILBUR</p><p>Fishfucker: favorite flavor of cake go</p><p>Tommy: wtf you are so dramatic</p><p>Fishfucker: tommy I am giving you a party</p><p>You've never had one before so idk I just want to make it nice</p><p>Sorry is this too cheesy?? I just want you to be happy with it haha</p><p>Tommy?</p><p>Tommy: chocolate</p><p>Fishfucker: ?</p><p>Tommy: I like chocolate cake</p><p>Fishfucker: :D</p><p>Tommy: see you soon I guess asshole</p><p>Fishfucker: :D!!!!</p><p>Tommmyyyy</p><p>Tommy: no </p><p>Fishfucker: is someone going soffttt</p><p>Tomm: PISS OFF IM NOT GOING FUCKING SOFT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU</p><p>Fishfucker: awwwww tommmyyyyy</p><p>
  <em>Fishfucker has changed Fishfucker's name to Wilby</em>
</p><p>Wilby: toms</p><p>Do you like my name</p><p>Toms toms</p><p>Wait hold on</p><p>
  <em>Wilby has changed Tommy's name to Toms</em>
</p><p>Wilby: there we go :)</p><p>Toms: I hhate y ou,</p><p>Wilby: tommy?</p><p>Toms: ffuc k off you p reci.ous sh it</p><p>Wilby: pfft</p><p>Okay I'll see you soon</p><p>I'll get you your own chocolate cake toms, you'd better enjoy it</p><p>Toms: fuc of f</p><p>Wilby: love you too</p><p> </p><p>Tommy sniffled because what the hell? What the fuck? Wilbur cares enough to give him a <em>party</em> and care about what his favorite flavor of <em>cake</em> is?</p><p>The fact that Wilbur cares, really and truly is enough to send him into orbit because the only people who've ever cared about him were Sapnap and Tubbo and-</p><p><em>And Cl</em>-</p><p>He chokes on a sob and <em>wow</em>, where did those unshed tears come from?</p><p>A lot of things didn't make sense right now. Almost nothing did, and Tommy only saw in the pretty bright colors of <em>I love you</em> and <em>I just want to make it nice</em> and stupid nicknames like <em>Toms.</em></p><p>He chuckled wetly. This was all so baffling, he was still getting used to two people caring about him and his health and also them being able to do something about it, even after all these years.</p><p>So to suddenly gain another person that cared? To get someone else that he was so completely lucky to know just straight up care about him? That let him relax, that let him joke and push and not be bonded together by intense trauma? That let him finally act his sixteen? That was like an older brother?</p><p>It was so much, and all Tommy could do was hold his unbeating chest in his cold, dead hands and hope that maybe he was blessed enough to have <em>Sam</em> care too, that the creeper hybrid wouldn't yell and hit him if he got something wrong but instead <em>patiently show him how to do it correctly? That the man wasn't lying when he said that Tommy could ask for help anytime?</em></p><p>It was a near impossible thought in his mind, he decided.</p><p>
  <em>I'm so blessed to have three whole people care! I'd just be greedy and bad if I assumed ANOTHER person cared, that's just not possible.</em>
</p><p>"I'm so blessed." He whispered, tears almost flowing down his face, but never pushing the boundary of his eyes. His smile was small and broken and hopeful, as though maybe there was hope for him.</p><p>Maybe heroes did get happy endings after all...?</p><p>(Nothing good lasts forever, you and I both know that well, Theseus.)</p><p>Tommy didn't want to think about it.</p><p>All he knew was that Tubbo cared and Sapnap cared and Wilbur cared, and that was good enough for him.</p><p>He sniffled again, and knew already that he'd burn down the fucking world for those three.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Today's question:<br/>What's everyone favorite baked good? Im a slut for churros</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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